I doubt he means for them to, but his words make me feel like…less. I turn my head to the side, away from his gaze. “It’s not like something I did on purpose,” I explain, trying not to sound defensive about my virginity.
“It’s not a bad thing. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s not a bad thing at all. I’m not exactly sure how you’ve managed it, but I’m actually kinda glad you’re a virgin.”
“Well, I didn’t really have much opportunity. With a father and brothers like mine, guys didn’t exactly feel comfortable pressing their luck. I guess they were all just a little too afraid of the Locke men.”
“Their loss is my gain then,” he says, pulling me into a sitting position, speaking softly in my ear as he rubs his cheek against mine. “Just know this, Sloane, I can’t walk away from you again. You need to be sure this is what you want. And that I’m the person you want it with.”
I lean back, meeting Hemi’s eyes, falling into the stormy blue depths. “I want this,” I admit simply.
“I may not be able to give you breakfasts and promises, but I can give you pleasure like you’ve never even dreamed of. That will have to be enough.”
“I don’t want promises. Most of the time, promises are just pretty lies. They’re words designed to make others feel better. But in the end, they’re still just lies. Disappointing lies,” I tell him in a moment of bald honesty. “So don’t worry about making me promises. I’d rather have your truth.”
For a moment, before he hides it from my view, I see a flash of regret. I’m not sure what it means, and I’m going to do my best not to focus on it. On anything that could take away from this special time. Whatever secrets Hemi has are his to keep and his to share. Just like mine are. We all have our reasons for hiding things. I, of all people, can’t deny someone else theirs.
“Then that’s what I’ll give you. The truth. Starting right now,” he says, taking my face in his hands. “I want you, Sloane. I want to do things to you, do things with you. I want to show you what it feels like to have someone worship your body. I want you to experience the pleasure a man should bring you, so you never settle for less. Just know that, while we’re together, you’re mine. All mine. No one else’s. Do you understand?” I nod. “Don’t get me wrong. I loved seeing this beautiful body in that pose, like the picture of innocence and sin, all wrapped up in smooth, creamy skin. But,” Hemi says, a frown wrinkling his brow, “I didn’t like other people getting to see you that way.”
“It’s not like I was doing anything with any of them. Or even that I knew any of them. Well, except Paul.” My cheeks sting just thinking about facing him again.
“I know. But I still didn’t like it.”
I won’t smile because that would be rude and inconsiderate. But I want to. On the inside, I’m smiling.
“You won’t be doing that again, will you?” he asks.
“God, no!”
I feel his breath fan my cheek when he exhales. “Good. I’d hate to have to come and throw a blanket over you, and drag you out of there.”
This time, I do smile. “And what makes you think that would be okay?”
“Because somebody just told me that while she’s mine, she’s only mine. And that includes looking. I’d hate to have to beat the shit out of a bunch of college pricks because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You’d do that?” I can’t deny the pleasure his words bring.
“Hell yeah I’d do that!”
“Well then, far be it for me to endanger the lives of others. I guess I’d better keep my clothes on.”
“Except when you’re with me. Instead of an ‘open door’ policy, I have a ‘clothing optional’ policy.”
“Does that go for all your employees?”
“No, just the hot students that look like angels and taste like candy.”
I nod, the thought crossing my mind that I could stare into his eyes forever and never get bored. I could listen to his voice right on and on, and never miss other sounds. For a while—however long that might be—I’m going to throw myself into Hemi. And, as long as I have after it’s over, I’ll never look back with regret.
I think of the drawing he had me pen onto his side, in the hotel room—forever ago, it seems—and I wonder who used to say that. I can’t help but think of Sasha. “What about you? Will you be all mine, too?”
“If you want me to be.”
“What about Sasha?”
Hemi frowns. “What about Sasha?”
“Aren’t you two…? I mean, didn’t you used to be a…thing?”
“We were. But we aren’t now. I’m just doing a favor for an old friend. Nothing more.”
“Does Sasha know that?”
“She should. But if she doesn’t, she’ll find out soon enough.”
“Is she, uh, is she the one that lives, no regrets?”
Again, I see something dart through Hemi’s expression, only to be gone in an instant. This time, it looks like pain. “No, it wasn’t Sasha.”
I pause, waiting for him to continue. Hoping he will. But knowing, somehow, that he won’t.
“Well, it’s a good motto. Maybe I’ll have to get that inked somewhere, too.”
“Maybe we can do each other,” he suggests with a wicked grin.
“I like the sound of that.”
“Somehow, I knew you would. Maybe I should add ‘devil’ to that description of you.”
“No, I think that’s better suited for you.”
Again, I see something odd flit through Hemi’s dark eyes. It’s gone as quickly as it came. I wonder, absently and with a growing sense of dread, how long I’ll be able to ignore it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Hemi
I’m still awake when Reese calls.
“Turns out there are a lot of people interested in this bastard. I don’t know how he’s kept his nose out of the shit for so long, but he has. That’s over now, though. I put a call into that friend of mine that works with the Georgia Attorney General’s office. It won’t be long until he’s in touch with the internal affairs guys there at the local level. I hope for his sake that this Locke ass**le hasn’t made many enemies along the way. If anyone else is as dirty as he is, and the word gets out, someone else is liable to clean up this mess. The permanent way.”