My sunshine.
Lucy makes a strange noise so I quickly glance at her. “Just as I suspected. You look at him the exact same way.”
“I do?” Not sure the question is needed since that’s exactly how I feel. Having her confirmation makes the possibility of love an absolute reality that’s sinking deep into me.
Her hand gently squeezes me.
“Why are you still standing here with me? Shouldn’t you go over there or something? Pretty sure he’s not getting closer.”
I’m trapped by his stormy-sky eyes and a ball of desperation grows in my chest. Stupid me, I should already be wrapped around him, reassuring him that everything’s all right.
“Go get your guy,” Lucy murmurs before giving me a little shove. Before I can say anything else, she hops down the stairs and strolls off toward campus.
I bite my lip while trying to swallow the fizzing nerves suddenly rising in my throat. There’s no reason for worry but Lucy’s words have slipped a new awareness into my inexperienced brain. What I share with Ryker is serious.
My steps are slow as I approach him, never taking my eyes off his somber expression. Worry lines are etched around his tense features and purple smudges sit under his ocean eyes. When I stop in front of him, my body automatically sways closer as his magnetic aura draws me in. His rich woodsy essence surrounds me and I resist the urge to rub against him.
“Hi you,” I whisper while nudging his foot.
Ryker clears his throat while glancing away. “Hey, Lennon. Don’t you wanna walk with Lucy?”
I jolt slightly at his desolate tone. “I want to walk with you, like we planned. Is that all right?”
His light eyes flash to mine before darting away again.
“That’s what I want,” he mutters as his shoulders slump. The shift jostles the paper bag in his hand.
“Is that for me?”
Color returns to Ryker’s face as a vibrant blush explodes. He holds the coffee and bagel higher and I eagerly take them. As my fingers wrap around the cup, I notice the yellow note attached to the side.
I peek at him from under my lashes before reading his message.
Yesterday was the best day of my life.
Emotion stings my eyes and I blink quickly to keep tears from falling. A soft sniffle escapes me, despite my best efforts.
“Lennon? Are you upset with me?” The crack in his voice squeezes my heart painfully.
I wildly shake my head and step into his rigid form, trapping the treasured gifts between us.
“No. Never. You’re so impossibly sweet and making me so happy.”
My neck clenches with the weepy wail. Ryker loops his arms around my waist while setting his cheek against my crown, forming a protective cocoon around me.
“Why are you crying?” His deep timbre weaves into me.
“I don’t know,” I blubber. “You’re here, waiting for me. Then you looked so distraught when Lucy showed up. I’ve been on such a high and seeing you upset tore me up. Then, your note with the breakfast. You’re so perfect.”
My tears are flowing in earnest now, soaking into his cotton shirt. My belly flutters when Ryker rubs a soothing hand up and down my back. My face heats as I attempt to snuggle closer without smashing the coffee cup.
Ryker hums before murmuring, “I’m far from perfect.”
I try reining in the emotion pouring out and suck in several hearty breaths.
“We’ll work on you accepting compliments,” I say while blowing out a heavy sigh. “Can I ask why Lucy’s presence bothered you so much? Everything seemed all right until she walked out the door. You’ve been near her before . . . well, before I found out who you were.”
He shrugs against me before his body deflates from a heavy exhale.
“I guess she was a harsh reminder,” Ryker starts slowly. “I’m alone but you have other people in your life. I forgot that it isn’t just us.”
I tilt my head to look at him and my chest tightens at the hollowness shining in his eyes. There’s so much sadness radiating off him.
“What about your parents?”
Ryker scoffs as his gaze drifts away.
“They couldn’t wait to get rid of me. We never spoke to each other, even when I was young. They always considered me a nuisance, an unsolvable problem. Not that they tried very hard.” His hold around me strengthens as he grumbles through clenched teeth. “I never told them I was leaving but they’d never bother looking anyway.”
Burning anger blasts through my veins at the mention of such neglect. I can’t imagine what he’s been through. I gulp the fury down before straightening my spine.
“Well, you have me.” My tone echoes the certainty flowing through me.
