He wouldn't understand; he was too wrapped up in himself to understand. Sbe gave him an answer which had no comeback. 'Because I'm going to marry Hal Chissolm.'
'Hal Chissolm!' His face ran a gamut of emotions from astonishment to resentment.
'You'd marry your own sister's lover?'
Karen flinched. Barry had found a comeback an right, and it was a stab to the heart. 'Kirsty is dead, Barry.'
He flushed. That was another subject he had avoided tonight, and Karen remembered belatedly that Kirsty had never liked Barry--she had said as much after the divorce.
''You can't love him!' Barry blustered. 'He's only just returned to Australia. Wbat do you want to marry him for?'
'That's my business, Barry.'
He glared at her. 'I suppose it's his money!'
Karen pushed back her chair and stood up, very much on her dignity. 'I'd like you to leave now, Barry. We really don't bave anything more to say. I do wish you well, but there's no point in our seeing each other again.'
He rose to his feet, anger making his face almost ugly. 'It's that bloody kid of his, isn't it. That's why you're marrying him--to keep your precious David! You sacrificed our marriage for Hal Chissolm's bastard kid, and now you're going to sacrifice yourself. It's crazy, can't you see that? Let the boy go, for God's sake!'
'I can't do that, Barry. I'm his mother. Now please .. .'
'Kirsty was his mother!' he raged, then made an effort to pull himself together. 'You've got this thing all cockeyed, Karen. I thought that having gone it on your own for a few years and seen how tough it was, you'd be only too glad to get rid of David when he'd be going to a better home. I signed tbat statement because it was good for both of us. Hal Chissolm wants the boy. It's natural that he'll love his son. It's time you .. .'
'Don't say any more, Barry. Just go,' she commanded coldly. 'I don't love you. I don't want to marry you, so no purpose can be served by your staying here any longer.'
The anger he had striven to control blazed out again. 'You're nothing but a damned fool, Karen!' he shouted at her, then stormed out of the house, slamming the door after him.
Karen sank back on to her chair, propped her elbows on the dining table and covered her face with her hands. So she was a fool for thinking of marrying Hal Chissolm, and she would probably suffer a private damnation if she did marry him, but what else could she do? She didn't want a life without David, nor a life where she only saw him for brief periods. She wanted to be there for him day by day, watching over his growing up. He was her son. Kirsty's son. Hal's son.
Kirsty had loved Hal; Karen did not understand her sister's decision or actions, but she was certain that Kirsty had loved Hal. And under the hard shell of hurt which was driving him to take such a ruthless payment for what had been done, Hal was a good man, a giving man. He had stayed with Kirsty until her death and he would be a loving father to David--Karen could not doubt that after seeing him with David over the weekend. Maybe, in time, he would soften towards her.
To Karen's weary mind it seemed inevitable that she should marry him. Kirsty, Hal, David and herself ... the connections were too close, too intertwined for any escape from them. There was no point in waiting until Thursday before giving him her decision. Nothing was going to change. Nothing could change. And with that thought came a pleasantly numb peace of mind.
She dragged herself up from the table, walked out to the family room, picked up the telephone and dialled. Her hands were quite steady. Her voice was also steady as she asked to speak to Hal. When he answered, she felt an odd satisfaction in hearing his voice.
'Karen? What can I do for you?'
It was a hard voice, a strong voice, without any of Barry's persuasive tone. Yet the question pleased her. 'What can I do for you?' Barry had not asked that question tonight, not once, for all that he had said he loved her. Karen took a deep breath.
'I've decided to marry you, Hal.'
There was a short silence, then, 'It was the only sensible choice. I'll make an appointment at the Register Office for Friday afternoon.'
That startled her. 'This Friday afternoon? But .. .'
'I've already made arrangements for a special licence to be pushed through. My solicitor will be around to see you toorrow to get your signature on the relevant documents.'
Had he been so sure of her decision? 'I won't be here tomorrow, Hal- I have to go to work.'
'Give it a miss. Or get leve of absence. Or resign. You don't have to work any more, Karen.'
Her backbone stiffened. She might be marrying him, but he wasn't going to take over her whole life. 'I prefer to work, thank you. And David comes to work with me.'
'As you like,' Hal conceded carelessly. 'Do you want to sell your house or rent it?'
'I haven't thought about it.' He was throwing so much at her that Karen's mind was whirling again.
'I'll send my solicitor around to the kindergarten to see you. He's good. Tell him what you want done with the house. I'll let you know what time for the Register Office on Friday,' Hal concluded matter-offactly.
'Yes. Thank you.'
'Goodnight, Karen.'
'Goodnight,' she echoed limply.
The line went dead and Karen slowly replaced her receiver. The die was cast now. She would be married to Hal Chissolm on Friday. So final so soon, yet if it was to be done, it was probably better that it be done quickly. She lifted her chin to a proud, defiant angle. If she was going to Hal as a sacrifice, he would not find a head bowed in submission.
CHAPTER BIGHT
THERE had been so much to do that Karen had found it relatively easy not to think about what marriage to Hal would mean to her personally. She had simply blocked it out, driving herself along with constant activity during the day until she fell into bed at night, so physically exhausted that sleep was almost immediate. By Friday morning all the cleaning of the house and the packing had been completed to her satisfaction and there was nothing left to do but think.
The normal kind of marriage, Hal had said which meant sharing his bed. Her mind kept skittering away from that thought, but it could not be banished. The only man she had ever been with was Barry. Would it be very different with Hal? Could she cope with such physical intimacy where there was no semblance of love? Did he intend to take her as ruthlessly as he had driven her into this marriage? Would he be thinking of Kirsty?
For some reason it was this last question which upset Karen most. Physically she was Kirsty's double and she could not forget that her sister had shared Hal's bed for six years. Never in her life had Karen wished that she was not Kirsty's identical twin, but she wished it now, quite desperately.
She was in no state to face Owen when he arrived to pick up David. Hal had arranged that David spend the day with his grandfather. Karen had not seen Owen or spoken with him since the previous weekend, so she had no idea how he viewed this hasty marriage, nor did she want to talk about it with him now. No matter what Owen thought, she had to go through with it.