My eyes flew to Suzette. “What is this?”
She glowed. “I figure you’re going to be the virgin bride, dressed all in white, but the moment Q takes it off—he’ll find his esclave again. Don’t you want to wear it for him?”
I picked up the boned corset, inspecting the intricate sparrows stitched into the leather. Tears pricked my eyes again at the direct symbolism that I was one of Q’s birds. The only one who stayed for him.
My heart winged thinking of tonight. I couldn’t wait to have him in bed again.
“It’s beyond beautiful. But won’t it show under the dress?”
Suzette shook her head. “No. Leave all the worrying to me. It’s time to get you ready. We don’t have much time.” Shoving the gown from my shoulders, she demanded, “Strip. I need to add concealer to any bruises you still have and dress you in an outfit that’ll make any master hard.”
“Your body is mine. Your pain is mine.” Q’s voice cut through my thoughts. What would he do when he saw the lingerie? Would he cut it off or leave it?
Apprehension filled me. What if the sight triggered Q’s darkness? What if he won’t wait any longer? My back tensed, very aware of his innuendoes and veiled promises. Q would expect more from me tonight. It was our wedding night—he wanted to claim something he hadn’t claimed before.
I swallowed hard. It was irrational to be so afraid, but I was. Nerves tripled my heartbeat.
Suzette didn’t notice my silence. “I see the way he looks at you, Tess. He won’t be able to contain himself.”
I laughed. Q containing himself? Never. He operated with passion and rage and dark energy. There would be no containing him—or denying what he wanted.
But he’s hurt.
My eyes widened. I didn’t need to be afraid of tonight. There was no way Q would be up for our usual sex. He was injured. I breathed a sigh of relief. “I doubt he’ll be reacting all that much, Suzette. He’s not exactly in a condition to attack me.”
Suzette unthreaded the corset. Her eyes glinted with the same deviousness as before. “Whatever you say.”
What the hell is that? My spine stiffened, sensing a hidden agenda. “What are you up to, Suzette?”
Her lips spread into a wicked smile. “You’ll see. It’s a surprise—for both of you.” Twirling me around, she pressed the warm leather corset against my middle. “The first part is my gift to you. The second…” her voice trailed off. Her fingers tugged on the velvet stays, lacing me inside.
“The second…” I prompted.
Her voice was far away, seeing things I didn’t know. “The second part is for him. Purely for him.”
Goosebumps spread over my skin. The thoughts I’d had of a traditional wedding, complete with rose petals and ring bearers, suddenly seemed like a fantastical illusion. Q had put Suzette in charge. He’d put a woman who’d lived with him for years, who’d lived through horror, in charge of a romantic event.
Did she even know the meaning of romance? Had the word been beaten and raped out of her leaving her tainted toward fairy-tales?
Trust her. Let her do this.
Expelling a shaky breath, I whispered, “If it’s for him then I’m sure it will be amazing and he’ll love it.”
A minute ticked past, silence heavy between us. She finished securing my corset, then hugged me fiercely. “Thank you for trusting me and not asking questions.”
“Thank you for organising my wedding.”
We shared a smile. I didn’t care what she’d planned. In a few short hours, I would be Mrs. Mercer and nothing could ruin my happiness.
“Come on. Let’s finish. Can’t have Q waiting.” Suzette passed me the stockings.
“You know him better than that, Suzette. He’d be down here dragging me over his shoulder if I’m a minute late.”
Suzette laughed. “In that case—we better hurry.”
The rest of the time flew—beautifying me for my nuptials.
My stomach rolled. I’m going to be sick.
My lungs stuck together. I can’t breathe.
My heart galloped. I’m getting married.
Music drifted across the island, dipping and lilting with the Seychelles breeze. I strained to hear more—to count how many guests would witness my union to Q—to envision the type of ceremony Suzette had put together.
Heading to a wedding that I hadn’t planned or had any idea of what would happen twisted my stomach, but excitement existed, too.
I’m really doing this. I’m about to get married.
Sparrows, finches, and doves lived in my ribcage, trapped tightly beneath a corset etched with their fellow kin. Their wings made me float across the patio next to the seahorse pool all the while tickling me with nervous feathers.
I looked down at the white dress cocooning my body. Suzette had been elevated to goddess in my mind. She’d transformed me from lacklustre girl to flawless mannequin.
The dress was a mixture of lace and silk and taffeta—all in different shades of white. My right shoulder was bare. My left shoulder was adorned with a white rosette draping down the front of the bodice with exquisite lace.
My h*ps flared with a see-through organza train, the fabric whispering over the heaviness of silk. The elegance was perfect, the craftsmanship superb. And Suzette was right. Not one sign of the leather corset or lingerie I wore was visible.
The only thing ruining the virgin image was the black sprig of feathers in my hair, glittering with onyx gems.
Suzette beamed, holding my face in her hands. “You look incredible.”
A staff member held a mirror for me to check any last minute issues. I took one last disbelieving glimpse. My eyes were globes of grey serenity, highlighted with silver eye-shadow. My lips were a blood-red, glistening as if I’d turned vampire and favoured the remnants of my last meal.
I’d never looked so pretty and for a moment sadness fell over me. My parents would never see me marry the man of my dreams—my friends would never witness my transformation from girl to woman.
It doesn’t matter. None of this is for them. It’s for him. For me.
Patting my hair one last time, I said, “Thank you so much, Suzette. I would never have been able to pull this together.” Even the red lipstick, which I thought clashed to begin with, worked. Instead of cheapening the pureness of my attire it added a pop of dramatic—a flare of danger.
She stepped to my side, looping an arm through mine. “I’m so glad you’re happy. That’s all I wanted.” Her body tensed. “Um…I haven’t asked this yet—and feel free to say no—but…I want to walk you down the aisle.” Her eyes flickered with reckless hope, tangled with already felt rejection. “If you’d prefer a man, Frederick is here, and he said he’d gladly give you away to his best friend.” She looked away, hiding the pain in her face, fully expecting me to choose Fred over her.