“I believe I said I wondered whether a private doctor couldn’t offer you more. I was asking Dr. Molloy’s opinion, not questioning your choices. You made an excellent decision to come here. Under the circumstances,” Kevin said.
“Excuse me.” Dr. Molloy cleared her throat “Didn’t I mention that stress isn’t good for mother or child?”
With a loud exhale for exaggerated effect, Nikki lowered herself back into her seat. Just when she’d decided to try to build a relationship, he placed unexpected roadblocks in her path.
“The most I can do is offer you some pros and cons and suggest the two of you talk this over rationally at home.”
Kevin nodded. Nikki tensed. Why discuss anything, when she sensed she’d be outvoted? “I’d like to hear what you have to say,” she said to the doctor.
Good, Kevin thought. But he wasn’t fooled. Nikki wasn’t at all interested in the doctor’s opinion, just in throttling him. He’d made another calculated error when it came to dealing with Nicole. He should have discussed the possibility of switching doctors with her in private. Instead he’d put her on the defensive.
He hadn’t meant to. Rather, he figured that laying out his case in front of a third party would be beneficial to them both. When would he learn? He had little experience dealing with women’s emotions. Especially pregnant women. Trial by fire, he thought, catching sight of her clenched jaw and firm expression.
She didn’t seem to mind his questions or concerns, but she took affront any time he tried to wrest control. Control and independence she’d worked hard to achieve. Dammit, he hadn’t meant to take that away from her.
“Let’s lay out the facts,” the doctor suggested.
He nodded. It was why he’d broached the subject to begin with.
“Fact one. You picked this clinic when you lived closer. Fact two. We’re open limited hours. Fact three. I volunteer here, but my main base is outside of the city.” Dr. Molloy grinned. “This might help you two split the difference.” She reached into her jacket pocket and handed Nikki a business card.
Nikki turned the card over in her hand. “This hospital is close to Kevin’s house.”
“You’d get to keep your doctor, and he’d get his private physician.”
“But someone would have to pay you your out of clinic fees,” she said.
The doctor rose to her feet. Kevin followed. “And that’s my cue. The rest has to be worked out between the two of you.”
When she shut the door behind her, Kevin heard the silence. He turned to face Nikki, but she’d slipped around him and before he could blink, she disappeared out the door.
* * *
The wind blew her hair off her face. Nikki tipped her chin up to catch the wind and feel its cool relief. He doesn’t want to control; he wants to protect.
Reminding herself about Kevin’s motives helped to calm down her anger, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d circled around her in the hopes of getting his way. Some start to reaching an accommodation, she thought with frustration.
He caught up with her outside the clinic. “At the very least, let me drive you home.”
“I wasn’t running away from you. I needed fresh air.”
“Space from me.”
She sighed. “I’d think that was obvious.”
He gently took her elbow and steered her toward the end of the street, toward his car, which he’d parked on the next block. He opened the door, then walked around to the driver’s side. Minutes later, they were on their way.
“I can’t imagine it’s easy feeling like you’re losing control,” he said finally.
His insight shocked her. That he’d given a thought to how she must be feeling also took her by surprise. Was he, too, trying to breach the barrier he’d erected?
She curled her hands into fists and marshaled her thoughts. “It isn’t. And it isn’t easy every time you try to take it away.”
“Honestly, that wasn’t my intention.” He pulled off at an unexpected exit.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere neutral. You’ve been cooped up for weeks. I’d think you’d welcome fresh air and the great outdoors.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t be nice to me, Kevin. It makes it too hard to stay angry.”
“Then don’t.”
The reservoir by Boston College loomed in front of them. Kevin pulled into an empty parking spot. After putting the car into park, he leaned an arm over the wheel and turned to face her. Can we call a truce? Let’s take a walk, get some fresh air and talk.”
She smiled. “I think I can manage that.”
“Good. And one more thing. Whatever comes up, remember I have your best interests at heart. Yours and the baby’s.”
Nikki nodded. He always had the baby’s best interest at heart. Hers too. And up until now, it hadn’t been enough. But if she wanted more from him than he was giving now, she’d have to begin accepting his overtures. Start somewhere.
She met him outside the car and together they walked along a graveled path. Green grass spread out before her, water rippled to her left, and blue sky dazzled her overhead. On a day like this, she could almost forget her problems.
Almost, but not quite.
Especially when Kevin placed his hand in hers and squeezed tightly. His strength had a calming effect and the butterflies in her stomach eased. He obviously wanted to talk. She told herself there was nothing he could say that she couldn’t handle and hoped she was right.
He paused by a large rock and she curled up on top of it. The smooth surface felt warm and solid through her denim jeans.
“Let’s start with basics, okay? Are you comfortable with Dr. Molloy?” Kevin asked.
“Yes. Very. But not with you paying for her private fees.”
“I can understand that. And I’m not looking to control your life, but there’s not just you to consider.” He leaned against the rock beside her. “You may have to come to terms with the fact that I’m half responsible for this situation and since you didn’t plan it, you’re going to have to accept my help.”
She bit down on her lower lip. As much as it pained her to take steps backward and accept help after she’d struggled to be independent, what choice did she have? She couldn’t afford everything this baby would need, at least not yet.
“Go on,” she said, wanting to hear him out.