“I told you I’d find him.”
“Yeah, you did. Thanks, man.”
“I didn’t do it for you.”
“I know. He’d thank you if he was here.”
“I know,” I admit, closing my eyes. “I know.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN - Sloane
“So you’re not going back?” Sarah asks.
I sigh as I look out the window, watching the landscape fly by in a blur of color. “I don’t really want to.”
“Then don’t. Eff him!”
“I probably should, though. I mean, it is part of my schedule now. Since I had him fill out those damn papers.” I could still kick myself for that. “Plus, I don’t want him to think he can run me off that easy.”
“You think he was trying to run you off?”
“No, I don’t think he was trying to. I just think he lost interest when his whore came back.”
“Whore? Ouch! Watch the claws, baby.”
I grin over at Sarah. “What the hell are you talking about? That was mild.”
“I’m loving this new you! I’ve never seen you jealous before.”
“Probably because no one like Hemi has ever dared to get close to me before. The Locke men don’t make it easy on a guy trying to date me, ya know?”
“And the one guy who isn’t afraid of them…”
I sigh again. “I know. It sucks balls.”
Sarah giggles. “Yes, it sucks balls. But so do I, so maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”
I give Sarah a withering look. “I don’t need to know things like that, Sarah. Ever. Do you hear me?”
She gives me an exaggerated wink. “You should be taking notes, not criticizing my sharing decisions.”
“There’s no need. I’m not going to be in any position to use them any time soon. Not now.”
“Girl, you just need to put yourself out there more. Why don’t you volunteer for that art thing you were telling me about?”
I frown over at her, confused. “What ‘art thing’?”
“The nude thing. Didn’t you tell me your class was doing that as part of some kind of study on anatomy or whatever?”
“Yes, I did, but I’m not volunteering for that! Are you nuts?”
“No, I’m not nuts! I’m serious. This is just what you need to do. You talk about spreading your wings, well spread ‘em! This is something you would never have done before. But the new you…”
“The new me isn’t a synonym for the ‘stupid me’.”
“That’s not stupid. It’s brave. And it’s something outside your comfort zone, which is even more reason to do it. Maybe seeing others appreciate your body will give you a different perspective.”
“I don’t need a different perspective.”
“Yes, you do. That whore has shot your confidence all to shit. You were doing just fine until she came along. Now, all you need is a boost to get you back on top.”
“I can find other ways to get an ego boost. Ways that do not involve me stripping in front of an audience.”
“Well, it’s unfortunate that you feel that way, Sloane.”
“And why is that?” When Sarah doesn’t answer, I glance over at her. She’s visibly cringing. “Sarah? Why is that?”
“Because I had Triva sign you up for it.”
My jaw has become unhinged and now lies, unfettered, on the floorboard of Sarah’s truck. “You. Did. What?”
“Yep. I did. Sorry. I thought you’d be more agreeable to it.”
“If you thought that, you wouldn’t have gone behind my back to have Triva do it.”
“If it helps, you get five points toward your midterm for doing it. I didn’t even know that at the time, but that’s good, right?”
“Sarah…I…why in the world…”
I’m speechless. Just speechless.
“I’m doing you a favor, Sloane. Trust me.”
“I will never trust you again. Never.”
“Don’t say that. I love you! I only did this to help you.”
“Then please, for the love of God, don’t try to help me anymore.”
“Okay. This was it. No more help from me. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I mutter.
She says nothing and neither do I. Her promise will last all of about a week. Max. We both know she can’t help herself.
********
I can’t decide if victory is bittersweet, or if it’s defeat.
I talked to my instructor about the nude modeling. She wasn’t very sympathetic. I didn’t want to admit someone else had volunteered me, so all my excuses sounded lame. And she didn’t go for even one of them. So, it looks like I’m stuck taking off my clothes and sitting perfectly still in front of a hundred staring eyes on Friday night.
The victory slash defeat thing comes from the fact that it gets me out of going to The Ink Stain for at least one night. I was looking for an out. In a way. And now I have one. Even though it’s a humiliating one. But still…it’s an out.
I wait until it’s time for me to leave Thursday night before I even mention it to anyone at “work”. My purse is slung over my shoulder and I’m already at the doorway leading out into the lobby when I turn back and speak to Hemi. He’s on the other side of the room, cleaning up.
“Oh, I won’t be here tomorrow night, by the way. I’ve got a thing for school.”
Hemi’s forehead wrinkles into a frown. “A school thing? On a Friday night?”
“Yeah, it’s voluntary. Extra credit.”
It’s when Paul speaks up that things take a turn for the worse. “You’re not talking about the nude sketching for drawing anatomy, are you?”
“Uh, yeah. That’s the one.”
“I signed up for that,” he explains happily. “I take night classes and they gave ten seats to us. I signed up.” He looks back at Hemi and grins. “I mean, of course I signed up. We’ll be sketching a nude chick. Who wouldn’t want to spend their Friday evening like that?”
I laugh nervously, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.
“You wanna ride over together?” he offers.
“Um, no, I, uh, I have to be there early.”
“Early? For what?”
I say nothing, my face flaming at where this conversation is going. Not only am I going to have to strip down in front of a co-worker, but now Hemi’s going to know about it.