I need to forget. I have to forget. Please let this make me forget.
I CLOSED MY eyes as I lay next to Zach. That was not what I thought my first time would be like. It lacked passion and love. And something far more important, the man I wanted my first time to be with. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes. My mother’s words of advice replayed over and over in my mind. If only I’d listened to them. I sat up and reached for my robe. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Zach mumbled something as he lay there. Wrapping the robe around my body, I tied it and grabbed my phone as I made my way into the bathroom.
Shutting the door, I leaned against it and dropped my head back. “Oh God. What did I just do?” I whispered. I dropped down onto the cold tile floor and activated the screen on my phone. Zach’s text message was on the screen. My hand slowly moved up to my mouth as I closed my eyes and thought about earlier when I ran into Luke.
Looking down, I read the text message again. Luke must have read it and that was why he turned and walked away from me. He knew I was going to sleep with Zach. Tears began to spill from my eyes as I quickly wiped them away, trying to contain my sobs. I closed Zach’s message and opened up one to Alex. I was about to start typing a text to her when there was a knock at my dorm room door. I jumped up and quickly wiped away my tears. I opened the bathroom door and smiled weakly at Zach.
“Were you expecting a delivery or something?” Zach asked. I shook my head, fearing if I talked my voice would betray me. I opened the door and saw Luke standing there.
“Luke? What are you doing here?”
He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. My heart began to race. “I need to talk to you, Lib.”
He was too late.
He came too late.
“If you wanted to talk, you should have talked to me months ago.” Before I gave myself to another man, when all I wanted was to be with you.
I closed the door more so that Luke couldn’t see Zach, lying in my bed—naked.
“Libby, please just let me come in. I need to talk to you.” His words were pleading and destroyed my already broken heart into a million pieces.
He let out a sigh. “Lib, just let me in … please.”
I shook my head. “Now is not a good time, Luke. Can you come back later?”
“No, I’m tired of this, Libby. I can’t take it anymore. I need to talk to you.”
I closed the door more. “Later, Luke.” Before I knew what was happening, he lifted his hand and pushed the door open and began walking in. I covered my mouth with my hand. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Oh, God,” Luke whispered as he looked at Zach sitting up in my bed. Zach smiled slightly.
“Um, I believe she told you this wasn’t a good time.”
Luke turned and looked at me. I was frozen. I couldn’t say a word as my heart pounded loudly in my ears.
Luke looked down to the floor and quickly walked out the door, quietly shutting it behind him.
He was too late. The moment I heard the door shut, I turned and walked into the bathroom again. Soon my body was shaking with sobs as I sat on the cold floor and cried like I’ve never cried before.
Luke …
SITTING IN MY truck, I thought back to a few weeks ago when I had walked in on Libby and Zach. My stomach felt sick any time I thought about it. With everything that had happened with Alex and her attempted rape, Libby and I had pretty much ignored each other and focused on Alex since coming back to Mason.
Tonight was the barn dance at Mr. Banks’ place and Grace pretty much forced me into going. She kept saying I needed to get out and socialize with people. I knew Libby would be there tonight and I dreaded seeing her. Will told me that Libby had broken up with Zach the same day she had slept with him for the first time. I knew by me rejecting Libby as much as I did, I was most likely the reason she pushed herself into sleeping with Zach. Knowing that Libby felt like she had made a mistake played havoc on my heart.
Opening the truck door, I jumped out and headed to the entrance to wait on Will, who had just pulled in. Will jumped out of his truck, and jogged around to the passenger side and opened the door for his cousin, Trish. Making their way to me, I held out my hand and Trish took it. “It’s good to see you again, Trish. Are you ready for your first barn dance?”
She nodded her head in excitement. “Bring it on!” Shaking my head I laughed. Will, Trish, and I headed into the barn. I looked around and didn’t see anyone else here yet. “Come on, Trish. Let’s show Luke what I’ve taught you so far. Trish chuckled as Will pulled her out onto the dance floor.
I felt a hand slip around my waist. I looked and saw Claire Montgomery looking up at me. “Hey, cowboy. Long time no see.”
Tipping my cowboy hat, I smiled in her direction. “Claire, how are you doing?”
Smiling bigger, she winked at me as she said, “I’d do a hell of a lot better if you took me for a spin—on the dance floor.”
Letting out a chuckle, I grabbed her hand. “Come on girl, let’s two-step for a bit.”
Claire and I fell right into step. I knew all I would have to do is take her to my truck and she’d let me fuck her senseless, but Claire was not who I wanted. She’d come in handy a few times, especially when she fell to her knees and would suck me off. Of course every time I let her do that, I was drunk out of my mind.
I spun Claire around as she laughed. Looking up, I saw Libby looking directly at me. Maegan, Alex, Taylor, and Lauren were all standing around looking out on the dance floor.
Fuck. I looked away and finished my dance with Claire. When the song ended, I excused myself and headed over to where Colt was talking to a few guys from his football team. He was talking about playing football with Texas A&M.
I turned when I heard Alex laying into Claire. Turning around, I stood there while Alex basically told Claire to fuck off and stay away from both Will and me. Claire pushed past Alex and me as she made her way out of the barn to leave.
Laughing, I brought Alex in for a hug. “Damn, little cousin. Where in the hell did that come from?
Alex giggled. “I guess I got tired of hiding inside my own body.” I pushed a piece of Alex’s hair behind her ear. I hated what she had gone through this past summer. I grinned and said, “Welcome back, Alex.”
She grinned and said, “It feels good to be back. Hey, Luke?”
“Yeah?”
Clearing her throat, Alex asked, “Did Will tell you that Libby left Zach?”
My smile instantly disappeared. “Um—yeah, he did.”