Suffice it to say, it did nothing for her bad mood.
“Oh my God, people cannot drive!” Liz said as soon as she walked into Hayden’s house.
“Hey, gorgeous!” Hayden rounded the corner with a big smile. “I made dinner.”
Liz sighed in frustration. She shouldn’t have been irritated that Hayden made dinner; it was just another part of his perfection. And when she looked at him, it did loosen some of the tension in her shoulders, but only marginally.
“Rough day?” he asked, seeing her frown.
She let every comeback she had to that die on her tongue. She was tired of thinking and overanalyzing every moment. She just wanted to get lost in emotion and sensation. Maybe some other time she could let her heart feel what her mind was telling her was stupid, but right now she just wanted to tamp it down and beat it into submission.
Without answering, she walked right up and pressed her lips to his. She wound her hands around his neck and reveled in the way their bodies melded together, the grip of his hands on her hips, the feel of his tongue massaging her own. It was too timid, too tentative. She wanted more, and she bit down on his bottom lip, sucking it between her teeth until she felt him urging her forward, asking for more.
“Bedroom,” she growled in between kisses.
Hayden pulled back and looked at her with newfound interest. His eyes roamed her body, hungry yet questioning. She was sure he was wondering where all of this was coming from, but if he was smart he wouldn’t open his mouth.
“Lizzie . . .”
“Now,” she said. When he didn’t move fast enough, she took his hand and directed him to the bedroom. He chuckled but followed behind her.
Hayden closed the door and she quickly started unbuttoning his shirt while she had him backed up against the wall. He let her slide the shirt to the ground and then she immediately reached for his belt buckle.
“Hey,” he said, taking her hand. “Slow down a bit.”
She shook her head and kissed him again, rocking him into the door. He grabbed her and pulled her backward. She practically launched herself at him, but he held her at arm’s length.
“There’s no rush. Kevin went home for the weekend. We have the house to ourselves.” He turned her around and moved her toward the bed, which she promptly crawled on and pulled him toward her.
She didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want him to keep holding them back as she had been holding them back. She didn’t want one more second to go by where she had to think about anything but him.
“Hayden,” she groaned, when he sat down on the bed next to her. “Come here.”
He leaned down and their lips locked all over again. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she tried to pull him down on top of her. She wanted to feel that passion and longing all over again . . . get lost in it. Why wouldn’t he just let loose and give her what she wanted?
His hand trailed down her side and pushed against the material of her sweater. She helped him, eagerly yanking the material over her head. God, she wanted this. But as soon as the shirt dropped to the floor, Hayden sat straight and just stared at her.
“Hayden, please,” she whispered, feeling vulnerable and exposed. He looked at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He looked at her as if he so desperately wanted to continue, but that he knew something was wrong.
“Lizzie,” he said softly then, stroking her wavy blond hair off of her face, “are you all right?”
“Yes, just kiss me,” she demanded, her chest rising and falling heavily.
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Are you sure you’re okay? Are you sure you’re ready?”
Liz bit her lip and closed her eyes. No. She wasn’t sure of anything. Even her sanity was questionable at this point.
Was it so wrong to want to forget? She didn’t understand why it all had to be so difficult. Brady had moved on. Why was she still struggling through this? It didn’t make sense and she wanted it to stop. She just wanted it all to stop.
Tears streamed down her cheeks before she could keep them from coming. Her whole body shook uncontrollably. She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling even more exposed than ever before. Hayden shouldn’t have to see her like this. He shouldn’t have to see her break down over something she could never even tell him about. It wasn’t fair to him. He was a good man. Perfect.
And she would never be perfect. She was just a woman still holding on to a man she had to give up, to a life she had to let go of, to a feeling that never seemed to leave her. Hayden deserved better than that. He deserved better than someone who had to hold back the truth just to keep going through her day. He deserved someone as perfect as himself.
He would never find that in Liz. He would only find a hollow vessel that had once given everything she had and then was left empty. He could fill in the cracks when she broke apart, but now, when she was completely wrecked, there was nothing he could do to fill the hole.
Then his arms came around her and pulled her sobbing body against his. He didn’t ask a single question. He didn’t try to tease out what was wrong with her. He just did the best possible thing he could do.
Hayden held her until her tears ran their course, and she fell into an exhausted slumber wrapped in his arms.
Chapter 8
SNOW DAY
Liz woke to an empty bed.
She stretched her fingers in all directions, a groan sticking in her throat as her body came to life. She was stiff everywhere from her cramped position in the bed, and her eyes burned from her tears.
But now that the tears were dried up, she felt . . . alive. Not healed. No, it was too early for that, but better. More like the wound had scabbed over; it was still tender, but she could go about her daily life again.
With a big sigh, she pushed the covers back and stepped out of the bed. Liz fumbled around in the dark for a lamp and then flicked it on. She dragged off her jeans from last night. When she found a pair of Hayden’s sweatpants, she quickly shimmied into them and then pulled a track hoodie over her head.
She padded out of the bedroom, but stopped at the first window. Her jaw dropped open. It was a winter wonderland. The ground, the driveway, the trees, the bushes—everything in sight was covered in perfectly white snow. The sun was rising high on the horizon, making the world shine brightly before her eyes. Liz wondered if the temperatures would let the snow hang on or if it would melt away by the afternoon.
She found Hayden stoking a fire to life in the living room fireplace. He had his back to her, so he couldn’t see the smile that appeared on her face when she found him still in track pants and a Dri-Fit long-sleeved T-shirt. His hair was damp, whether from the snow or from his early morning run, she wasn’t sure. But her heart contracted at the sight of him.