How had she gotten so lucky? She had someone sitting right before her eyes who cared for her so deeply. He just wanted her to be happy, because she was the one who made him happy. It was as clear to her then as if a film had been removed from her vision.
She was ashamed of her actions from last night. It was wrong for her to push Hayden into something based on her own f**ked-up feelings. Last night had not been the right time, and she was glad Hayden had stopped her, because she knew that she would have regretted it.
“Hey,” she whispered, her voice slightly hoarse.
Hayden replaced the poker and closed the screen before turning around. “Hey. Are you feeling better?” He looked cautious and she hated that.
“Much. Thank you for letting me sleep in.”
“No problem. I needed to go for a run anyway.”
To clear his head. That much was obvious.
“About last night . . .” she began awkwardly.
She knew she needed to say something to clear the air. She didn’t want him to be angry or confused, but she wasn’t sure what she could say that would help besides the truth about Brady, and actually she was pretty sure that would make it worse. The joking about “their politician” aside, Hayden had never liked Brady. He had always agreed with her early assessment of him, even after she changed her mind.
“It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything.”
She didn’t? “Oh.”
Hayden looked down at his hands and back up at her. “I’m not sure what happened last night. I wanted what you were offering . . . I still do, but I don’t want you to do it because you felt pressured by anything. I’m happy just to hold you every night. All I know is that I never want to see you cry like that again over something like this.”
He thought that she had been crying because she had felt pressured to move forward. Her mouth was hanging agape and she quickly closed it. Of course, the frustration of not having had sex with Hayden yet had been some of the drive, but most of it had been Brady f**king Maxwell. It was kind of ironic to think that thoughts of Brady had pressured her into sex with Hayden.
“Hayden,” she said, shaking her head. God, it wasn’t his fault. He shouldn’t share the blame in this. “It’s really my fault. Absolutely nothing to do with you. I was emotional last night and thought that sex was the right answer. I . . . God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She wanted to cry at the absurdity of the whole thing, but her tears had been used up last night. She needed to be strong for Hayden where she wasn’t before. She needed to realize how valuable he really was.
“It was stupid. I was stupid,” Liz said, splaying her hands flat before her.
She didn’t deserve him. It was something she knew in her gut, but she didn’t care. It might be selfish, but she wasn’t giving him up. This was the right relationship, the right direction for her life, and she had been so long looking over her shoulder that she hadn’t seen what was right in front of her.
“You’re not stupid.” Hayden walked forward and placed his hands firmly on her arms. “Look at me.” She did. “I would never date someone who was stupid. You’re brilliant and funny and headstrong and unbelievably gorgeous. Certainly not stupid,” he said soothingly.
Liz managed a smile as she stared up into his hazel eyes so filled with emotion. “You’re pretty wonderful. You know that, right?”
“I guess that means you’ll keep me?”
“I wasn’t planning on letting you go.”
“Good.” Hayden’s lips landed lightly on hers and she smiled into the kiss. The simplicity of being with Hayden compared to the complication of Brady was so starkly contrasting. Liz knew relationships were never easy. They took work, but with so few barriers barring her and Hayden’s way, it didn’t seem like work at all. The work was keeping Brady out, but after last night, Liz had a feeling things were going to get easier. It was over, long gone, and now he had found someone else.
The time had passed to get over it.
So she would.
They stayed like that until the chill started to seep into Liz and she forced Hayden to go take a shower. Then she curled up on the couch, snuggled in front of the fire, and promptly fell back asleep.
The smell of bacon woke Liz and she stared around groggily at the living room, forgetting for a moment how she had gotten there. When she reached the kitchen, Hayden greeted her with a kiss and a plate of food. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten dinner last night.
Shit! And Hayden had cooked dinner. Bad girlfriend 101.
She made up for it by devouring everything on her plate and downing a full glass of orange juice. It seemed she was dehydrated, and she poured herself another.
“So, how much work do you have to do today?” Liz asked, sipping on her second glass.
“No work today. I checked the weather. It’s supposed to snow again this afternoon and stick through Monday.”
Liz’s eyes opened wide. “No school Monday?”
Hayden laughed. “They won’t announce until Sunday night at the earliest, but we’re snowed in today. I think we should get dressed and go play.”
“You want me to freeze my ass off in the snow?”
“I like your ass. You’d better not do anything to it.”
“You’re the one who wants me to risk it in the cold.”
Hayden shook his head. “You really don’t do well with cold, do you?”
“Not at all.”
“We’ll layer you up. You can wear some of my ski gear.”
The exuberance on his face at the prospect of playing outside in the snow won her over. She wasn’t a fan, but she was sure it would be better to be out there freezing with him than inside refusing him something he clearly enjoyed.
So Liz threw on layer after layer of clothing, several pairs of socks under her boots, and then Hayden added gloves, a scarf, and an oversize beanie. She felt ridiculous, but she was practically sweating inside, so maybe it would do in the cold.
They walked out the back door and were hit with a bitter wind. Liz shivered despite the layers.
“My nose is cold,” she murmured under her breath.
Hayden heard and just laughed as he stomped out through the snow.
Liz surveyed Hayden’s backyard. It was small, since it was just a college house that dead-ended into a wooded lot. The surrounding houses had fences built around their backyards, so Hayden’s looked partially enclosed. Everything in sight had a layer of soft white snow on it. Hayden’s footprints were the only things that marred the picturesque view.