CHAPTER FORTY - Trick
I can hear the knocks in the transmission as I hit the gas pedal in the truck. I knew I’d need something to pull a trailer, but I didn’t want to shell out a bunch of cash for something nice at this point, so I bought a used truck that Rusty’s going to help me fix up. I just hope it’ll hold together until then.
I probably shouldn’t be bringing it out for trips like this. I probably shouldn’t be making trips like this at all. It’s not like I can really afford to unload so much for land right now anyway. But I like to look. It makes me feel a little more in control and a lot more optimistic. The only bad part is that I always picture a house where Cami and I will be living, one that will someday hold a couple kids and a dog. And who knows what else. Being the animal lover she is, Cami would probably be bringing home strays all the time.
The thought makes me smile.
But then I push it out of my head. There’s no point in thinking about a future with her. She’s made her choice. She hasn’t tried to contact me at all. And as much as I want to go see her, I know I can’t. I shouldn’t. I won’t. I have to respect her decision, no matter how much I hate it and how stupid I think she’s being. Maybe what it all boils down to is that she didn’t love me after all. Maybe she was just drunk and pulling one of those I-love-you-man kind of things.
I can still remember her face, though, and it didn’t seem like the drink talking. She seemed sincere. It felt sincere. But maybe that’s just because I wanted it to be sincere. Granted, at the time it freaked me out a little. It seemed too soon and too scary, especially when I was still under the idiotic impression that my attraction to her might be purely physical.
Jackass!
I thump the steering wheel. There’s nothing I can do about any of it now. I think that makes it even harder. I had my chance. And I blew it. Damn it! I blew it!
I see the sign for the road coming up and I slow to make the turn. As I navigate the many potholes in the gravel drive, I picture what it would look like paved with the trees overhead trimmed and arching over it.
The drive ends in a circular patch of grass and weeds. I shift into park and turn off the engine. I can hear nothing but nature on the other side of my open window.
Some months ago, someone had cleared the land for a home site, but the bank foreclosed before they could build. I can see their vision, though. In my head, I see a huge plantation-style house in solid white with big columns along the wraparound porch. I see Cami planting flowers along the walkway, even though I have no idea if she’s into that sort of thing. She just seems like she would be.
Cami’s all girl. And I love that about her. She’s at home in the saddle and she can wear a kick-ass hat and boots with the best of ‘em. But underneath, she’s all soft and feminine, silk and satin.
I think of her stripping in front of me the night we went swimming, of seeing those lacey little things she was wearing. I can still see her body with perfect clarity. And I can still remember exactly what it feels like under my hands, under my lips, under my body. It starts making me hard so I have to resituate in my seat and think about something else.
I get out and walk past the clearing and through the woods beyond it to the first of several fields on the property. I imagine what the stables would look like sitting at the edge, and the round pen and the fencing. I can see Cami and me exercising the one year-olds and stopping to go roll in the hay. Literally.
Shaking my head, I make my way back to the truck. If I’m ever gonna get over her, I have to stop picturing her in my life, as part of my future.
But damn, how do I do that?
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE - Cami
“It’s been almost two months, Cami. You can’t hide out forever. Come out with me. It’ll be fun. Just the two of us. We can go to Lucky’s and you can drown your sorrows in peace. I know for a fact they won’t be there.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I asked Rusty.”
“What happened to his restriction on not talking about us, about not getting involved?”
“I used some very powerful tools of persuasion. One of which nearly gave me whiplash.”
I have to laugh. “God, Jenna. You’re such a freak.”
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s part of my charm.”
And that’s probably very true.
“I don’t know. I just don’t feel like going out, especially there.”
“Look, Cami, it’s kind of like having a massive hangover. Sometimes the only thing that’ll take care of it is a little hair of the dog that bit you. Consider a trip to Lucky’s some hair. And it’s even highly likely that there will be quite a few dogs there, too. Just not the four-legged kind.”
“If that’s what you think, then why do you even want to go?”
“Well, I have Rusty, so I could care less what the guys look like, as long as they keep buying me drinks. The main thing is to get you out of the freakin’ house. I’m seriously afraid that you only shower once a week and that you haven’t shaved your pits in, like, a month.”
“Geez, Jenna. I’m not that pathetic. I shower twice a week.”
“Holy wow, I hope you’re kidding!”
I snicker. “Of course I’m kidding. How long have you known me?”
“Since Jesus was a baby.”
“And how many days in my entire life have I not bathed?”
“Two,” she says definitively.
“What?”
“I don’t know. I was guessing. Not that it matters. What matters is that you need some fun. And some drink. And some hair of dogs and crap like that. And as your best friend, it’s up to me to make sure you get it, even I have to force-feed it to you. You can either come quietly or I will have to start plotting. And you know how that usually turns out.”
“Yes. With someone missing their eyebrows.”
“Exactly, so just say you’ll come and save me the embarrassment.”
I sigh. “Fine. I’ll come. What time will you be here?”
“Nine. And wear something hot. Your confidence needs the boost.”
She hangs up and I’m left wondering how she knows that.
********
I slide back onto my barstool, pushing my hair away from my face. I wish I’d worn it up. Dancing makes me hot.
I signal the bartender for another beer just as Jenna settles in beside me.
“You’re not done already?”
“Just for a few minutes. I’m burning up.”