Her green eyes don’t smile when her mouth does. They’re dull, lifeless. “Yes... you’re a big girl now, aren’t you? You don’t mind if I’m not here tonight, do you? It’s just with you comin’ home early I have plans and...”
“No, Momma, I don’t mind. I understand.” I give her another fake smile, and her eyes brighten. “You go have fun.”
She winks at me, and scoots from the kitchen, the bottle still behind her back.
I watch her go, my mood deflating, and head for the back door as the anger at myself kicks in. Anger at myself for giving her the out, the excuse, for just letting her go. Always… It’s always the same.
She messes up. I give her the escape route. She takes it. I let her.
I climb into the tree house like I did so many times after Dad left. The tree house is my safe haven where I can let it all out.
I lean against the thick trunk of the tree and rest my head back against it, shutting my eyes to hold back the tears. I wonder if it’s too late to sign up for summer classes. What in the hell am I doing back in Alabama? This place...
“Argh!” I kick the floor.
This place is like a drug. It’s the last thing you need, the thing you want out of your life but try as you might, you can’t fight it. It keeps pulling you back in until you’re broken, shattered, and dependent.
I don’t want to be dependent. I want to spread my wings and fly.
I don’t want to be like my Mom, left behind by the man she loved for her whole life.
Reese’s face pops into my mind. His voice, his touch, his laugh.
I need to get out of here.
~
Party at Rock’s Saturday. U there? Reese.
I shrug as I type a message back. No reason to be.
Luce is back.
Nice try.
A party at Rock’s. Did he already forget he got in my pants before? ‘Cause I’m pretty damn sure it was brought up in the garage earlier.
“Ass,” I mutter and slam the back door. My cell rings again, and Luce’s name pops up.
“A little birdie told me Miss New York is back in little ol’ Alabama,” she sings, exaggerating her drawl.
“A little birdie told you right,” I reply, smiling at my best friend’s voice.
“Then I wanna know why you ain’t got your pretty little ass round my house yet.”
“I didn’t know, you were back from Vegas until Reese told me.”
“Reese, huh?” Her suggestive tone riles me.
“My car battery died. I saw him at the garage with Adam.”
“I know, I’m just teasin’. I saw it there when I drove past and stopped off. I ain’t seen you in a year, girl!”
“You know why, Luce.” I push my hair from my face.
“I know, Kia. She still as bad as ever?”
“What do you think?” I say in a bitter tone. “Of course she is.”
“Come over for dinner tonight,” Luce offers.
“Oh no. It’s your first night back. I couldn’t impose on y’all like that.”
“Well fine.” I can imagine her rolling her dark eyes. “We’ll go out for dinner.”
I sigh. “You won’t give up, will you?”
“Not a chance. I missed my best friend. I’ll come over and we’ll order pizza.”
“And decide how we’re not goin’ to Rock’s Saturday night.”
“Maybe.” She hangs up, and I shut my eyes.
I love Luce, but god help me. Her crush on Adam isn’t healthy, and it hasn’t been since we were thirteen and she moved here from Mississippi.
I cast my eyes around the room. No bottles, no rubbish... A normal front room.
Because of me. Because I do the parenting thing.
I hear thumps on the stairs.
“Oh, you’re here.” Four p.m., and she’s already slurring her words slightly. I swallow my sigh.
“Yep,” I turn to her. She’s a shadow of her former self.
“Thought you’d still be outside.”
“There ain’t that much sun in New York, not like there is here. It’s gonna take some getting used to again.”
Mom nods like she gets it. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t get it, and she doesn’t care enough to try.
“Well, I’m heading down the bar. Meetin’ Aria. Have fun, Kia.” She blows a half-hearted kiss and disappears out the door.
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. I’m trying not to let the sting of her blatant dismissal affect me yet again. I shouldn’t be surprised. I shouldn’t expect anything to be different.
But I do. Every time.
Every. Damn. Time.
~
“I have pizza, candy, and Coke!” Luce announces, nudging the front door closed with her hip. How did she even get it open?
She enters the room in a burst of color – literally. You couldn’t miss her scarlet hair if you wanted to. Her arms are laden down with the worst – yet best – kinds of food. I jump up and take the Coke from her, setting it on the table while I grab some cups. When I come back in, the DVD is in the player and the pizza box is open and steaming.
“Ahh, I’ve missed this comfy sofa.” Luce picks up a piece of pizza and sits back, blowing on it. Her feet prop up on the table in front of her.
“Make yourself at home.” I drop on the cushion next to her and take a slice for myself.
“Oh, I have,” she says through a mouthful of food.
“Animal,” I retort, tearing a big bite off. She raises her eyebrows, and we both grin.
There’s comfort in our friendship. It’s the kind of friendship born from craziness – and a friendship born of craziness is absolutely the best kind. There are no restrictions, no having to hide who you really are.
“So...” Luce licks her fingers, grabs another piece of pizza, and sits back again.
“So...” I repeat, looking at her quizzically.
“Reese is lookin’ good.”
“And your point is?” I tuck my legs under me and pick up my coke.
“No point.” She shrugs one shoulder.
“Don’t go bullshittin’ me, Lucia Jane Hampton. What’s your point?” I meet her dark brown eyes.
“What’s going on with you and Reese?”
That’s Luce - straight to the point. Well, after a small detour, at least.
“Nothing. There was last summer, and that’s it. We’re different people now.”
“I don’t believe it.” She shakes her head.