Sam had no reply.
I put the bread down, picked up my fork and stabbed at my salad, saying, “Maybe, when Luci gets here, we’ll ask her and she’ll want to join us. Would that be okay with you?”
Sam again made no reply.
Since I asked him a direct question, I turned my head to him then stopped dead at what I saw.
He wasn’t eating. He was sitting back in his chair, forearms on the arms of the chair, hands dangling, eyes on me, face hard.
I’d never seen him look like that, ever. I’d seen him pissed. I’d even seen him angry.
But I’d never seen him like that.
“Sam?” I whispered.
“Yeah Kia, remember me?”
I blinked, set my fork down and straightened away from my food.
“Sorry?”
“Just to remind you, sweetheart, I’m the man who f**ked you four times last night, twice today.”
Oh my God.
Did he just say that?
My eyes darted side to side at the busy tables around us then I leaned into him and hissed, “What on earth?”
“Good question,” he returned.
“What?”
“Not likin’ the wall, Kia.”
I felt my brows snap together and I repeated, “What?”
He leaned into me and it took everything I had not to rear back at the look on his face and he clipped, “Think I explained last night and I did it, incidentally, after I f**ked you during which you came twice, somethin’ by your reaction at the time and after, he never gave you, Kia, my guess, not once, further evidence of what I explained last night and that is I am not that ass**le.”
“I know that,” I snapped.
“You f**kin’ do not,” he shot back. “I f**ked up earlier, pissed you off, maybe hurt you, I don’t know if it’s one, the other or both and I don’t know because you slammed up the wall to hold me back so I have no clue. What I do know is, you aren’t talkin’ about it to me, workin’ it out with me. I also know you’re sittin’ next to me but you’re so far away, I can’t reach you.”
“Sam, I said it was okay,” I reminded him.
“You lied.”
I sucked in breath and sat back.
Sam’s hand darted out, caught me behind the neck, pulled me back to him and I sucked in another breath, this one a whole lot different and I watched his eyes flare dangerously.
“Oh no, f**k no,” he whispered angrily. “First, do not pull away from me when we’re talkin’, especially when it’s about something important and second, again, do not f**kin’ mistake me for him. I’m not gonna hurt you, I want to talk to you.”
“Maybe you can do it without getting physical,” I suggested acidly and went on just as acidly, “Or without being a jerk.”
“Yeah? I asked earlier and you shut me down. Walked here with you, ordered, got served, started eatin’ and you shut me out. So I’m tryin’ other options to see if I can break through.”
My heart was beating wildly but right then my throat clogged with fear and this was not fear of Sam but a sudden, overpowering fear I was f**king up.
“I’m new to this, Sam,” I whispered. “To something being…” I paused to find a word then finished, “healthy.”
“Yeah? Well, let me clue you in, sweetheart. Shit happens, we talk it out. You do not shut me out.”
I stared into his glittering, no less angry eyes.
And there it was. I was f**king up.
“Buongiorno!” We heard called and I tore my eyes from Sam who dropped his hand from my neck and I watched Luci approach, she was fiddling with her purse, head down and talking. “I know I’m early but I’m also hungry and I like this restaurant. I’ll get some pasta, eat quickly and then,” she looked up, “shopping!”
Then she stopped dead and stared at us, her lips parting and her eyes darting between us.
Clearly, neither Sam nor I were doing a good job hiding the fact that she’d interrupted an intense conversation.
Then she muttered, “But, I think, I must go and…” she looked around her, “do something first. I’ll be back in –”
“No, that’s okay,” I said quickly, suddenly finding my body pushing back my chair. “Sit. Eat. I, um… we’ll…” I stopped talking, eyes glued to Luci, I surged up, panic controlling my movements, I grabbed my purse and whispered, “I suddenly don’t feel so well. I need to go back to the hotel and lie down. Enjoy shopping.”
Then I took off, dashing through the tables like the fraught heroine in a romantic comedy.
Enjoy shopping?
Ohmigod!
I was a nut. I was an idiot. I was a loser.
And I totally could not do this with Sam.
I wasn’t going to bore him away.
I was going to annoy him away.
God, he was so pissed.
And he couldn’t have sex with me without wearing a condom in case he caught something from me.
Something Cooter might have given me.
Before last night, I had one lover and still, he’d tainted me.
And if the tests didn’t come back clean…
I closed my eyes and nearly ran up the sidewalk, going as fast as my sandals would take me, my breath coming heavy and not from rushing, from holding back emotion. I didn’t know whether to cry, scream or find something to throw because I was so f**king angry.
At myself.
But especially at Cooter.
I slid through the doors to the hotel, raced up the stairs, pulling my key out of my bag as I went.
I was standing at my door, making my second attempt to slide the key in the lock when an iron arm clamped around me.
I choked back my surprised cry, twisted my neck and looked up to see Sam’s hard jaw, a muscle ticking in his cheek, the key was pulled from my hand, Sam inserted it and then we were in my room.
I tried to escape, pulling free from his arm but he caught me, twisting me on the way back so the front of my body hit his, his arm went back around me tight but his other hand slid into my hair, holding my head steady so I was right there when his face got in mine.
I expected him to blow, my body braced and I winced, preparing for it.
But when his voice came, it was soft, gentle but still velvet rough.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I stopped wincing and looked into his eyes.
Then I told him the truth.
“You don’t need this drama.”
“Kia –”
I cut him off. “Luci doesn’t either.”
And she didn’t. Neither of them did.