'Because .. .' Karen shook her head, absolutely stunned from the shock of Hal's attack--an attack which rocked her preconceptions of Hal's and Kirsty's relationship. Kirsty had never indicated that Hal was really concerned about her. She had never told Karen how she had explained her need for a leave of absence from the work she loved. The few things she had said had convinced Karen that Hal didn't care, wouldn't care. Had Kirsty lied to her? But for what purpose? It still didn't make sense.
'Because?' Hal prompted harshly.
Karen was too disturbed to monitor her answer. 'Because I wanted a child,' she murmured dazedly.
Again the pained bewilderment. 'Why didn't you have a child of your own? Why take mine?'
Tears of confusion swam into Karen's eyes. 'It was Kirsty's baby! Kirsty's!' she insisted defensively. 'And I didn't have one of my own because my husband couldn't. He was infertile.'
'My God!'
The appalled mutter was barely a croak but it snapped Karen's attention back to Hal. His face was twisted with pain and the grey eyes held all the bleakness of grieving torment. They turned to her with a look that seared her soul.
'That she should love you so much ... and me so little .. .'
'It wasn't like that!' Karen burst out vehemently, unable to bear his reading of the situation. 'Kirsty didn't think you'd want to be tied down. She didn't want to be tied down herself. She wanted to share your life. The pregnancy wasn't planned. When it happened, she thought of me and Barry because we'd put our names down for an adoption and she preferred her child to come to us rather than go to anyone else.'
'Rather than to me--his natural father!' Hal bit out fiercely. His eyes shot bitter venom at her. 'You and your sister conspired to rob me of what was rightfully mine--my son.'
Before she knew it, Karen was on her feet, counter-attacking with all the venom she had felt since Kirsty had died. 'Rightfully yours!' she spat scornfully. 'By what right? Because one night you took my sister to bed with you and you didn't bother taking on the responsibility of contraception? Was it your body that carried a child for nine months and went through the labour pains of birth? By what possible right is he yours? No doubt your lust was satisfied that night and that was all you wanted.'
'She knew I would have wanted the child--she knew! And she kept him from me. You kept him.'
'And what would you have done, Hal? Stayed home and looked after him or put the baby in a knapsack to trek around the world with you? Oh, Kirsty knew you all right. That's why she gave David to me.'
Beads of perspiration were breaking out on his forehead, but he gathered the strength for one more shot at her. 'You're wrong! And I'll get my son back from you if it's the last thing I do!'
Fear punched Karen's heart. Was she wrong? But why would Kirsty have deceived her about Hal? Karen wanted to scream at him, claw at him, but the saner part of her mind was appalled at what she had already done. Hal was strained to the limit. The heat of their exchange had obviously sent up his temperature; even his eyes looked feverish now. She had to remember how ill he really was. Fighting with him was the worst possible thing she could do anyway. It achieved nothing good either for him or her--or David.
She took a deep breath and forced her voice to a low, even tenor. 'Kidnapping is beyond the pale of the law, Hal, and the law is on my side. When you can stop thinking of yourself, perhaps you can start thinking of what's in David's best interests.'
'You too, Karen. He's been cheated of his father for three years,' Hal choked out bitterly. Again he swallowed several times. His eyes demanded her patience while hating his own weakness and hating her for being a witness to it. 'How does a woman take a man's love ... love, not lust ... before and after she bears him a child, and keep his child a secret from him? How can she do it?'
The pain was there now, clouding the hatred, even though he was fighting to repress it. Karen turned her gaze away, feeling sorry for him, however twisted his point of view was.
'I don't know,' she answered softly. -'I couldn't have done what Kirsty did, but then I never was like Kirsty. We only look the same. I didn't understand her relationship with you; it always seemed wrong to me. She said she didn't want to lose you--that's all I know.'
'She didn't want anything to change,' Hal corrected harshly.
'Or was it you who didn't want anything to change?' countered Karen, stung to a further defence of her sister. 'You could have asked Kirsty to marry you. God knows you ... enjoyed ... her companionship long enough!'
A savage mockery stabbed from steel-grey eyes. 'Didn't you know anything about your sister? Kirsty wouldn't have married anyone. Not anyone! As for me, it's plain now that she regarded me as a convenience.'
Karen paled. It wasn't true! Kirsty had loved him, she knew that for certain. Kirsty wouldn't have told him about David unless she had loved him. Karen's mind whirled with sickening thoughts. Kirsty had always wanted to be free. But to give up her baby when she needn't have .. .it was incomprehensible to Karen. And if Hal had been cheated, what was she to do?
She stared at him in guilty concern. His eyes were closed and his hands were clenched into fists as if he was willing his body to give him the strength he wanted. His breathing was harsh and laboured.
'I'm sorry,' she muttered, not quite knowing what she was apologising for. 'This can't be doing you any good. I think I'd better go.'
The eyelids snapped open and determined purpose glittered at her. 'You haven't seen the last of me, Karen. No matter where you go, I'll come after you.'
There was no point in saying goodbye. Karen walked out of his room, all too aware that she would see Hal again. And the future looked more frightening than it had ever done.
CHAPTER FOUR
HE was home.
Ever since the night she had visited Hal in hospital Karen had been suffering varying degrees of mental and emotional anguish. The justice or injustice of her position as David's single parent was a dilemma she could not resolve. And now Hal had come after her. He had arrived in Sydney this morning.
It had been in the afternoon newspapers. Owen had told Karen it would be this week, so it wasn't as if she hadn't been prepared. She had had two months to get herself prepared for Hal's homecoming, but the photograph in the newspaper had badly jolted her. The hard, unsmiling face had seemed to look straight at her with accusing eyes.
Those eyes were still haunting her, hours later. She had carried out her normal routine as if nothing abnormal was going on, but the knowledge of Hal's presence in Sydney was a heavy weight on her heart. With David safely tucked in bed for the night she could relax the tight control she had held on her emotions.
She wanted to cry, but she knew that would serve no purpose. The newspaper article had mentioned that Hal would be interviewed on television tonight and it was almost time for the current affairs programme which was to feature the interview. She had to watch it. There might be something ... words, expressions, a mental attitude ... some indication of his intentions.