I try not to seem too interested, even though I am. “Three brothers? All cops? Wow! I bet that is rough. Tell me about them.”
“Sig is the youngest. He’s not as rigid as the other two. We’ve always been close and he’s not as hard on me as the others are. He’s only been out of police academy for about a year. Next is Scout. He’s kind of a split between both my parents, temperament-wise. He can be more understanding at times, but he isn’t always that way. And then there’s Steven. He’s the one you met the other night at Cuff’s. He’s a bear. Just like Dad. Those two would never let me out of the house if they had their way.”
“Is that why he was acting like such a prick? He didn’t like that you were there?”
“Yeah, I showed up without giving them any kind of warning. I wanted to make a point. And I did. Oh, boy, did I ever!”
“Seems like he didn’t take it very well.”
“Well, by the time I actually saw Steven, I’d had quite a bit to drink. It probably wasn’t the best timing.”
“Did you know he’d be there?”
“Yeah, my family frequents Cuff’s quite a bit.” She takes another sip of coffee and then frowns. “Speaking of Cuff’s, what were you doing there? That’s a cop bar, I thought.”
I school my features. “Do you realize the population of cops that have tattoos? They’re almost as bad as people in the military.”
“Oh,” she says, nodding. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”
I take a drink of my coffee, too. “So, what does your mother say about all the overprotective men?”
Sloane’s smile is sad and I immediately feel like I’ve stepped in a painful pile of shit. “She’d probably just roll her eyes if she knew. She died when I was seven years old.”
“God, Sloane, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. She lived a good life while she could. She had acute lymphoblastic leukemia. She had it first when she was just a little girl. She did great for a lot of years. Unfortunately, she had a relapse. And when it recurs in adulthood, the prognosis is usually bad. She relapsed when she was twenty-eight and died when she was thirty.”
“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry I brought it up.”
“Don’t be. Really. She was a wonderful mother. She never let it keep her from really living. She was determined to squeeze as much happiness out of life as she could. And she did.”
Ain’t that a kick to the nads?
I feel like such an ass for bringing it up. “I’m glad she did. Life is short. It’s up to us to make the most of it.”
“Exactly!” Sloane says emphatically. “That’s why I want to start living now. My dad and my brothers might not like it, but I’m an adult and they can’t keep me locked away in a pain-proof, mistake-proof, life-proof tower forever. They have to learn to let me go.”
Her words…oh God, her words!
“Sometimes it’s harder to let go than what you might think.”
Sloane looks at me over her coffee cup, her expression…odd. “I don’t doubt that it is, but it’s necessary. We have to move on. We have to live life. Just like those words on your side—‘Live, no regrets’.”
I nod, staring into the black liquid in my mug. Before either of us has to say anything else, the waitress comes with our food. I’ll ask her more about her family later. But right now, I think we both need a break.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Sloane
“Are you kidding me? That’s it? That’s all that happened?” Sarah asks me from the passenger seat. It’s my turn to drive to school this week and she’s starting Monday off with an inquisition that the KGB would be proud of.
“Yep.”
“Girl, we need to watch some p**n . You need help. A lot of help.”
“I don’t need to watch p**n , Sarah. And I don’t need help. He came right out and told me that he doesn’t usually like ‘innocent’ girls. He acts like he’s gonna ruin my life if he gets involved with me.”
“Then you need to convince him otherwise. With your shirt off. That always helps change a man’s mind.”
“Oh God, Sarah! You’re the one that needs help.”
“No, you need help. I told you that. I’m telling you, Sloane, you need for this guy to help you spread your…wings.” Her pause is intentional and when I look over at her, she’s grinning devilishly.
“You’re disgusting, you know that?”
“You wouldn’t think so if you’d go ahead and ditch that pesky virginity.”
“I’m trying! It’s not as easy as I thought it’d be.”
“It’s exactly as easy as you thought it’d be. You’re just losing your nerve.”
“But I’m not! Not at all. I want him. Really bad. But for some reason he’s determined not to give in to it. I don’t know what it is. It’s more than just my…inexperience. It’s like he wants to leave me alone, but can’t. And he resents it.” I think about my own words. “Well, maybe ‘resents’ isn’t the right word. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like he wants to be with me, but then he doesn’t. Like he feels like he should stay away from me, but then he doesn’t. It’s freaky.”
“And hot!” Sarah adds.
I grin over at her. “And it’s driving me crazy!”
“Oh, I bet. By the time you get him to get on that horse and ride, you’ll be ready to fall apart. But that can be a good thing, especially for your first time.”
I hate thinking about my first time, much less talking about it. I know all the details, all the mechanics and physiological aspects of it. I just want to get past all that painful, awkward shit and move on to the good stuff. Time’s a wastin’!
“Well, if there’s anybody I would bet big money on to make a girl’s first time pure heaven, it’d be Hemi.”
“And I want alllll the details. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“And hurry up about it. You’re a woman. Use all the tools God gave you and bring that boy to his knees.”
I sigh. “I’m trying.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just floating along, letting things ‘happen’. You can’t do that. You have to make things happen. Your way. In your time.”