“Hey Asshat, I don't know what you're talking about—”
I bite back the slew of curse words I want to fling at her, and fist my hands in my hair to try to cool down. Then Kalli ducks under my arm and steps between us.
“Wilder, relax. She didn't say anything.”
Kalli rests a hand on my chest lightly, but she winces when she does it, and when I try to move closer, that hand becomes more of a barrier than a comfort. “Kalli, what the hell is going on? What's wrong?”
She snatches her hand back, and moves to put more space between us. “Nothing is wrong. I just got a little overwhelmed and needed a break.”
She flew out of that bathroom like she was being chased.
Or like she was getting ready to run.
I look over at Bridget. “You weren't rude?”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, please Wild. Maybe I'm a little bit bitchy, but I wasn't mean to your precious girlfriend.”
She steps forward and lets the heavy bathroom door swing shut with a thud. Then she maneuvers around us and leaves without making eye contact with either of us again. I return my focus to Kalli. She's leaning into the wall a few feet away, and her shoulders are rising and falling slowly with her deep, slow inhales.
“You didn't look like you'd just been taking a breather when you came out of that bathroom. You looked terrified. Tell me what happened.”
She smiles, but it's weak. “Nothing. I swear. I just don't do well in crowds like this.”
I frown, remembering the last time I'd seen her downtown. She'd been stumbling out of a club probably as busy as this one. And she'd been pale and panicked.
Damn.
“Why didn't you tell me? I never would have brought you here if I'd known that.”
I move toward her, but she dodges my touch at the last moment.
“I'm sorry. Just give me a moment, please. Let me calm down for a second, and then … then I'll be fine.”
I frown, grinding my teeth together.
“Was there anyone else in the bathroom besides you two?”
She shakes her head.
I don't touch her again, but I push open the door and gesture for her to come inside. When she does, I close the door and lock it. Then I wet a paper towel in the sink and hand it to her. I pace a few feet away and try not to brood too much as I watch her dab at her face with the towel. I have a thousand questions I want to ask, but I stay silent while she breathes and breathes and breathes for so long that I find myself doing it with her. The doorknob shakes, and someone bangs hard on the outside.
“You okay?” I ask.
After a moment, she nods. I unlock the door, and the two girls waiting outside narrow their eyes when they see me. I hold open the door for Kalli and apologize. “Sorry. My girlfriend got sick.” I hesitate, but then place a hand at her lower back, relieved when she doesn’t flinch.
“Let’s leave. I’ll text the guys and tell them we had to go.”
She grips my arm over my jacket. “No, don’t. I don’t want to ruin our plans.”
I cup her face in my hands and pull her as close as I dare. “The only thing that could ruin this night is seeing you uncomfortable or unhappy. We’re leaving.”
After a moment, she nods. I wrap an arm around her and pull her close to my side, and this time she reciprocates the gesture. Both her arms go around my middle, and she squeezes so tight that it’s almost hard for the two of us to walk. It becomes especially difficult as we try to make our way through the crowd to the exit, but neither of us make any move to let go of the other. We wait it out until there’s an opening or people move out of our way.
It’s cold out, so we walk quickly through the busy streets until we get to our parking garage and can escape into my SUV. I turn the ignition on, and power up the heater as fast as I can. It has heated seats, so I flip those on also. I stop then to retrieve my phone and send a quick text to Rook explaining.
In return I get:
I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.
Shit. What did that mean?
Rather than hound him for the answer, I face Kalli. I swear, all I want to do is pull her over the center console into my lap, and hold her tight until my heart stops beating so hard.
“Can you explain to me what happened back there?”
She keeps her gaze trained on her folded hands in her lap and shakes her head.
“You’re sure Bridget didn’t say something to you? What about Rook?”
She looks up, tilting her head sideways to peer at me. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your ex?”
I sigh. So someone did say something. Probably Rook.
“I should have. I just … things have been going so well, and I didn’t want to screw that up.”
Good job, Bell. You fucked yourself over with that one.
I continue, “I swear there’s absolutely nothing there. It was when I first came back to town with all the stuff going on with my dad. We’d been friends for a while, and she was there when I needed someone. But we weren’t good together. Not at all. She knows we’re not together. She knows we’re not getting back together. But the four of us … we’ve been friends for a long time. I can’t just cut her out. Or ask Rook and Owen to cut her out. She’s their friend, too.”
She nods, looking down again. And damn it, I can’t tell if she’s pissed or sad or if she cares at all.
“Talk to me. Are you mad? I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.”
“I’m not mad.”
I slump back in my seat, only slightly relieved because there’s still something I can’t identify in her tone. Weariness, maybe? Is she just worn out from the crowd?
“Tell me what else is going on in your head. You’re killing me.”
Her eyes flash to mine then, a flare of something in those dark depths.
She purses her lips like she might cry and shakes her head.
“Everything is just so hard.”
“What is?”
I don't like how this moment feels so outside my control.
“I don't want to lose you.”
Screw being cautious. I reach over and unbuckle the seatbelt she'd already fastened, scoot back my own chair, and then pull her over into my lap. She gasps, wiggling in my arms.
“Wilder!”
I capture her face in my hands, and wait for her to still. “You're not losing me.”
She releases a shaky breath and squeezes her eyes shut.
“You can't promise that.”
“Bullshit. I am promising that.”
“Wilder, I—”
I kiss her, unwilling to hear the words and doubts she has to offer. Her lips are taut and tense beneath mine, but when I graze my teeth over her bottom lip, she trembles in my arms, softening.