Home > The Wrong Mirror(16)

The Wrong Mirror(16)
Author: Emma Darcy

Owen's smile to her was a smooth withdrawal from his son's declared territory. 'I want you to know that you're always welcome here, Karen,' he finished warmly.

Karen forced herself to answer. 'Thank you,Owen.' The words trembled from her lips, but she was too shaken to say more. There could be no help from Owen, no point in even discussing the situation with him. Without a doubt Hal held the whip hand. Whatever Owen privately thought of his son's plans, if indeed he knew them at all, he would not do anything which would alienate Hal further. He loved his son. And Karen was totally alone.

'If you'll excuse us, Dad, I'll take Karen and David upstairs and show them their rooms.'

'Of course.'

Owen released her hands as Hal took her arm, and Karen caught a look of troubled concern in the old man's eyes before Hal turned her away. Owen liked her, she knew he did. But all she could expect from him was sympathy.

Karen was even more shaken when Hal led them into David's room. The furniture was all new, painted a bright canary yellow with a white trim. Cupboards, drawers, shelves and desk were all fitted into a classy unit which stretched around two walls. Matching curtains and bedspread featured Australian flora and fauna. A huge beanbag in the shape of David's favourite television character, Humphrey B. Bear, squatted on the floor near the bed. All the toys to delight a three-year-old were stacked around the room, and even a set of felt pens with colouring-in books were waiting on the desk.

Hal had done all this in one day. One day! It probably only took a mere snap of the fingers when he had all the Chissolm wealth at his disposal! With bitter irony Karen remembered his meticulous survey of David's room last night. She had scraped and saved over years to buy what Hal had provided in one day. How could she possibly compete with him?

David was goggle-eyed with wonder for a few moments, then he exploded with excitement. He whirled from one thing to another, touching, trying toys out, and babbling delight at his new father who answered him with happy indulgence. When David ran over to Hal with a mechanical robot he couldn't work, Hal bent down and demonstrated its action on the floor. David was entranced. Hal smiled up at Karen, a totally unguarded smile inviting her to share the moment with him, but she could not return it. His eyes hardened as he rose to his feet .

'Something wrong?'

'You can't buy love, Hal,' she grated out.

'I'm not trying to.' A bitter edge crept into his voice. 'You had the joy of giving for three birthdays and three Christmases, not to mention David's actual birth. Let's say I'm making up for missed opportunities. Now you can put a smile on your face and stay with us or get out and leave my son with me. Please yourself.'

Hatred welled up inside her. She would not let him take David away from her--never! And at that moment David raced over and grabbed her hand. 'Come and see, Mummy! There's lots and lots of Matchbox cars!'

Karen threw a triumphant look at Hal before accompanying her son, but her only answer was a soft chuckle which gave her an uncomfortable, crawly feeling. She stayed. She sat in the bean-bag and Hal sprawled on the floor next to her, and together they gave David the image of parents in mutual accord, happily indulging their son in a family hour before bedtime. Hal was faultless in his act with her, and Karen was forced to support his role by David's pleasure in having both his mummy and daddy pandering to him.

It was a tremendous relief to Karen when she could finally declare it was David's bed time. David protested but Hal supported her. He took David into the ensuite bathroom, then stood by joking with him while Karen helped him into his pyjamas and put him into bed. She kissed David goodnight and he looked up at Hal expectantly. The soft compound of love and pleasure on Hal's face as he bent to kiss his son tore at Karen's heart. But David was her son too, her mind cried defensively, and the years of loving gave her more right to him.

'Thanks for all the toys, Daddy,' David mumbled as he snuggled into his pillow.

'You're welcome, son. See you in the morning.'

'See you,' David echoed contentedly.

Hal switched out the light and caught Karen's hand as she brushed past him. He held her fast while he quietly shut the door.

'Let me go!' Karen muttered at him. 'David's not watching now,' she added, resentful of the liberties he had taken under his son's delighted eyes, and all too aware that the advantage had gone to him in this last hour with David.

'From mother to shrew in one quick step,' he mocked. 'I haven't shown you to your room yet, Karen. It's just along here, next door to David's.'

Feeling sick and defeated, Karen allowed him to lead her to her room. Her eyes registered the feminine elegance of the Queen Anne suite and the soft peach tonings of the furnishings, but the luxurious setting meant nothing to her. Her mind was fixed on Hal, and with all the desperation in her heart she attacked the specious argument he had used for the stance he was taking.

'How can you say you sacrificed yourself for Kirsty? She went with you everywhere, sharing your life and your work and your bed!'

'Did she?' The words were grated back at her with venom. In an abrupt explosion of violence Hal slammed the door shut and spun Karen around to face him, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her upper arms, his eyes ablaze with fierce emotion. 'I'll give you the truth about Kirsty, Karen. She didn't share--she took. And I never loved her. I lied to you in the hospital because I want my son and I'll fight you for him any way I can. I never loved Kirsty, but I gave her love. I gave and she took.'

A spasm of pain crossed his face. He dropped his hands and paced away from Karen, waving a cutting dismissal. 'She started off as my partner and she was good, the very best--brave and fearless, yet with a compassion for others that made her very vulnerable. She moved me as no other woman had. She was almost the woman I wanted and I would have married her, but Kirsty refused. Yet I knew she needed me. I believed she loved me .. .'

'Kirsty did love you, Hal,' Karen interrupted softly. 'Maybe she refused to marry you because she knew you didn't love her.'

He shook his head and swung around, his face screwed into a seething rage of denial. 'How can you say that when she did what she did! I stayed with her! I stayed with her because I sensed that if I didn't, she would become totally reckless. I didn't understand the demons that drove her on, but I can tell you this ... after she gave my child to you, she plied me to take on more and more dangerous assignments. She became more rash, more adventurous, taking risks that didn't need to be taken. Sometimes she scared the hell out of me.'

'You didn't have to stay,' Karen pointed out quietly.

He looked at her with world-weary eyes. 'Didn't I, Karen? Let me tell you something, if you don't already know it. When someone depends on you, clings to you for emotional support as Kirsty clung to me, and you know that if you don't give it, that person will be destroyed. It takes a more callous man than I am to walk away. I couldn't leave her--even though I wanted to end it, I couldn't leave her. She meant too much to me.'

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