And then I heard a familiar deep voice, a voice that I literally felt from head to toe like the brush of velvet against my skin.
“Carson, don’t!”
I turned and saw Derek emerge from the woods to my right. I could tell he was trying to run to me, but it looked like he was moving through tar. With each step he struggled all the more to put one foot in front of the other.
Then Fahl appeared, looking just as he had that first night. His black hair danced around his head weightlessly in the light breeze and his black suit was as ill-fitting as ever. He looked like death. And rightly so. He’d come for me.
“A new deal means the other is broken,” he advised pleasantly, as if we were discussing the NASDAQ over coffee.
“I know, but Dad and Derek still go free, and my mother, too.”
“And you’ll reap for me in exchange?”
“Whatever you want, just let them go.”
With a smile that would’ve given the devil pause, Fahl whispered, “Done.”
As soon as the word left his thin lips, I heard my mother gasp, drawing in a huge breath. I turned toward her as she sputtered and coughed. I held out my hand to touch her, to make sure she was alright, but my fingers met with nothingness. She fell through the doorway, into the house and disappeared.
I stepped forward to follow, but the threshold sealed after she passed through, the barrier once more firmly in place. I leaned my head against the invisible wall and breathed a sigh of relief. Even though I wasn’t sure where she’d gone, I was comforted by the fact that she was no longer in any immediate danger of being suffocated or eaten.
Tears burned my eyes when I felt the air thicken at my back, my tormentors closing in around me once more. I turned, back pressed to the barrier this time, to face the gruesome dead head on. My fate was sealed and I was trapped, by my own design, forever. But it was my decision and I was going to go on my own terms. Fahl wasn’t going to get everything, tied up nice with a bow.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. As I exhaled, all my turbulent emotions drained out of me. There was no fear or heartache or regret or sense of loss, just acceptance, the sense that I’d done what needed to be done, that I’d made the necessary sacrifices to ensure the safety and wellbeing of my loved ones. Most of them anyway. Leah was a whole other matter. She’d already made her choice. She’d sealed her own fate.
I looked toward Derek. He was still trying to get to me, but the look on his face assured me that he knew there was nothing he could do. He looked crushed. He’d given up so much for me and now he was going to watch me die.
I smiled, hoping he would take comfort in my resolution, in my calm. “I think I’ll be brave for you,” I whispered and stepped forward to meet the fate I’d made for myself.
All at once, hands were all over me. They grabbed and pulled, their filthy nails tearing away at my flesh. And then, gasping in pain, I felt teeth at my wrist, sinking into the tender flesh there, already bleeding from my self-inflicted wound. I knew that I could fight back—I had the power—but I also knew that it was futile. I had to die in order to save the others. And I was going to go willingly, my way.
I gave myself up to the excruciating biting and tearing, ripping and gnawing of the group. Blood was pouring down my arms and dripping from my fingertips before I fell to my knees, my legs suddenly lacking the strength to support me.
Above their hungry groaning and vicious squabbling, I could hear the coarse crackle of my clothes ripping as they struggled to get through my jeans and sweater to the skin beneath. I could only imagine what they’d already done to my arms and chest.
I stayed upright as long as I could, but within minutes, the force of bodies pushing and hands pulling was too much for me to bear. When they maneuvered me to the ground, I knew I didn’t have much time left.
At that point I must’ve blacked out because I awakened some time later to the sensation that my insides were being torn from my body. Even if I had maintained the energy to raise my head and look down, I wouldn’t have. That was exactly what was happening, I was certain of it. I knew I was dying, but there was one last thing that I wanted to do.
Pushing past the pain that wracked every single nerve and fiber of my body, I cleared my throat. There was something I wanted say, out loud, and I wanted Fahl to hear it.
“God, I know you are up there and I just want you to thank you for sparing them. I wish I had believed in you sooner,” I said. Then, closing my eyes, I finished. “But I believe in you now.”
Suddenly, a blinding light penetrated my closed lids. I felt the warmth of it on my face, the brightness of it chasing away the pain and the worry and that haunting feeling that I was doomed. I felt my lips pull up into a peaceful smile. I knew right then that I’d made the right choices, done the right things…in the end.
Then, as if he was far away, I heard Fahl’s voice rise to a shrill pitch as he shouted, “You knew this would happen, didn’t you? You knew! She’s supposed to reap for me, for me!”
I turned my head toward his voice and cracked my lids the tiniest bit. Fahl stood in the midst of the dead, looking heavenward, shaking his fist angrily at the sky. And then it was as if I was drifting away from him, rising up into the brightness. I closed my eyes, content to float, and I heard, way off in the distance, Fahl scream, “Nooooooo!” And then there was nothing.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I didn’t know what to expect when I opened my eyes, so I didn’t. I didn’t know how long it had been since the last of the dead had given up on picking my bones clean or where I’d be “kept” once they were finished. I had no idea what I might look or feel like, if there would be pain or not. I was clueless and totally unprepared (as I suspected most people in my position were) so I reached out with all my senses to acclimate myself as much as possible before I added sight to the mix. Depending on what you’re seeing, vision can be terrifying.
I was lying on my back and there was something hard and cold beneath me. I was freezing and my fingers and toes had lost most of their feeling, though I could still wiggle them. I considered that a good sign.
I took a deep breath and analyzed the ambient smells. Fresh, cold air filled my lungs and, carried on it, a coppery tang that I wasn’t familiar with.
Next, I exhaled slowly and listened. Absolute silence. I waited for the sound of voices or movement or some sign of life and activity, but there was nothing. Though the Darkness was super quiet like that, I had imagined I would hear screams or something, some sign of everlasting torment. Of course, maybe I was confusing it with Hell. What did I know about the Darkness?