A dangerous notion. He’d be a fool if he didn’t see the matching longing in her violet eyes, or acknowledge the emotional connection between them. But to act on either would be to put his needs first, not Nikki’s. He’d done that once before, with disastrous results.
Not disastrous for him, since the thought of her pregnant with his child was a blessing. One he didn’t deserve. And one that had uprooted her entire life. Again. With his track record of letting her down, he didn’t intend to take any chances. So he intended to keep his distance and put her first for once. And maybe then he could look himself in the mirror without wanting to hit the reflection staring back at him.
By the time he walked back into the house, Mrs. Reid had finished cleaning up, had set his wrapped dinner on the counter and was ready to leave for the night. He glanced over the other woman’s shoulder, expecting to see Nikki settled in the recliner watching television, but the room was sparkling clean—and empty.
“Where’s Nikki?” he asked.
“In bed. Asleep.”
“Is she feeling okay?” Their trip to the clinic earlier in the week had been uneventful and the recommendation of the doctor there not much different than that of the emergency room attendant in the hospital.
Kevin wanted to broach the subject of leaving the clinic but he didn’t think Nikki was up to the argument. And he was certain she’d fight him. On this as well as other things. Kevin knew he had to build the foundation for approaching the subject of marriage in a way that would leave Nikki with no doubt it was the right solution. He just hadn’t yet figured out how to make his case.
Mrs. Reid grabbed for her light jacket and swung it over her shoulders. “She’s fine. I don’t even think it’s real exhaustion. She’s bored if you ask me. Had it with being cooped up.”
He exhaled. “Can’t say I blame her, but it shouldn’t be too much longer.” Another week and she’d return to the doctor, and if things stayed the same, she’d be allowed out of bed as long as she didn’t do anything strenuous.
“Boredom often comes from loneliness,” Mrs. Reid said with a pointed stare. “Can I speak my mind?”
Kevin nodded. Some insight into Nikki wouldn’t only help her, but it might make this new living arrangement more bearable. “Go on.”
“I didn’t realize until tonight that she wanted me to do more than clean around her and serve her meals. She wants company. Someone to talk to and some plain human interaction. We all need it.”
“Are you asking my permission to spend time with her? Even though you’re only here part-time, I hired you to be with her for whatever she needs. Not just to cook and clean.”
She shook her head. He thought she muttered, “Men,” under her breath. “Of course I’ll keep that girl company. I like her spirit. But I’m not the only one she needs something from.” She fished for her keys in her black leather purse. “Good night, Mr. Manning.”
“Night,” he muttered, knowing she was right. And not knowing what the hell to do about it.
He let Mrs. Reid out. Following instinct, he made his way toward Nikki’s room. She’d left the hall light burning but her room was dark. Kevin walked down the brightly lit hall toward the door, open just a crack. With any other woman, he’d consider it an invitation. But Nikki had never resorted to playing games.
Even the night she’d shown up on his doorstep, she hadn’t been shy about what she wanted. He stepped into the room, his gaze drawn to the figure in the bed. He walked closer. Her even breathing told him she was asleep.
He ought to turn and go. He’d done his duty. He’d checked and she was fine. He could leave her in peace. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to walk out. Instead he sat beside her on the double bed, careful not to move the mattress and wake her up. As if of its own volition, his hand moved, and he smoothed the dark hair off her forehead.
She stirred, rolling toward him. So much for good intentions, he thought.
“Kevin?” she murmured, her voice groggy with sleep.
“Right here.”
Her eyes opened slowly, and her gaze met his. Surprise warred with pleasure. Pleasure she quickly stifled and he felt its loss. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” It was too late to remove his hand, nor did he want to. He’d spent too much time keeping them apart but wanting more. He fingered the silken strands between his fingers.
He’d believed the only way their new living arrangement could work was if he kept his distance. He still believed that, but knew it was the selfish man’s way out. “So are you okay?” he asked.
Nikki bit down on her lower lip. She held onto Kevin’s gaze and decided, if she had any hope of happiness, that she had to be honest. “I’m fine,” she told him. “Better now that you’re here.”
His sharp inhale told her she’d hit a nerve. Well, good. It’s about time someone didn’t let Kevin off easily. All this tiptoeing around each other wasn’t good for her and wasn’t good for the baby. If she wasn’t careful she’d end up in a self-induced depression and there was no way she’d let these circumstances get her down. It meant pulling Kevin into the feeling world, kicking and screaming, but she didn’t care.
If she was going to live in his house and be around him constantly, then he was going to have to acknowledge that he wasn’t alone. That she was here, and she affected him as much as he affected her. Not that she expected anything more to come of it, she assured herself.
Perhaps this nap gave her more strength and perspective than she’d realized. Or maybe it was breaking through Mrs. Reid’s reserve, but something had changed. She was pregnant, she was happy about it, and she wasn’t going to let confinement get to her. She was going to live, and drag Kevin along with her.
“I can’t stay.”
She pushed herself higher against the pillows. “Why? Do you have important reruns to watch on television? Push-ups to do that can’t wait?”
A grin edged the sides of his mouth. “You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?”
“Why should I? I’m living in your house and having your baby. What about this is easy for me?”
“You’re too smart for your own good, Nicole.”
She laughed. “No, just too stubborn for yours. Stay with me,” she said, knowing she’d be catching him off guard. “Please.” She added the latter for good measure.