“You hid behind a tree yesterday, so you wouldn’t have to talk to them.”
“You saw that?” I cringe.
“Yeah, I saw that.”
I let out a sigh. “It’s just…sure I like him, and I know we could never be together. Yet knowing all that, it still—”
“Hurts to see him with another woman.”
“Yeah,” I exhale, rubbing at my dry eyes.
“Why could you and him never be together?”
“Because he’s a man-whore.”
She chuckles. “I don’t know. I think, with the way it went down with you two and from what you told me how Carrick behaved…maybe he did want more with you.”
“I doubt it. Irrespective of that, I don’t get involved with drivers anyway.” I roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Why?”
“I just don’t.”
She blows out a breath. “You can tell me, you know. You can trust me. I won’t tell anyone. I know you might think I’m a gossip, but I can keep things private that truly matter.”
I stare at her and suddenly find myself in a rare moment of honesty. “I lost someone I loved to Formula One. He died in an accident on the track.”
“I’m sorry, Andi.”
“It was a long time ago.” I shrug like it doesn’t matter, but it’s all that matters.
“Is that why you work for Formula One? To somehow still be close to this person?”
Petra is more perceptive than I give her credit for.
“Partly. I studied engineering at university because I wanted to learn how to build better engines. People are always going to race, but I want to be able to help make a car be as safe as it can be before they take it out on the track. Also, I work here because I love it. Cars are all I’ve ever known. I grew up with my head under the hood of a car.” I chuckle, a hint of sadness in it. “Yeah, I guess being here, doing this, does make me feel close to my dad.”
I realize my slip up immediately, and I freeze cold.
“It was your dad who died?”
I flash a panicked glance at her, suddenly feeling like I can’t breathe.
“It’s okay, Andi,” she reassures in a soothing voice. “I won’t say anything to anyone. I just—why do you keep it a secret?”
I let out a long sigh, and then I turn to her. “I keep it a secret because my dad is—was…William Wolfe.”
“Oh.” She looks taken aback. “Oh. Fuck. Andi…why didn’t you tell me? But wait—” She shakes her head like she’s clearing it. “Didn’t he…your dad…didn’t he…die…here in Monaco?”
“Yes.” I lie back, staring at the ceiling. I can feel tears pooling in my eyes, so I suck in a breath, keeping them at bay.
“Jesus…Andi. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through being here, especially with today being race day, and having to deal with all the Carrick and Sienna crap.”
“I just didn’t want people to know and think that Uncle John gave me the job because of who my dad is, so I kept it to myself.”
“Hmm…I guess I can understand that.”
I look across at her again. “Petra, here, only my Uncle John knows that William is my dad, and I want it to stay that way.”
“You can trust me. Anything you tell me stays here.” Pressing her lips together, she does the lock-and-throw-away-the-key action over her mouth
“I appreciate it.” I smile softly at her.
“Gotta say, you make a whole lot more sense to me now—with the whole not-dating-drivers thing.”
I let out a sigh. “When you see your dad die on the track and then watch your mother go through the pain of losing him…” I turn my head and look at her. “I don’t want that for myself.”
“But you do like Carrick…right?”
“Sure, I like him. But nothing can ever come of it.”
“I understand, considering what happened with your dad…but Carrick isn’t your dad, Andi.”
My eyes meet hers. “But he is. Besides the whoring around—well, my dad was a bit of a one before he met my mum—Carrick is everything he was. And that’s what everyone says about Carrick. He’s the next Wolfe. Everything about Carrick—from the early rise to Formula One to his recklessness and easy attitude to the way he drives…there’s a hell of a lot about Carrick that’s similar to my dad.”
“But it doesn’t mean that he’s destined for the same fate.”
I cringe at her choice of words.
“Jesus…sorry. That didn’t come out right.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m usually fine with this stuff. I mean, it’s been fourteen years. But today is just a weird day for me, is all. I’m more sensitive than usual.”
There’s a slight silence.
Then, she says, “Carrick will be fine today. You know that, right?”
I close my eyes, blowing out a breath. “Yeah.”
“Look, just playing devil’s advocate here, but it clearly worries you when Carrick races, and you like the guy, so whether you’re with him or not, you’re still going to worry, right?”
I open my eyes and look at her. “Yeah, but there’s a difference between worrying over a friend than over a boyfriend—or worse, someone you love.”
She stares at me for a long moment. I can see her wheels turning behind her eyes.
Lying on her back, she puts her hands behind her head. “Do you think the pop princess will be at the track today?”