“For the next two hours and fifteen minutes, you can tell me anything. And then we have work to do.”
She didn’t understand that last part. Running her hands through his hair, scratching his scalp slightly with her nails, she said, “I know we barely know each other. I have what I learned about you as a cub and what I’ve learned about you in the last day, but that’s all. But inside, I feel happy when you touch me, look at me, or when I think of you. And I’m going to hold onto these three hours for always, just so you know. It’ll be a good memory, like when you protected me here on this playground. If this was a different world, I would let myself have a crush on you, and want you to take me to a movie. And kiss me. And sleep beside me. And for us to learn every single thing about each other, good and bad.”
A growl rattled his throat and Ronin backed away. “Rules, Em.”
“You won’t hurt me if I break them.” Not like Cassius.
The woods spun slowly around them. The merry-go-round was easy at turning, and the wind kept them moving. He stared off into the world, turning around them, while they sat still. “The Pride is finding me a mate.”
Oh, what those words did to her heart. They physically hurt. “Why?”
“Because we need allies. And a pairing secures them.”
She blinked hard and stared at the paper bag of food. “Okay.”
She gritted her teeth against jealousy because she had no right to it. Instead, she forced a smile and began to remove the wrapped sandwiches from the bag.
“Just okay?” he asked.
“It’s fine. I have no right to have any feelings about who you pair up with.” A wave of bitter envy washed through her, and a snarl rattled her throat. Emerald gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry. My lioness doesn’t to that.”
“She doesn’t growl?”
“No. Never. Not even when I Change. She just crawls around on her belly and cowers a lot. She doesn’t even hiss!”
Another growl tickled her chest. Oh, dear goodness, this was mortifying. She rambled, “The one time I need to be an emotionless girl, and the animal does this.”
“An emotionless girl? That’s not you.”
“Yes it is!” Okay, she was panicking. “I think you should take your jacket back.”
Ronin canted his head and narrowed his eyes, and why was he smiling? “You like me.”
“No. No, no, no, you are just a boy. From my childhood. Whom I can’t have a crush on.” Walls up, woman! “Who I thought kindly of, but I’m promised to someone else—”
“Who’s an abusive asshole.”
“And you’re promised to someone else—”
“Not yet. Not technically. The Pride is just looking at applications.”
Emerald’s mouth flopped open and she scoffed. “Oh, you’re going to let them choose who you end up with for the rest of your life? That’s great. I hope she’s super duper nice—”
“Yeah, that’s what I told them. Except without the ‘super duper’ added in there,” he murmured, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. Oh yeah, he was definitely starting to figure out she was turning into a lunatic!
“Don’t invite me to your wedding,” she demanded sarcastically.
“Oh…my…God.”
“Why are you smiling like that?” she shrieked like a psychopath.
“Because this is fuckin’ awesome. Keep going. Jealousy looks hot on you.”
She meant to flip him off, but her hands got stuck in her jacket pockets. “I don’t need this—this—”
“Insanity?”
“Stop. Smiling!” she yelped, struggling to exit the merry-go-round. She fell. Yep. She totally busted it, slipped on the metal edge, and went down hard in the snow. And how did she react? She didn’t. She laid there in the snow looking up at the sky like a frozen starfish.
Ronin’s stupid, sexy, grinning face appeared over her. “Sooo…do you want to bone now, or…?”
“This isn’t funny,” she muttered, covering her burning cheeks. “You turned me into a crazy person.”
“Good dick’ll do that.”
“Ronin,” she snarled.
“It’s good. Trust me.”
Emerald bit her bottom lip hard to hide her smile because this man did not need encouragement. She grabbed a handful of snow beside her and blasted it up into his face. He was laughing as he shook the frozen stuff out of his hair. Laughing!
“Oh, yeah, this is hilarious. You’re gonna pair up with someone you’ve never met and I’m marrying the dude who split my lip first meeting, so laugh it up, Chuckles! Our lives are so entertaining.”
“I mean…it’s a little funny, Sweet Kitty.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m changing. I’m mean and terrifying now. I growled. Listen! I’m still growling.”
He hopped off the merry-go-round and landed right beside her in the snow. “All I hear is purring.”
“It’s not a purr. You make me furious. I’m growling.”