“Do I really?” His question seizes my pulse.
I nod while wiggling away to set the stuff in my hands down. When I stand and face him again, our fingers lace together and rest between us. My light eyes laser into his. “Of course. Ryker, never doubt that. Don’t you remember yesterday?”
“I never forget anything you say. Each moment is a cherished memory.” His lush lips brush my forehead as he squeezes our palms together.
My knees wobble as the swoon-factor slams into me and my gut cues the swarming butterflies. “That right there? Wow. You know just what to say and most certainly have me. And the only other person I have is Lucy . . . and my parents, I guess. They don’t really count though because I keep my distance or they’ll suck me back in.” I cringe, feeling guilty for pushing away their smothering love. “In a few weeks, Lucy is leaving for the entire summer so it will just be us . . . all alone. If you want me gone, you’ll have to fight me off.”
Ryker yanks me impossibly closer.
“That will never happen. I will always want you.” The growl in his voice has tendrils of desire spreading through me and I almost choke from the sudden onslaught.
I manage to force my swollen tongue to function.
“Good. Problem solved then. Wanna sit down while I eat before walking me to class?” I gesture to a nearby bench along the sidewalk.
He nods before scooping up my breakfast and leads us down the path, managing to keep my left hand connected to his right.
“Who’s Seek?” Ryker asks as he lowers down on the creaky wood.
I stumble onto the seat as my cheeks blaze.
“Um, you.” I dip my chin and turn away slightly while muttering, “That was the name I came up with before I knew who you were.” My eyes slam shut as embarrassment washes over me. Why couldn’t Lucy keep her big mouth shut?
“You gave me a nickname?” His octave rises above his typical baritone. From the corner of my eye, I notice his face turning red too.
I bite my lip and twist back toward him.
“Yeah, but it seems silly now. Seek popped in my head one day while I was searching for you, like the game. You hide in the background and I seek you out.” My jerky hands unwrap the bagel as a distraction from my rambling thoughts. I take a massive bite and immediately regret it when my eyes lift to his potent stare.
“Didn’t know we were playing that. Not sure I’ve ever done that before. Was I good at it?” His gaze flares with something I can’t distinguish.
I nod with a mouth full of bagel before reaching for my coffee. The liquid is luke-warm but still tastes delicious as it hits my tongue. Ryker’s thumb swipes at the corner of my mouth, cleaning me up, then he sucks the dab of cream cheese off his finger. My blood pressure spikes as my startled gaze spears into him. My brain activity screeches to a halt and sticks onto one central thought.
I want to know what he tastes like.
Time for my idea.
I clear my throat before diving in.
“Speaking of firsts, Ryker.” I take a deep breath for courage. “I haven’t done a lot of cool stuff because my parents kept me very sheltered growing up. Everyday has been the same, over and over, like I’m stuck on the carousel. Go to class, work in the studio, eat at the cafe, watch the same shows at home, then go to bed only to wake up and repeat. The routine is stale and can be recited in my sleep, like that movie Groundhog Day.” My shoulders lift as I chuckle lightly. “There’s so much out there that I’ve been meaning to discover. Some of the stuff is random and some is everyday type things. Like bowling. Who hasn’t done that by twenty-two?”
Ryker offers a sheepish shrug and my gut confirms, once again, he’s the one I’ve been waiting for. I reach for his hand resting on the bench between us.
“Exactly. You and me. So, I want to experience everything for the first time . . . with you.”
His gulp is audible.
“I want that too. So much.” Ryker’s hoarse rasp scrapes along my heated skin.
“Great,” I murmur into the shrinking space between us. “I’m glad we’re on the same page. Should we start tonight? With an official first date? I’ve never had one.”
He nods robotically as he glances between my eyes and mouth. My heartbeat booms in my ears as the possibility of rejection screams at me. The decision has already been made.
Fuck it.
When my lips lightly brush along his, Ryker startles with a gasp. I pull away and assess his wide eyes wildly scanning my face.
“What's wrong?” I whisper after backing up even further.