“I think I just want to be myself. It seems a lot easier.”
I smile, knowing that would be my little girl’s answer. She’s always been authentic and true to herself and I love that about her.
“If Blue calls tonight, can I talk to him? I want to tell him how much I loved his voice and his song. And I want to make sure he’s not sad.”
If he does call, it will probably be after midnight, but she’s so proud of him and excited to have seen him play live that I can’t say no to her.
“I’m not sure if he’s going to call since it’s late, but tomorrow’s Saturday so if you want to sit in bed and read or watch television for a while in case he calls really late, then you can.”
She jumps off the couch to kiss me goodnight, then races to her room. She and Blue have an adorable bond and I hope it keeps getting stronger as she gets older. I know the teen years can be hard but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn’t go through a rebellious or ‘I hate my parents’ phase.
While I wait up hoping Blue calls, I sit in bed reading a wedding magazine with four others piled next to me. These magazines are a rabbit hole of magical dreams. Pages upon pages of gorgeous flowing dresses, colorful bouquets, hair and makeup to die for. And cakes. Oh wow, the multi-tiered cakes that have intricate lace icing and candy pearls. I want everything. Blue said I could have anything and everything for our wedding. Honestly, I just want me and him and Lyric, in cool clothes, on a beach or in Vegas or in a gazebo in a park. That’s all I need to be happy. This other stuff is fun to look at, but I don’t need all this extravagance.
I’m starting to nod off and dropping the magazine every five minutes when he calls.
“Hi, handsome,” I say into the phone. “You were incredible tonight. Was that a new song?”
“Yeah. It’s the first time we’ve played it live.”
“I loved it. And Lyric was just in awe watching you play on TV. She was glued to the screen.”
“She really liked it?”
“Hon, I wish you could’ve seen her face. She really wanted to talk to you but I checked on her a few minutes ago and she’s asleep. It’s three a.m. here, so she’s exhausted.”
“Shit. I couldn’t get away from everyone. I can never get away from everyone, Piper.” Exhaustion weaves through his voice like a vine.
“Don’t worry, she understands. It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I want to talk to her again.”
“You can try tomorrow. We’ll be here.”
He’s silent on the other end of the line.
A few more seconds tick by.
And then a few more.
“Blue?”
Nothing.
Did he fall asleep?
“Are you there?”
“Hm?”
A familiar faint clink of metal vaults memories of Acorn to the forefront of my mind and heart. It’s almost as if he’s right here in the room, resting his head on my leg. But he’s not. It’s his name and rabies tags jingling together on his collar that must still be wound around Blue’s wrist.
I swallow down the immense sadness that came with the unexpected memories.
“Are you all right? You just kinda stopped talking.”
“I’m just tired.”
“Is your head hurting again?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you at Koler’s house now?”
“Yeah. I’m in my room.”
“You should try to get some sleep. Did you eat?” I’m turning into a level-ten mom but I don’t care. I worry about him when he gets like this and I wish I could morph myself through the phone line and take care of him.
“I’m not hungry. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Especially after seeing you on TV. You looked exceptionally hot tonight,” I tease in a flirty voice, hoping to make him smile.
“Did you see me smile at you?”
“I did. Thank you for that. It made me all woozy inside.”
“I’m gonna go lie down. Love you, Ladybug. So much.”
His words seep right into my soul. Every time he tells me he loves me it feels like the first time. My heart still races, my insides still tingle with butterflies, he still takes my breath away.
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
“I can’t believe you made a raspberry danish.” I take the plate from Ditra and set it in the middle of my kitchen table. “Were you really bored, or was this a dare of some sort? Did you lose a bet? I need a backstory for this danish before I eat it.”
“We were at Billy’s parents’ house the other night and his mom was going on and on about how much he loves danish and how she used to make it for him when he was little and how we have to keep a man fed and give them babies to make them happy and I seriously just wanted to smack her but instead I went home and found a recipe for danish because this chick right here is never having a baby. I’ll give that man all the danishes he wants, though.”
“That seems fair to me.” I pour boiling water into two cups with tea bags waiting in them and carry them over to the table where she’s sitting.
“I thought so. I made two so I could give one to you and Lyric because that’s the neighborly thing to do.”
“I never bring you food.”
“Because you’re not a good neighbor, Piper,” she says with a playful smirk. “But you are a great best friend. Didn’t you take me on a shopping spree last week and clean my entire house when I had the flu?”
Archie enters the room and flops on a sliver of sunbeam shining on the floor.
“I can’t believe that cat is still alive. How old is he?”
“I think around sixteen.”
“Damn. How long do cats live for?”
I cut two pieces from her danish ring and put them on plates for us.
“At least sixteen years, apparently.”
“He’s almost old enough to drive. Think about that.”
“His age doesn’t matter since he wouldn’t be able to see over the dashboard or reach the pedals.” I take a bite of the danish and I’m pleasantly surprised. “Dee, this is delicious. Did Billy like it? Was it as good as his mom’s?”
She nods. “He loved it. He even called his mom and told her it was better than hers. She probably hates me.”
I cut another piece. “I definitely hate you right now. I’ll eat this entire thing and gain ten pounds.”
“You could eat twenty of these and not gain a pound.”
I wish. Since I lost the baby I’ve had bouts of anxiousness and depression and I’ve been soothing myself by eating chocolate and ice cream.
My cell phone rings and I get up to grab it from the counter, licking raspberry puree off my fingers on the way.
“Hello?” I say, hoping it’s Blue since I didn’t get to talk to him yesterday. All I can hear is heavy breathing and gasping on the other end of the call.
“Hello?” I repeat.
“Piper.”
“Reece?” His voice is barely recognizable. I can’t tell if he’s laughing, crying, or choking. “Are you okay?” My chest is already rising and falling fast with anxiety. It’s five a.m. where the band is. Nothing could possibly be okay with a phone call this early in the morning.
Especially when it’s Blue’s best friend calling me.
Ditra flashes me a look of concern.
“Blue’s fucked up...you need to get out here.”
My stomach twists up into an immediate knot of fear. “Wh-what?”
“He’s hurt really bad.” He coughs and gasps again. “I don’t know what the fuck he was doing...I don’t fucking know....”
“What do you mean he’s hurt?” A few seconds ago I was afraid he might be drunk or high again, but that one little word now has my body trembling with bone-chilling terror.
“He fell off the roof....”
“What?” My voice comes out in a shriek and Ditra jumps up to stand next to me. “What the hell are you talking about? What roof? How?” My head is spinning with a thousand questions and worries and insane gory visions and my gut is wrenching with nausea.
“I don’t know, Piper. Everything is chaos here right now. Police and news and everyone’s freaking the fuck out.” He takes a deep breath. “I just know it’s really bad and you should be here.”
The dam of shock breaks and uncontrollable sobs rip through me. “Is he all right?” I ask with desperation. “He’s going to be okay, right?”
Please say yes. Please say yes.
“It’s bad.” His voice pitches. “I’m sorry… but it’s really fuckin’ bad.”
Crumbling to the floor, I drop the phone, and bury my face in my hands. This can’t be happening. There must be some kind of mistake and Reece will take back everything he just said. Blue can’t be hurt—it’s just not possible. Blue’s never been hurt before. And why would he be on a roof? It doesn’t make any sense. Blue walks and sleeps—he doesn’t climb up on things. I can’t lose him. Lyric can’t lose him. Not when we’re so close to the happiness we all want and have been waiting so long to have.