His eyes sparked goldish-green. “I could make you purr.”
“Eeep!” Emerald covered her face with her hands to hide from him. “Dirty.”
“Not me. I’m a gentleman.”
“I’m pretty sure gentlemen don’t bite a girl’s neck the first time they meet them.”
Ronin tugged her hand away from her face and pulled her to her feet so fast her stomach dipped like she was on a roller coaster. Whoa.
“Make a fist.”
“What?”
“Come on.” Ronin held his clenched hands up to his face and said it again. “Make a fist.”
“I’m not going to fight you.”
“You will fight someone at some point, Em. I want you to know how to throw a punch.”
“But…I’m not a fighter.”
He raised his eyebrows in warning and shook his head. “Wrong attitude.”
Emerald clenched her hands at her sides. She did this. She got embarrassed around men like Ronin. Strong, to-the-point, dominant, confident men. Sometimes they swallowed up everything that made Emerald…Emerald.
“You’re blushing. Why? Anger?” he asked.
“No.” She clenched her teeth and held up her fists. “I get shy. And I don’t like making mistakes.”
“Tuck your thumb, and hold that hand a little closer to your face. Cassius is right-handed. Protect that left side a little more.”
“How do you know he’s right-handed?” she asked making the adjustments.
He reached forward and tucked her thumbs around her fists better. “The left side of your face looked like hamburger until an hour ago. That’s his dominant hand.”
“Oh.” Emerald frowned. “I should’ve known that.”
Ronin threw a fake jab. “Good. You dodged it.”
“It’s not very gentlemanly to throw punches at a girl who just got hurt less than a day ago.”
“This life moves on, Em. Learn that fast. What happened yesterday is the past. Learn from it but don’t let it stunt you.” When he took another jab, she blocked him. “Good. Now punch my hands. Put force behind each hit. I want you confident before you see any of the Old Tarian Pride again.”
She swung, and her knuckles made contact with his open palm. The sound of it reminded her of last night when Ronin had been beating that man who’d hurt Rose. “You don’t like when men hurt women, do you?” she asked, hitting him again.
“No. It feeds a fire in me.” He showed her how to put her weight behind a swing and told her, “Harder.”
She pelted him for a few minutes, careful to mind his instructions because he was giving her a gift. If he couldn’t be around to make her safe, he was giving her a little weapon. A way to defend herself when her lioness wouldn’t. Good man.
He spun her and wrapped his hand around her throat. “If anyone grabs you from behind,” he rattled into her ear, “you throw an elbow straight back.” He drew her arm straight back, showing her. “If your lioness won’t help you in a fight, don’t Change, find a weapon, fight dirty. I don’t give a fuck about honor if you’re being attacked.” He spun her back and gripped the back of her hair, easing her face back gently. “Protect your throat at all costs.”
Those words echoed over and over in her head. Protect your throat at all costs. She wasn’t invisible to Ronin. He cared. Even when she wasn’t around, she had a feeling he would still care.
She lifted up on her toes suddenly and pressed her lips against his. It happened fast. Just a little smack, and she lowered back down, just as shocked as Ronin looked.
“Why did you do that?” Ronin looked so stunned. Powerful legs splayed, eyes fierce, hair mussed, a foreground for the snowy winter woods. He took up so much more space than a man should. He was everywhere.
“I…I’m sorry.”
He shook his head slowly. “Don’t ever apologize unless you do something wrong.”
“But I thought—”
Ronin closed the two feet of space between them and gripped the back of her neck as his lips crashed onto hers. She should’ve felt trapped, but she didn’t. Instead, she felt enveloped, warm, and steady. The slight pressure of his mouth on hers erased the rest of the world. In this moment, only she and Ronin existed. There was no fear, no problems to solve, nothing. There was just the taste and the feel of his body. Getting lost in him, she slid her hands up his stomach, over the mounds of his abs, to his stone-hard chest. Every part of his body was tense except for his lips. Those moved against hers smoothly. Up, up she slid her hands, memorizing his body through the material of his sweater. Ronin grabbed her hand suddenly and dragged it to the hem of his pants, under his shirt, and then pressed her palm against his stomach. He moaned against her lips as she drew a small circle with her thumb on his warm skin, right over his belt buckle.