I give him a half-hearted smile. “I’ve got plans actually.”
I don’t miss the way he stiffens, setting down the paintbrush he’d been using.
Lennox talks for a moment on the other line, and then he wordlessly holds out the phone to me. I hop off the chair he has me seated in and cross to take it.
“Hello?”
“Who do you have plans with, and why do I not know about them?” Lennox demands. I turn my back to Jack, wishing I could leave the room, but considering I’m talking on his phone that would be incredibly rude.
“I’m going out with Wilder. Meeting some of his friends.”
She whistles and says in a sing-song tone, “Meeting the friends. That sounds promising.”
I have the urge to tell her that it’s more than promising. It’s lovely and exhilarating and beyond my wildest dreams. Wilder is everything I could possibly want, if I can just find a way to make it work.
But the careful silence of the room reminds me that Jack is listening.
“Yeah.”
“Are you excited? Nervous?”
“Both. A lot of both.”
“We should combine groups. That way you’ll have back-up.”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on. I’ll be the perfect wing woman, I swear.”
“It’s not really my decision to make, Lennox. It’s his friends.”
“Great. I’ll call him then.”
“Wait, Len—”
The phone clicks off. I squeeze my eyes closed for a few moments before turning and offering Jack back his phone.
“What’s she up to?” he asks.
I shrug and say, “I think she’s calling Wilder. Wants to combine plans.”
He starts cleaning up his supplies, so I guess we’re done for the day. I relax, glad for that.
“So, you’re seeing him?”
I lick my lips nervously and nod. One of the main benefits to this new style of inspiration is that as friends, I can stay with everyone longer. And I can continue to add new people to my circle. But if Jack makes a big deal out of this, it might not be possible. It could ruin everything.
“Since when?”
“Christmas officially. But we met a little over a month before that.”
He frowns and then moves off to the kitchen in his studio apartment to wash his brushes. Unsure of what else to do, I start gathering my things. When I’m done, I think about just calling out a goodbye and leaving, but I know that’s not the right way to handle it. So, I take a seat back in my chair and wait.
He finishes washing his brushes, and then turns. “Thanks for sitting for me.”
“Of course. You know I love your work.”
He nods.
Oh gods. Could this be any more awkward?
“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you soon. How many more sessions do you think you’ll need before we’re finished?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Two maybe. I didn’t get as much done today with all your wiggling.” He gives me a half smile, and I relax a little at the friendly gesture. Jack is a nice guy. We’ll get past this weird patch, and it will all be fine.
“Who knows, maybe I’ll see you tonight if Lennox has her way.”
My stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought. I don’t really want to see Wilder and Jack together again. It will kill me to have this secret between us.
“Maybe.”
I grab my things and head for the door, but at the last second I pause, the twisting in my gut nearly painful.
“Listen,” I say. “If you do come tonight, can you not mention to Wilder that I was here? I haven’t told him yet because you and I are friends, and I didn’t want anything to come between that.”
“You think he’ll be jealous?”
Yes. And I don’t like the slightly eager tone to his question.
“I don’t know. But if you could just … not mention it until I find a way to ease him into the idea, that would be great.”
His eyes linger on mine for a second longer than is comfortable. “Sure, Kalli. You know I’m good for whatever you need.”
My smile is brittle because that offer felt a little too honest.
“Bye Jack.”
“See you later, Kalli.”
Wilder is picking me up in half an hour, and my levels are in a good place. Very close to zero. It makes me a little nervous to have him picking me up, but when he asked he said something about me keeping my place a secret from him, which wasn’t really my intention. It was more about having my own vehicle, my own means of escape should I need some time to breathe and … reevaluate. But I don’t want him to think I’m hiding things from him. Or … at least not little things that don’t matter, like my apartment. So I gave him my address, and now I just have to hope that one night will keep me within acceptable levels. And if I do need to leave early, I know that Wilder won’t hesitate to take me. I just have to hope that’s enough.
I slip my journal underneath my mattress for safekeeping, and check myself over in the mirror once more. I’m wearing slim fitting jeans, boots, a simple shirt and a black leather jacket that I’d chosen specifically because I know Wilder will most likely be wearing his. Not that I want to be all matchy-matchy, but I like the idea of feeling like we belong together. I tie a turquoise scarf around my neck, and am pulling my hair out from under it when my doorbell rings.
I glance at the clock.
He’s ten minutes early.
I wipe my palms against my jeans and head for the front door. When I pull it open, he looks even better than I remember. He’s leaning against the railing just outside my door in that familiar leather jacket. No glasses tonight. Just sinful blue eyes and tousled hair and enough scruff to make him look absolutely irresistible.
“You’re early.”
Millennia of experience, and I’m still stating the obvious.
“Correction,” he says, crossing to stand in front of me. He bends to say in my ear, “I’m eager.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to admit that.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Aren’t you supposed to keep your cards close to your vest or something? Not give up your power?”
His fingers graze my stomach before he flattens his palm there and pushes me back enough that he can step inside. He closes the door behind us, and then presses me into it.
“I’m not trying to keep any power here, sweet. If it’s not entirely clear that I’m powerless when it comes to you, then you haven’t been paying attention.” The tip of his nose grazes my jaw, tickling as he slides close to my ear. “And I don’t care if you know that I’m eager to see you. In fact, I’ve been dying for it.”