“How many people have you killed?”
She should know she can’t ask that. She’ll need to learn she isn’t privy to Fellowship information. “I’m not discussing that with you.”
“Why not?”
Is it not obvious? “Because you aren’t Fellowship.”
“But you’ve told me other things.”
“I’ve told you nothing of consequence. Admitting to murder is something entirely different. Don’t forget I’m a lawyer. I’m intelligent enough to avoid incriminating myself.”
“I don’t ask because I’m going to run to the authorities. I know you’d kill me if I did.”
“Aye. I would.”
Bleu understands how I operate, yet she’s still here. She isn’t afraid of what might happen. I choose to believe that’s because she isn’t planning to be anything but trustworthy.
If I were capable of having feelings for a woman, I think I’d have them for Bleu. It’s really too bad she’ll be leaving sooner rather than later. I think I could see this thing between us going somewhere if she stayed.
This conversation needs a new direction. “Did you enjoy lunch?”
“I did. Your father was very charming toward me considering I’m forbidden fruit.”
Of course there’s the issue of The Fellowship but it felt like my father was understanding of my liaison with Bleu. I guess he would be since he’s been there. “I feel good about Dad’s reaction. He seemed encouraging. That’s never happened with any woman.”
“Why would he not urge you to have a relationship? I would think he’d want you to eventually marry and have children.”
“I’m guessing they haven’t been pushing for it because I’m still in my traineeship. Once I’m finished, I expect them to press for a marriage. They’ll expect me to produce a son.” That doesn’t bring pleasant thoughts to mind.
“Then you may only have a few months of bachelorhood left. Do you have your eyes set on a lucky lady?”
“Not a one.”
“Will your father choose a wife for you if you won’t?”
“He might try, but I’d prefer to not marry at all if I have to live the way my parents did.” I lace my fingers through Bleu’s and squeeze. “I’m not attracted to weak women willing to give their bodies to men to get what they want. Most of The Fellowship women have been passed around by my brothers. I don’t want to wonder how many of them have fucked my wife.”
“I can see where that might be a turnoff.”
“Aye, a huge one. But I have a new favorite turn-on—a woman who’s only had me inside her.”
“I’m happy you’re pleased.” She gets up from the couch and tugs on my hands. “Come to the bedroom with me. We’ll see if I can please you again.”
* * *
The shifting of the bed wakes Bleu when I move to the edge to put on my prosthesis. I don’t usually apply it for a visit to the toilet but I’m not doing the naked hop in front of her.
She slides over and kisses my bare back. “Where do you think you’re going? It’s too early to get out of bed. ”
“The toilet.”
“Will you be coming back?”
It’s already later than I usually sleep—but it’s Saturday, so I don’t have work today. “Do you want me back in bed with you?”
“I do but you probably shouldn’t get any ideas about a morning shag. I fear my body is protesting your exploitation of it last night. I’m not feeling my best down there.”
I wasn’t rough with her at all since I suspected she could be sore. I’m surprised she’s having discomfort. “The condoms may be irritating you. They do that sometimes.” I turn on the lamp. “Let me have a peek.”
I push her onto her back and she clamps her thighs closed. “No way. You can forget that.”
“You may be having an allergic reaction.”
“I don’t need you to look at my stuff for me to be sure this kind of swelling isn’t normal.” Her face is pained as she wiggles. “What would you say if I told you I didn’t want to use condoms anymore?”
I’m clean. She’s clean, and infertile, so I guess it would be all right. We’ve sort of already been together without one anyway, if you count the first time when the rubber busted. “I guess it’s okay if you’re one hundred percent positive you won’t get pregnant.”
“I’ve been evaluated by more than one doctor and they all agree a pregnancy won’t happen without extensive—and expensive—medical intervention.”
I want to know what’s wrong with her.
I guess wrong probably isn’t the best term to choose. I wouldn’t want her to say something wasn’t right with me because I have an amputation. Infertility is a medical condition. It doesn’t define her, just as this steel blade attached below my knee doesn’t define me.
“I’m up for doing it bare if that’s what you want.”
“You’ve claimed me so I guess that negates the conversation about sexual monogamy.” She quickly looks up at me. “That is absolutely nonnegotiable. Understand?”
I can’t think of a lass I’d want after having her. “I told you I wouldn’t be with another woman.”
“I know that’s what you said, but this is serious—like catching a disease kind of serious—so I feel like I need to stress the importance. Can you solemnly promise me there’ll be no one else?”
I twist around so I can face her. I stroke my hand down her cheek before kissing her quickly. “Aye, I swear you’ll be the only one.”
I return from the toilet and remove my blade, the one I wear around the house, before getting back into bed. Bleu moves over to rest her head on my chest. She touches the inked pattern on the inside of my upper arm using her fingertips. “I love this pattern. What does it mean?”
“It’s a Celtic shield knot. It’s symbolic of protection.”
“I thought it might be some kind of love knot you got for a girl,” she giggles.
I’m pondering Bleu’s romantic notion when my phone rings. I reach for it on the nightstand but feel compelled to clear her notions about my tattoo. “I assure you it wasn’t inspired by romantic ideas such as that.”
It’s Abram. He never calls on the weekend so I’m guessing something has happened. Dammit. Whatever it is will tear me away from spending the day with Bleu. Another day is hijacked. “Aye.”