Jax faked innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. You heard the man, he has somewhere to be.”
I laughed. “Sure he did.”
Jax grinned at me, walked over to a tall chest, and opened a drawer. “If I give you something of mine, will you accept it if I really want you to have it?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. “Um, I guess it depends on what it is you want to give me.”
He pulled out an iPod and brought it over. “I want you to take this. It’s mine and has some really great artists on there, but I want you to have it because every song I have ever recorded is on there too.”
I took the iPod from his hands. “Thank you.”
“If you don’t want to listen to me, it’s all right. If there are other artists you want on there, just bring it to me, and I will put them on there for you.” He reached back into the drawer. “Oh, and here are some ear buds. I’ll get you a wireless pair, but I need to have them made to fit your ears. We can get
those on Sunday.”
I laughed at his eagerness. “These ear buds are fine.”
He shook his head. “You say that now, but if you ever use wireless ear buds you would know it’s not true.”
I sighed and agreed, “Okay.”
He seemed so excited about being able to give me something I didn’t want to spoil it. I liked seeing him act like a little boy. My insides turned to mush during the times he opened up enough to show his vulnerable side.
“I’ll listen to you as I go to sleep at night,” I assured the little boy who seemed anxious about his gift.
He closed his eyes tightly. “You don’t know how good thinking about it makes me feel, but now I am going to have a harder time going to sleep at night knowing I’m singing in your ears.”
He opened his eyes to look at me, I saw something there I’d only wished for, or my heart was lying to me.
* * *
Chapter Eight
A note greeted me when I arrived at work the next day. Ms. Mary sighed heavily and handed it to me as soon as I walked in. I glanced over at the table, and a wave of disappointment hit me at the sight of the empty seat where I had hoped Jax would be sitting.
“No need to be so upset. Read the note, and then hurry along and get ready.”
I walked back to the laundry room before opening the letter. I didn’t want to read anything in front of Ms. Mary’s prying eyes.
Sadie,
I am sorry I won’t be at breakfast this morning. I have been so busy wallowing in my not being able to have you, and then being given the gift of...my air...that I forgot about a movie premier I am expected at tonight. I am flying out to Hollywood this morning early and I will be back as soon as this is over. I intend to get on a plane and head right back to you as soon as possible. Please forgive me. I will see you soon. Miss me.
Jax
I swallowed the lump in my throat, aggravated with myself more than anything. Jax was a famous rock star. He had a band and people who depended upon him. He had to go to things such as movie premiers. I knew the more time I spent with him would make things like this hard on me, but I also needed to decide whether or not I wanted to be with him enough to get over this. I changed quickly and splashed my face with cold water. I needed to focus, not think about Jax and his real life. It was something I would never know or understand. I needed to get a grip. I dried my face on a towel and walked back into the kitchen.
“Where do I start?”
Ms. Mary turned to me. I gave her a smile, and she frowned, and then reluctantly smiled back. “I got ten pounds of potatoes over there fresh out of my garden. Start scrubbing 'em, then get them all peeled for me.”
I nodded and went right to work. Cleaning potatoes proved to be a great way to get my mind off other things. I wished I didn’t miss him so much. Two days and I was so addicted to his presence I was lost without him. But then I remembered my iPod, and I jumped up and went to my bag and pulled it out. I’d sat in my room the previous night figuring it out. I found Jax’s latest album and put the ear buds in my ears. Listening to him helped. I didn’t see a star on the stage when I heard him sing. I saw the guy sitting on his bed with his old guitar, grinning at me. His voice helped the potatoes, and the morning, go faster. I got so lost in my thoughts and the music I jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. Marcus gazed down at me.
“Lost in the music, I see,” he said smiling.
I nodded and slipped the ear buds out of my ears. “Yes, I guess I was.”
Marcus pulled up a stool and sat down beside me. “Let me guess who you’re listening too. Could it be the number one chart topper for the past three weeks, Jax Stone?”
I was glad Marcus seemed to be in a teasing mood. I nodded and grinned up at him. “I guess I’m pretty obvious.”
Marcus sighed. “Unfortunately, yes, you are.”
“I know I spend all my time with Jax. I only have this summer with him, then he will walk out of my life, and I will have to learn to keep living.”
Marcus leaned back against the wall and frowned. “You know when he leaves this summer, it’s over. I mean, he has told you this, surely.”
I thought about how to answer. It was between Jax and me, but Marcus was my friend and he needed some answers. He deserved some answers. “We both know trying to have a relationship, while he rocks the world and I finish high school, is impossible. We knew this going into the relationship, and we both agreed being together now was what we wanted.”
Marcus stared at the large bucket of potatoes. “And you are okay with this? I mean, you’re fine with dating him now? Then he just walks away when the summer ends and you won’t be heartbroken?”
I let out a short laugh. “I didn’t say my heart wouldn’t be broken. I’m afraid it is inevitable.”
Marcus leaned forward on his knees and studied me. “Then why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked low enough so no one nearby could hear him.
I put the last potato back in the bucket. “It’s too late now, Marcus. I love him. I no longer have a choice.”
He reacted like I slapped him, and I hated hurting him, but I knew he needed to know.
“He doesn’t deserve it. He can have any girl in the world’s love, and he took yours. Someone who deserves so much more than a summer fling.”
He stood and started to walk away, but stopped and glanced back at me. “If you were mine, I would never let you go.” He left the kitchen.
The rest of the day went slow, and I was glad when it was over. I went to change clothes and started out the door when Ms. Mary called my name.