Rule number nine: say or do whatever’s necessary to sell it. “I’ve wanted you since I realized you took the photograph of me from my flat.”
He stops kissing my throat and looks at my eyes. “How long have you known?”
“I noticed it missing right after your first visit inside my flat.”
He’s smiling so he must like my answer. “Then that means you’ve wanted me for a while.”
“What did you do with it?” I ask.
“It’s on my desk in my office.” Liar. I don’t believe that for a second, but I’m not calling him out on it. Things are going too well.
“Good.” I entwine my fingers in his hair and pull his face closer so our lips brush.
He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and lightly tugs before releasing it. “I don’t kiss.”
That’s not true. I recall several times he’s kissed me.
I skim my fingertips over his lips. “I beg to differ.”
He shakes his head. “What I mean is that I don’t kiss other women. This compromise is only for you.”
“Never?”
“No, never.”
Hmm … He’s quite good at it. “Why am I the exception?”
“You asked me to make love to you. I can’t imagine doing that without kissing.” Good answer.
“Whatever the reason, it pleases me.”
“I haven’t even begun to please you.” He moves his hand around and down to touch me between my thighs. I involuntarily jerk because my body is hypersensitive. “Someone’s jumpy.”
“I’m feeling a little extra responsive right now.” God, did that sound stupid? Yes. I think it did.
“I like responsive, but your body is too tense. Relax and breathe. I want you to enjoy this.”
I do as he says. I inhale deeply through my nose and then blow it out slowly through my mouth.
“Keep breathing in deeply and then out slowly. In and then out,” he says as he slips his fingers inside me. I tense again but he reminds me, “Don’t forget to relax and breathe.” He moves his fingers in and out in a torturously slow motion.
I grind against his hand because it’s not enough. I want more of what he’s doing. As though he reads my mind, he moves his fingers faster but this time adding another one—his thumb, rubbing my clit.
I’ve never had penetrative intercourse with a man but I’m not ignorant to the act or how one achieves an orgasm. I’ve simply never had anyone else do it for me.
But he’s about to, and soon.
My eyes are squeezed shut, my mouth open and panting as I grind against his hand. “Look at me. I want to see your eyes when you orgasm.”
I open and look at him. “Why?”
“Watching you come apart is my reward for making it happen.” He smiles.
My panting increases. “Omigod.” Here it is. “Ohhh … ”
It feels like rhythmic contraction squeezing low in my pelvis. Warm bliss spreads throughout my body and pulsates through my limbs down to the tips of my fingers and toes.
“Fire, meet gasoline.” He kisses me quickly. “You have a beautiful come face.”
He rolls away and reaches into the nightstand drawer to take out a condom. He tears it open and I watch him roll it on because I’ve never seen a man do that … at least not in real life and certainly not so he could use it on me. It’s enthralling. And stimulating in a way I never imagined.
Sin rolls on top of me, his body nestling between my legs.
I’ve known real-life monsters existed since I was seven years old so I thought nothing in this world had the power to ever scare me again. That clearly isn’t true because I’m terrified.
I’m giving my body—and a piece of myself—to this man. We are about to join and become one. This is far beyond the physical act I expected. I’m handing over a part of … my soul. I didn’t know being with him would feel like this.
I can’t recall ever wanting anything so much in all my life, but I’m simultaneously fighting an urge to push him off so I can run.
I don’t have long to fear the unknown because he enters me in one fluid motion and I feel a ripping pain when he pushes through my virginity. He has no idea I’ve never done this, so his first thrust isn’t gentle. The tearing is sudden and sharp and unexpected. I grasp the sheet beneath me and twist it violently.
I thought I’d be able to hold my response inside but I can’t. My gasp is loud. I turn my head to the side and cover my face with the fisted sheet so he can’t see the pain there.
He goes completely still. “Did you feel that?”
Umm … hell yeah, I felt my hymen being shredded into pieces. “Yeah.”
“What is it?”
This is it—the part where I either instill a desire for him to want to keep me to himself … or he freaks the fuck out. “My virginity.”
“Virginity? What the hell are you talking about?”
I look at him quizzically. “I don’t want to talk right now.” I reach for the back of his neck and pull him down for a kiss. “I’d much rather finish what you started.”
He pulls away so he can see my face. “A virgin?”
“Yes.”
He’s shaking his head, as if to make sense of the whole thing. “What was all that bullshit about demanding I pleasure you?”
“It’s not bullshit. It all stands, and right now I demand that you properly fuck me.” The pain has subsided while he’s been busy trying to carry on a conversation, so I rock my hips against him. I’m ready for this now. “Don’t tell me you don’t like the way this feels because I know I do.”
He growls when he pushes my legs back and starts rocking back and forth inside me. “Oh, fuck, you’re so wee. And wet.”
I can’t lie. I like hearing him say those things. I want to be the best he’s ever had. It ensures he’ll keep me around longer. “Am I worth the work and the wait?”
“Hell.” He thrusts between words. “Yes.”
“I told you when it’s good, it’s very good.”
“It’s pure magic,” he groans. “The best ever.”
I smile against his neck. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.
Giving him my virginity hasn’t been for nothing. Everything is going according to plan.
Chapter Ten
Sinclair Breckenridge
I’ve gotten off plenty over the last six years but I’ve missed sharing a bed with a woman. Having Bleu here with her bare, sweaty body pressed to mine while I move inside her feels amazing. I’ve been robbing this luxury of the recognition it deserves. It’s incredible and Bleu is the only woman I’m willing to risk this with. She has no ties to anyone in The Fellowship—or rival cartel. She’ll keep this to herself because she has nothing to gain and everything to lose by opening her mouth.