“I watched you, too, you know. Way before I beat that kid up. I remember you always looked down at your shoes. You had these little pink converses. I used to wait for you to look up because your eyes were pretty. That was the game. Seeing if I could get you to look up but not get busted. I would toss pebbles near you or make noises. Try to get your attention without you knowing I was trying to get your attention. Because I liked when you looked up. When you looked around at the world.” Ronin angled his head back and pulled the edge of his beard out of the way. There was a long red scar there. “Leon tried to slit my throat. I fought like hell, and he didn’t get the job done before Damon showed up. Beaston was stitching me up on our way to the Furers. I thought I would surely die before we got where we were going, but he told me he was a Gray Back, and Gray Backs could stitch up anything.” She reached up and drew her finger down the scar, but Ronin grabbed her hand and his eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t you ever let a man hit you again, Em. You hear me? You’re a fuckin’ lioness. A Tarian lioness. I don’t care if you’re submissive. If a man hurts you?” His face twisted with fury. “You hurt them back.”
Before she could change her mind, Emerald slid her arms around his waist and squeezed. Ronin froze, and every muscle went tense under her embrace. She could’ve been hugging a boulder. She didn’t care, though. What did she have to lose? She had three hours before she returned to Hell. “Thank you for that day on the playground. I always remembered you. Even when I thought you were dead, you were remembered. I used memories of you to remind myself there were good people in the world.”
Ronin softened and slipped his hands gently around her, pulling her against him like she was fragile. “Oh, Em. You’ve been mistaken. I’m not good. But I will make sure you’re okay.”
“It won’t be okay if you’re the one to take me back to Cassius. I want to go alone.”
“Not a chance in he—”
“This is my choice. I choose to go back.”
“You choose him?”
Heart banging against her sternum, she croaked out, “Yes.”
“Lie. There was no truth in that answer at all. I’m going to ask you that again before today is done, and next time I want the truth.”
“I thought you died once,” she whispered. “It was awful, and I mourned a boy I barely knew. And now I care more. You’ve showed me kindness twice now. On the playground and last night. And for some reason, it means a lot. I really feel it. I want you to live.”
“Sweet Kitty,” Ronin said low. “I’m not the boy I once was.” And that wasn’t a lie. His voice was scary-steady when he uttered that promise. “You want to go back, I’ll take you back.” His face changed suddenly, and a snarl ripped out of him, his entire body clenching as he tore his gaze away from hers and stared at the wall across the room. He was hugging her so tight, her back popped a few times. Felt kinda good, but he murmured “sorry” in a low and gritty voice. “We have three hours until we need to head that way. Let’s take a break.”
“A break from what?”
He dragged fiery green-gold eyes with small pupils back to her. Hello, lion. “A break from both of our lives.” When his gaze dipped to her lips, she thought he would kiss her.
Do it.
He smelled so good, and his power had enveloped them in a little bubble of safety. All of her chaotic emotions overwhelmed her and made her desperate to get lost in his strength for a second. To not feel like crying, worrying, or mourning for a moment. To not think at all. And Ronin could give that to her with a kiss, consequences be damned.
Be bold.
Three hours, and she would disappear again. She would be a ghost, living from one second to the next with no purpose. But here and now, she could be alive. She counted to three as she searched his face and then brushed her fingertips down his beard. He rolled his eyes closed and huffed a breath, then opened his eyes to watch her again.
Take a chance.
Because when else would she have this opportunity? Emerald stretched her neck up slightly, but just when she was inches from his lips, he touched the injured side of her face gently and shook his head.
His eyes swam with some dark emotion she didn’t understand. “You don’t belong to me. Not like this.” And then he dropped his head and clamped his teeth gently on her neck. She froze there under the intimate touch, shocked, turned on…devoted to this moment with him. It was the only bite she would ever really want, and for the rest of her life, she would hold this memory. The one where she wished for a life that wasn’t in her stars.
