I was at the Tate Modern museum the day before when I met him. We struck up a conversation. He heard my accent, I told him I was in London for a few weeks, he told me he’d lived in London for thirty-three years and then he suggested we should meet for coffee so he could tell me what to see that tourists didn’t normally see. Before I knew what was happening, we had plans to meet for coffee the next day.
I wanted to stand him up. But when I told Celeste about it, she encouraged me to go. Then she told Thomas and he encouraged me to go. Since it was Celeste and Thomas, they were wise, they cared about me and I cared about them, I really couldn’t say no.
And anyway, I didn’t have the strength left to fight them on it so there I was, going.
When I got to the area he told me the café was, I got a little lost. I was about to give up (and, truthfully, I didn’t try very hard before deciding to give up) when I saw the café.
Damn.
Right. Whatever. It was just a cup of coffee with a guy I met at a museum. And anyway, I wanted to see the London not many tourists got to see. Even Celeste and Thomas hadn’t been living there long enough to show that to me.
I moved inside and as I did, that feeling came back that I had eyes on me. I looked over my shoulder and again saw nothing but rushing Londoners and clueless-looking tourists.
What was up with me?
I shook it off, turned into the café and saw him.
Then it hit me I didn’t remember his name.
Shit.
Was it Jason? Jacob? Jeremy?
Shit!
He smiled at me, rising from his seat.
Shit.
Okay, just do this.
I smiled back and moved through the café. When I got there, he surprised me by rounding the table then getting in my space. Not way in my space but more than a fifteen minute conversation in front of a totally weird installation in an internationally known museum should allow. His hand came to my waist, his head bent in and his lips swept my cheek.
It was then I felt a burning intensity that was totally, totally weird. Like two laser beams were searing with pinpoint precision in my back.
I pulled away, moved back instantly, turned and glanced through the busy café.
Nothing.
Seriously, what was the matter with me?
I looked back at Jason/Jacob/Jeremy. That lip sweep was not a cheek touch or even a lip touch. It was more.
I saw the warmth in his eyes as he murmured, “Kia.”
Oh hell, he thought this was a date.
Shit!
“Uh… hi,” I replied then made a decision. “I… you…” Damn. What did I say? “Well, I’m so sorry but I’d agreed to meet you without talking to my friend, Celeste. She made plans for us this afternoon and I don’t have much time. You and I didn’t exchange numbers so I couldn’t call you and I didn’t want you sitting here, waiting for me and not knowing what had become of me. I’m so sorry but I only have a few minutes to have a cup of coffee with you. I hope you don’t mind.”
Jason/Jacob/Jeremy minded; I could see it in the flash of irritation in his eyes.
Whatever.
I didn’t have enough energy for Jason/Jacob/Jeremy’s irritation either.
“I’ll just run and get a latte,” I told him then, as he was opening his mouth probably to be a gentleman and offer to buy one for me which would make this friendly meeting into a semi-kinda-date, I dashed to the counter, stood in line and bought a small latte.
Then I went back to the table and quizzed him about what I should see in London. This lasted fifteen minutes. Several times, he attempted to ask questions about me or steer us in other directions but I kept him on target. I also sucked back my latte as fast as I could.
After the final sip, I quickly and rudely stood, announcing, “I know this is rude and thank you for giving your time to me. I really appreciate it. But I have to go. I’m so sorry.”
Then I stuck my hand at him, his head jerked to the side then he stood, disappointment on his face, and his hand closed around mine.
This kind of sucked. Standing there, his warm hand in mine, I noticed his grip was strong. I also noticed he was cute. Blond. A couple of inches taller than me. Nice eyes that were very blue. He dressed well in a layered, have to be ready for anything London type of way. He was nice as far as I could tell. And he was into me.
I just couldn’t go there. Not now. Not for awhile. Hopefully someday but at that moment or in any moment the last month, I wasn’t feeling good about that possibility.
And it was then that I got what Luci said about Gordo. Sam ruined me. The problem was, Sam was still breathing so I figured it was going to be just as hard as it was for Luci to move on. Maybe harder.
Jason/Jacob/Jeremy regained my attention by saying, “It was nice to meet you, Kia.”
He got the message. He didn’t ask for my number. He didn’t ask to meet again. He knew he wasn’t getting anywhere.
I debated telling him that the most beautiful, wonderful, sweet, loyal, fabulous man in the world broke my heart just a month ago so he would get it wasn’t him, it was me.
But I decided I probably couldn’t do that without bursting into tears so I figured I should just save him time and get the heck out of there.
“Thank you for having a cup of coffee with me. Take care,” I whispered.
Then I smiled. Then I pulled my hand from his warm grasp.
Then I got the hell out of there.
Luckily, it still wasn’t raining. Nevertheless, I rushed back to Celeste and Thomas’s. It was only a ten minute walk but I didn’t want to get caught in the rain. The wet seemed to hang in the air, waiting, threatening. It could happen any minute.
But also, Celeste and Thomas were away for the day, doing something with the team Thomas oversaw at work and their spouses. So I had the house to myself. I wasn’t good with being alone, alone made my heart hurt (more) and the thoughts that invaded when I was alone made my head hurt (more) but I was in the mood. I might even call Luci. We had only chatted briefly a couple of times because Luci got just as angry at Sam as Skip was when I called her from Indiana to tell her what was going on and I wasn’t in a place to deal with that. Now, maybe, I was strong enough to tell her I wasn’t and she could fill me in on what was happening with her.
That would be good. Take my mind off things.
I left the busy sidewalks, moved through the less busy residential section and the feeling came back that someone was watching me. No, it was more than that. It felt like someone was following me. I looked again but couldn’t see anything. Then I wondered if I should look at all. If some weird person was following me, maybe I shouldn’t let on that I knew they were there.