I don’t go into the fact that memories of my father’s crash were bleeding into a vision of Carrick dying in exactly the same way.
There’s a knock at the door, and it pushes open, revealing Uncle John.
His eyes go to Petra and then back to me. “I saw you dipping out. You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” I smile to reassure him.
His eyes flick to Petra again. I know he’s cautious to say anything in front of her.
“Petra knows…about my dad, Uncle John. I told her this morning.”
“Good.” He nods. “About time someone else around here knew.” He gives me a smile. “I can’t stay though. I have to get back. I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay.”
“Thanks, Uncle John.”
I stop him just as he’s opened the door. “How’s Carrick doing out there?”
He turns back to me. “Real good.” He smiles big. “He’s still leading.”
That brings a smile to my lips.
I stay with Petra in Carrick’s room for a few more minutes until I feel like myself again, and then we go back down to watch the rest of the race.
It’s still tense for me. But at least I don’t freak out again.
Carrick finishes first.
The relief I feel at seeing him pull into the garage is immense. And the knowledge that he won here in Monaco and how great that will feel for him turns my relief into elation.
When he pulls off his helmet and fireproof balaclava, he climbs out of his car, and his hair is all stuck to his head. He has the biggest smile on his face. He just looks so goddamn beautiful that it makes my heart swell.
He meets my eyes across the garage, grinning at me.
Congratulations, I mouth to him through the crowd of our team as they all jump on him, cheering and celebrating.
But his eyes never leave mine, and when he starts to make his way over to me, pushing past the guys, my heart starts to beat faster, butterflies swarming into my stomach.
Then, I hear an almighty screeching sound, and my head jerks around to see Sienna running across the garage. She launches herself at Carrick, jumping up, and she wraps her long legs around his waist. Her arms around his neck, she plants a full-on kiss on his mouth.
Unable to watch, I look away. Blinking through the sting in my eyes, I quietly make my way out of the garage.
“YOU’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME?” Petra asks, a sway in her stance.
She’s standing before me, drink in hand, looking a little drunk. Well, we all are. We’re in a La Rascasse, a bar that is situated on the famous bend on the Formula 1 track, the bend in which Carrick cornered like the pro he is and brought home the trophy.
We’re all out celebrating the win. Minus Carrick. He had to attend a prearranged sponsorship party. His dad and Uncle John are there, too. So is Sienna.
But I’m not thinking of either of them tonight. I’m out having a good time with my friends.
I was relieved when I found out that Carrick wouldn’t be here as I didn’t want to be forced to spend time around him and the pop princess. Now that I’m out and having fun, I’m finding that I’m missing him. It seems weird to be celebrating his win without him here.
“I’m having a good time.” I smile at Petra.
Then, Ben comes over, stumbling a little, and slings his arms around the both of us. “You girls okay for drinks?”
“I’m good.” I show him my half-full glass. I’ve been going steady tonight, pacing myself, as I know it’s going to be a long night, and I’m already feeling a little tipsy.
“I’ll have another, and so will Andi,” Petra informs Ben.
Ben shoots a look at me in question. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Petra with her you-will-have-another-drink face on.
“Okay. Looks like I’m having another drink.”
I down the one in my hand, wincing at the burn. I’m on double vodkas and lemonade—hence, the pacing, but I guess that’s out the window now.
Petra gives a little cheer, clapping her hands, as I put my empty glass down on the nearby table.
I follow them both over to the bar.
“So, what are we having?” Ben asks.
“Shots!” Petra yells out.
I flash a look at Ben, who grins and shrugs his shoulders.
“Looks like we’re having shots,” I mutter.
Not that it matters what I say as Petra is already leaning over the bar, and she has grabbed the attention of the barman, placing her drink order.
I honestly don’t know how she does it. It’s heaving with people in here tonight, but every time she goes to the bar, she gets served straight away. I always have to stand there like a plant, waiting for ages to be served.
I’m going to have to find out her barman-whispering secret.
“So, how are you doing?” Ben knocks his shoulder with mine.
“In general or tonight?” I give a grin.
“Both.”
“I’m great.”
His eyes linger on my face for a little too long, like he’s trying to get a read on me. And he must see something there because he says, “Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure.” I let out a nervous laugh.
“Just…with what happened with Robbie this morning, what he said about you and Carrick.”
I freeze. Then, I kick-start myself back to life. “It doesn’t matter.” I give a halfhearted shrug. “It’s all sorted now.”
Ben gives a slight nod of his head. “It was good of you to sort it out with Carrick, so Robbie could keep his job.”
I shrug again, averting my eyes. “It wasn’t fair for Robbie to lose his job over something so stupid.”