Ronin released her skin, released her from his arms, released her completely. Just…let her go. He stood and left the room. “I’ll meet you outside.”
And for the second time today, the closing of the door felt symbolic, not just physical.
Emerald had never been more confused by a man in her entire life.
He was a study of opposites.
Moral compass but a killer.
Kidnapper but counting down the hours until he took her back.
Affectionate but left as soon as she got close.
I’m not the boy I once was.
No, he was not. And what was she? The exact same. Submissive, helpless to a bully on the playground and in need of a hero. But now it was on a bigger scale. Helpless to Cassius’s bullying, she needed Ronin to save her.
What would she learn about herself, good and bad, if she was put in a position where she had to stand alone?
The grit in her wanted to know. She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but she was going to escape Ronin to keep him safe, and she was going to face Cassius on her own.
And fuck that contract.
She didn’t have a plan, but she was going to figure out a way to get her dad out of there. To get them both out of there.
No man would ever hurt her again. No man had that right. In shock, she had taken it from Cassius, and the shame still heated her cheeks. But Ronin had gritted out a reminder. She was a Tarian lioness, and he was right. It didn’t matter if she was submissive; she was still valuable. She was still a person. She’d hated the Tarians for so long, but those words had filled her with the ghost of a feeling she’d never thought she would associate with her history—pride. She remembered those Tarian lionesses of her childhood. Warriors. Hunters. So the Old Tarian Pride had been replacing those badasses with the easily breakable. Fuck the males for their weakness. She remembered what she could be.
The image of the hate twisting Ronin’s face flashed through her mind. You them him back.
A big piece of her wanted him to be proud of her.
Deep inside of her, the lioness perked up her ears and paid attention.
“Did you hear that?” Emerald asked her lion softly. “He called you Sweet Kitty. Stop being sweet. You have teeth.”
Chapter Seven
Ronin shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be spending extra time with Emerald. He should be distancing himself and handling the million chores he had on his plate today.
But if he was going to do this, if he was going to go after Cassius one-on-one, he needed to let himself feel for Emerald. He needed her to fuel his fury.
Fuck taking her back. Cassius had plans. Probably ambush. He would probably have his Pride attack before Ronin and Emerald even reached their territory. That’s what Alphas with no honor did. Ronin was okay with it because he was ready. Mentally, he was prepared. The war had been dragging too long, both sides putting off annihilation, but he wasn’t here to tiptoe around this. He was here to change the ending of the Tarian story. It’s why he’d agreed to come back in the first place.
The day the council had been killed, Zeke, Alpha of the tiger shifter clan called the Furers, and Ronin’s adoptive father, had pulled him into a Crew meeting.
“It’s time,” he’d said. “You’ve been trained. You’re ready to take a Pride. Go take back the one that tried to end you. I see it in you, that anger. It’ll never go away until you get your revenge. You want revenge? Go poison that Pride from the inside out with our ways. Poison them with honor.”
The Challenge Gray had given Kannon was in full swing. Their lions were Changed and brawling in the middle of a loose circle with the Pride looking on and cheering for favorites. It was loud, but that was just fine with Ronin.
Ronin knelt in the snow and blew out a long, frozen breath, rubbed his cold hands together. His lion always felt better outside, but he still hadn’t adjusted to the cold again. The Furers were down in Louisiana where it stayed relatively warm. He’d forgotten just how frigid winters could be in Colorado.
It was taking Emerald a long time to put a jacket on. Perhaps she’d decided not to come out here. Maybe he’d scared her with that little bite on her neck. Hell, he understood. He’d scared himself with it. He’d tried to back away from the kiss, but his lion had taken over and laid his teeth possessively on her neck, teasing her with a claiming mark.
He was losing his damn mind around her.
Maybe he really did need to find a mate.
Maybe not one like Emerald, who would be broken by what was happening between the Tarian Prides.
A snarl rattled up his throat. She isn’t fragile.
Shut up, Lion.