“Boyfriend, huh?” Dusty said. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He leaned over and gave me a kiss, which was either a very brave or very stupid thing to do, seeing as how Renee was within slapping distance.
I grinned and kissed him back, and I heard her making protesting noises.
“You said you’d be nice.” I pulled away from Dusty long enough to say that, and then went back to his lips.
“I can be nice,” Renee muttered under her breath.
“Can we come down now? The suspense is killing us,” Taylor called from upstairs, and Dusty broke the kiss.
“Come down and meet my boyfriend,” I called, and I heard a little exclamation of glee that was probably from Taylor.
She and Darah came down the stairs with Napoleon, who was meowing because of all the excitement. Paul came after them and went right for Renee, putting his hands on her shoulders and rubbing them.
“Yay, everyone is alive,” Taylor said. “Dare and I were getting worried.” She held Napoleon up like Simba in The Lion King and he didn’t seem too happy about it.
“Oh, buddy, it’s okay.” Dusty reached for him and Taylor passed the kitten over. The second Dusty had him, Napoleon started purring.
“Nice job with the kitten,” Renee said. “Well played.”
“Thank you,” Dusty said, giving Napoleon a kiss on his tiny head. Dead, I was dead. “He’s irresistible. Just like you, Red.”
Renee groaned, and Darah and Taylor said, “aww,” simultaneously. Well, you couldn’t win them all.
“Straighten up and fly right, Ne,” I said as I kissed my boyfriend.
Chapter 23
Having sex with Dusty put our relationship in some sort of relationship time machine. Where I was with Matt after years of being with him, I got beyond after only a few days with Dusty. Mostly because we spent every moment of time we could, together.
I was a little reluctant to fool around at Yellowfield House after the first time, so I started staying over at his place. It wasn’t as nice, of course, but it didn’t matter, as long as we were together. Plus, Napoleon slept with us, and the first time I woke up and found Dusty curled around the sleeping kitten, I swore my heart was going to explode from the sweetness of it.
I got my bucket of candy back from Hannah when I went to see her to give her the good news about Dusty and also to apologize for throwing her out and for general craziness.
“Dude, it’s okay. I’ve been there. In fact, your crazy wasn’t as good as mine. I’ll tell you about it sometime.”
I also had to give her nearly every detail of my sexual exploits, and it was like she was reading Cosmopolitan and taking notes for later use.
“Humming,” I said.
“Humming?” She looked puzzled.
“Humming,” I said with a wink. “Just trust me on this one.”
Tuesday I attended my first meeting at the paper, and Brett gave me my first assignment, a battle of the bands on campus featuring groups like Zoom Zoom Bang, Lader Vader and Sterling Silver Lining. I got to know some of the other writers, and they all seemed both cool and unintimidating, which was good.
“So what are you doing on Saturday night?” I said to Dusty that night as we lay in bed at Yellowfield House after a hushed naked session. I’d hinted to Hunter that it might be a good idea for everyone if they soundproofed the basement, but it hadn’t happened yet.
“Um, hopefully doing more of this with you.” He stroked my thigh and then kissed where his hand had been. “I still haven’t counted all these freckles.”
“Not for lack of trying,” I said, tracing his tattoo with my finger. “But I have to cover the battle of the bands, and I wanted to know if you’d come with me. It’ll probably be awful, but it will suck less if you’re there.”
“Sure, Red.” He kissed his way up my leg, and I had the feeling I was going to be incoherent again very soon.
I’d been so scared of him finding out about my role in Nathan’s death, and just like that, it didn’t matter. I’d spent nearly a year hating myself and hating the world and just hating everything, and it had been the ultimate waste of time.
This was what Nathan had meant when he said, “Live the day.” He didn’t mean getting drunk, or completely abandoning who I was, or isolating myself. I knew that this, these moments with Dusty, and the moments with Renee and Hannah and the rest of the people who loved me, those were what life was about. And music, of course. Life wasn’t worth living without it.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Dusty said a little while later after we’d gotten tangled up again.
“You’ll think of something,” I said, still panting a little. He knew how to wear a girl out.
“How about a truckload of candy?” He set his chin on my stomach and I stroked his head.
“I’m still working through the bucket you got me before.” It was in the corner of my room, and barely a third was gone. There was a shit ton of candy in there.
“Or oral-sex coupons?”
“I need coupons to get that now?”
He smiled.
“No, just kidding. You’re right—I’ll think of something.”
“I love you,” I said. If there was one thing I loved more than actually loving Dusty, it was getting to say it out loud.
“Love you, too, Red.”
“Do you think he’s in heaven? Nathan?” I said. Dusty and I hadn’t talked much about him, since it was still such a fresh wound for both of us, but we needed to. We couldn’t move on together until we had dealt with our shared past.
“I never used to believe in something like an afterlife, but I feel like...now, that I kind of have to. That I have to believe he went somewhere beautiful and happy and safe, because if anyone deserved to go there, it would be Nate.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.
“He’d tried to get me clean so many times, and it was him dying that finally did it. That night when you met me at the hospital, I was at my support group meeting for addicts.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be anonymous?” Dusty crawled up my body until we were face-to-face again.
“You won’t tell anyone, right?”
“Cross my heart,” I said, crossing my hand over my chest, which drew Dusty’s attention to that area.
“Do that again.” I did. “I love watching you touch yourself. Do you know how much of a turn-on that is?”