We were being ridiculous like two teenagers in love-because that’s exactly what we were. The ridiculous part wasn’t how we stood around grazing hands when no one was looking or how we watched one another hoping no one would take notice. Because we couldn’t be two carefree teenagers in love was the senseless part of it all.
I wasn’t in Calculus long before it was time for second period with Claire. I was strangely neurotic about being in class with her today. Things felt so different and strangely unsettled although we both agreed we were saying goodbye to anything between us other than friends.
For the first time, we met one another on the way to class. Claire instinctively reached to loop her arm through mine and sent my heart to galloping. A second later, she remembered why she shouldn’t and pulled it away, causing me to be saddened. It was awkward to have been so intimately close in my truck only a half hour ago and now unable to touch physically.
We were only in Humanities a couple of minutes when Mrs. Tanner announced we would be spending our class time in the library today. We walked silently to the library, both of us wondering what the other thought about going to our private table toward the back of the library. We stopped to look at one another as our classmates dispersed without the least little thought about their choice of table.
Claire became quite aware I wasn’t going to make a move and said, “Do we go with tradition or is today the day we choose a new table?
The safer thing to do was choose a table in the middle of all the other students, but I wasn’t feeling like I wanted to share Claire today. I wanted her at the back of the library where it was just the two of us. “I think today has already been filled with enough surprises, so why don’t we stick to what we’re used to? I think we do great work without all the distractions.”
She smiled because she liked the sound of that and said, “I couldn’t agree more.”
We sat at the table and she leaned forward to get something out of her backpack. I watched the way her hair fell forward slowly, forming a curtain that hid her face. It reminded of when I laid under her on my bed and it fell forward, brushing my face and bare chest.
She raised up and saw me watching her. She smiled and asked, “What are you thinking about?”
I knew I shouldn’t because it would only stir trouble, but I was powerless to stop myself from telling her. “I was watching the way your hair fell as you leaned over your backpack and it reminded me of the way it looked when you were on top on me-how it all came rushing toward me and fell against my face and chest. I was remembering the way it tickled and sent fiery tingles all over my body.”
“Just hearing you say that sends tingles all over my body right now,” she confessed, then looked at me so sadly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought it and I shouldn’t have said it. We can’t say things like that anymore if we’re only friends,”I apologized. Who were we kidding? This wasn’t as easy as we might have thought.
“We might be able to control saying it, but I don’t think we can control thinking it. At least, I know I can’t,” she said as she thumbed through the binder she had pulled from her backpack.
“So, we’re keeping our thoughts to ourselves?” I asked.
“I guess that’s our only option if this friend thing is going to work.”
We did a fair job of finishing Mrs. Tanner’s assignment after our agreement if you didn’t consider the endless thoughts of Claire running through my mind or the numerous accidental grazes of our hands.
Third period was a little more friend friendly since we didn’t sit together and Claire had Payton to occupy her. I tried to force myself to not look her way, but I gave in a few times. Each time I did, she was looking straight ahead listening to Mr. Buckley and I wondered if she was finding this easier than me. The fourth time I stole a glance at her, she turned to look at me and I felt satisfaction in discovering her desire to look at me as well.
The rest of the day seemed to go a little smoother as we felt our way through just being friends. It was strange really. We didn’t get to experiment with being friends before we jumped head first into a romantic relationship because we were too busy arguing and blowing off the steam from our intense sexual attraction for each other, so it was nice to see Claire on an entirely different level.
As I walked to the field house to change out for practice, Coach called out for me from his office. He never did that, so it caught me a little off guard and had me wondering what was up.
I walked to the doorway of his office and stood, waiting for an invitation inside. “Come in, Jessie. Shut the door behind you and have a seat.”
After shutting the door, I walked over to the chair and sat after putting my backpack on the floor. This type of interaction always made me nervous because it usually meant something was wrong or I was in trouble.
“I have some great news for you. I got a call from Doug Stanton today. Do you know who that is?”
Yeah, I knew who Doug Stanton was. Anybody who followed college football at all knew he was the long term coach at State. “Yes, sir, I do.”
“He’s interested in you, son. He’s heard about you and wants to come watch you play. It’s awful early in the season for anyone to be contacting me about you, but I think he wants to get a jumpstart on you before anyone else has the chance. He’s coming next week.”
My heart raced and I realized the first thing I wanted to do was tell Claire, my friend. ”Wow, Coach. State would be my first choice.” It wasn’t far from my brothers and they had an incredibly successful record with Stanton as their coach.
“This is it, Jessie. This is the beginning of the rest of your football career. This is how you get noticed by the pros,” he said. “You’ve got the kind of talent for that whether you’ve thought about it or not.”
I might have that kind of talent, but I had not considered playing professionally because I never expected to be discovered playing for Collinsville. “I don’t want anyone on the team to know, Coach.”
“Why not?” he asked.
I decided I would tell him the why, but not the who. “They won’t all be happy about this and I don’t want to give anybody a reason to try to take me out before the game.”
“You don’t have to say another a word. You’ve been a real team player by not mentioning it before, but I know exactly who you mean and I’ve been keeping an eye on Forbes Henderson since the day you had to ride off the field in an ambulance. I’ve been his coach for four years and I know him well. He doesn’t have me fooled. Now, let’s get out there and do some practicing so you’ll be ready to bring your best for Stanton.”