This is where I took her to hide when she needed to run.
I gave her the escape and the hideout.
Now I need to be her rock.
I need to fix this and take her home. Where she belongs.
I pause at the small clearing. She’s sitting against a tree, her knees bent up, and she’s looking at something in her hands. She puts her legs down and I get a glimpse of what’s in her hands.
A white stick.
What is…?
Oh shit.
“Something you wanna share, Rox?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine – Roxy
Oh no.
Slowly I raise my eyes and swallow. Kyle’s standing between two trees, his hands resting on each of them, and his eyes steady on me.
“How did you find me?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He walks toward me and I try to hide the test. It’s pointless. He’s already seen it. He knows what it is.
“Um,” I stutter.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know yet,” I whisper. “I’m still waiting.”
He takes a deep breath and sits on the ground next to me, looping his arms around his knees. “I’m waiting with you. Then you can tell me what motherfucker gave you that black eye.”
He doesn’t ask who’s baby it would be if it’s positive. He doesn’t doubt for a second it’d be his.
I nod slowly and pull the test back out from my sleeve. The little hourglass is spinning in the bottom corner of the screen and every turn seems like an hour instead of a second. My hand is shaking as I hold onto the test. My heart is pounding with fear, spreading it through my body. I feel sick. I can’t breathe. Until—
“Negative,” I breathe out.
I drop the test as relief hits me. My hands rubs down my face and I let out a long breath. Kyle’s eyes are burning into the side of my head, and I know it’s time to be honest with him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly.
“That night… The first time we had sex, on Iz’s birthday, we didn’t use protection.” I stand and walk a couple of steps. “I drove to Portland the next afternoon and got the morning after pill when I realized, and I thought it was taken care of. I didn’t think about it anymore, like, at all. I completely shut it out. On Saturday, when I left work… I went to Portland with Layla. You didn’t believe anymore, so I had nothing left to believe in, and I practically drank the week away. That’s how I got this.” I touch my cheek and relay to him what happened that night.
“He didn’t do anything to you, did he?”
“Not apart from this. I kneed him in the balls and ran like hell.” I take a deep breath and continue before he can stop me. “But this… I only realized I was late two days ago. I didn’t tell you because I was scared. Maybe it would have been different if we didn’t break up… But I couldn’t just call you up and be all, “Hey, I know you just walked away from our relationship, but just so you know, I could be having your baby,” could I? That’s why I didn’t tell you. I was hurting and I was scared.”
The ground crunches beneath his feet. Kyle grabs me and pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around my body. I circle his waist with my arms and bury my face into him the way he is to me as tears drip from my eyes.
“Fuck the break up,” he says into my hair. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I wish you’d told me, Rox. You wouldn’t have had to run and hide and do that test alone. You have to know I would have been here.”
I shake my head. “I thought you didn’t care. What if it had been different?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered!” He pulls back and lifts my face so he’s looking in my eyes. “I would have been here either way for whatever. The break up is all bullshit. Everything I said is crap. It means nothing, okay? Forget it ever happened. I don’t care about that anymore. I just care you’re okay. That’s all that matters to me. I’ve been so f**king worried about you, you can’t even imagine.”
He presses his lips to mine, and I sink into his hold, feeling a tiny piece of my heart mend.
“I really thought you didn’t care,” I whisper in a thick voice, dropping my eyes.
“Oh, Rox.” He laughs and strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I more than f**king care about you. I love you.”
Hold your horses. My eyes snap up to his. A small smile is playing on his lips, his eyes clear and raw.
“Wha?” is all I manage.
“I love you. I love you. I love you. The old you and the new you. Every part of you. I fell for the person you are right now and I wouldn’t have you any other way. You don’t have to change to be the person I want you to be because you’re already there. You’re already her.”
I swallow, his words sinking in, and run my fingers through his hair. “Really?”
“Yep.” He nods. “I. Love. You. Are we clear?”
“Not quite.” I step closer to him and let my lips curl into my own smile. “We’re missing something.”
“We are?”
I curl my other hand around his neck and pull his face down to mine. I touch our lips together firmly, and he brings our bodies together. His arms wrap my waist and mine wrap his neck until there’s no space between us.
“Kyle?” I whisper.
“Roxy?”
I open my eyes to his and stare at him for a moment. “I love you too.”
~
“I’m sorry. For last week.” I run my finger up and down his arm.
“Me too,” he replies.
“I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have gone mad at you when you asked me if I’d bought from Layla.”
“I shouldn’t have asked you, Rox. I should have trusted you.”
“Yeah, maybe, but I should have believed you enough to know you didn’t ask to piss me off.”
“It would have been a success if that was my aim,” he mutters into my hair.
“Shut up.” I smile. “I’m sorry for being a bitch to you too. I was just trying to make a point, I guess.”
“Well it worked,” Kyle gives me. “Although I don’t think it was quite the outcome we were expecting.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t actually think you would walk away the way you did,” my voice trails off.
“Hey.” Kyle holds me tighter to him and I turn my face to look at him when he puts his fingers in my hair. “I was bluffing. Do you really think I could have walked away from you like that? I was always going to come back to you. Always.”