“What happened a year ago, happened. Things have changed since. Why won’t you let it go?”
“Because of you.”
And now for the million dollar question.
“Why does it matter so much to you that I didn’t come back at Christmas?”
He blinks, his other hand resting under my jaw. His thumb traces across the crease of my bottom lip and along my cheek toward my ear.
“Because it’s you. I was goin’ damn crazy without you. I took the easy way out. I should have gone to New York and found you, but I didn’t. I stayed here like an ass, every day thinking that tomorrow would be the day you’d come back to the Grove. I wanted you for ages; you know that. You had to know that after last summer. Every free second was all about us, what we did have and what we could have had. I had you, Kia. I thought once would be enough. But it isn’t. Not with you. One night or one summer… It’s just not enough for me.”
I heave in a breath, my legs shaking. I step back, breaking the contact between us. “You know that’s all it could ever be. We have two different lives. You’re here and my life is in New York. Nothing can happen.”
He clenches his jaw, and I turn away. “Don’t run, Kia.”
“I’m not running,” I whisper over my shoulder.
“Yeah, ya are! You ran last summer. You didn’t have to leave for another week, but you left here the morning after! You ran, and you’re doin’ it again. And you know why? It’s ‘cause you can feel it too, you can feel it’s more than sex, more than a simple summer romance. It’s been a year since I saw you last and I want you just as damn much as I did then! Hell, baby, I can’t see anything other than you. I can’t think about anything other than you. What do you want me to do, Kia?”
“I want you to leave it alone,” I lie.
“Nah, you don’t. You want that magic of last summer back, when there was nothing that mattered except us. I know deep down you want nothing more than to turn around right now and grab me and kiss me the way you used to. You want to remember was it was like not to have a care about anything other than the person right in front of you. You want it as much as I do. I want to wake up each morning knowing you’re mine and I’m yours. I want you to fall asleep in my arms again just so I can hold you and kiss your forehead. We both know you want everything I do. You’re just better at hiding it than I am.”
He’s pushing. He just keeps on pushing, and I have to give in. I’ll give him what he wants. I turn so I can see him. So I can look him in the eyes.
“I want it, Reese, all right?” I shout. “Is that what you wanted? Are you happy now? I’ve admitted it. I want it all again! But I can’t have it. I can’t do that, so that’s why I “run,” as you put it. I’m protectin’ myself.”
“You’re hurtin’ yourself, and me. This summer, Kia…”
“But it won’t be just this summer!” I yell. “It won’t be one summer, Reese. It’ll be now, and next year, and the year after. I wanna be around you, but not like that.” I look down. “Friends, Reese. I wanna laugh and joke like we used to. I can’t have more.”
“Why?”
“Because the more I have, the more I want.” I look back up, and he’s right in front of me. “And I can’t have any more than I’ve already had.”
He sighs. “Kia, baby,” he whispers. “You’ve already got it all.”
His breath fans across my lips, and I breathe in.
“Then maybe its best if I give it back,” I whisper. I turn from him, pushing the screen door open and walking through. I slide it closed behind me, glancing up at his still figure for one last time. I hold his searing gaze for a second before his lips move, forming silent words.
“I won’t take it back,” he mouths. “Think about that.”
He jumps from the porch, disappearing around the side of the house.
~
Luce chews her way absently through a Twizzler and props her feet up on her coffee table. “So he turned up? Just like that?”
“Yep.”
“And then left?”
“Yep.”
“Damn.” She shakes her head in amusement.
“What’s so funny?” I demand, picking at the packet of Nerds on my lap.
“You’ve been back a week or so, and he’s already on chase mode.” She rips a bite of her Twizzler off and continues to speak through her mouthful. “He’s like, what do you call it?”
“Uh, persistent?”
“Well he’s definitely that. I tried to warn you, Kia.”
“Don’t do that “I told you so” shit with me, Luce. I knew he would say something, but I didn’t think it would be quite like that. And I sure as hell didn’t expect him to kiss me before that all came out.” I sigh.
“Admit it!” she cries. “Just admit you had no idea what he’d do and that you still want him.”
I half-scream, half-groan, and curl my face into the side of her sofa.
“When did the dinosaurs come back?” Leo, Luce’s brother, questions as he strolls into the room. I grab a nerd from my packet and pointlessly throw it in his direction.
“Fuck off, Leo,” Luce snaps.
“I’m just passing through!” he replies. “Y’know, squirt, it’s my house, too!”
Luce gives him an evil look as he walks through into the kitchen, and I grin a little.
“Oh, how I’ve missed your bantering ways.”
“You’re not off the hook, girl. I’m taking your groan as admission of still wanting Reese Pembleton.”
“I’m pretty sure I came here for support, not to be pressured into getting with Reese,” I grumble.
“I’m not pressuring,” she counters. “I just want you to admit.”
“I already did.”
“What? When?” She sits upright, staring at me.
“Yesterday.”
“Oh no.”
I purse my lips. “Oh yes.”
“You told him you still wanted him?”
I open my mouth, then close it again, nodding instead.
Her eyes bug, a piece of Twizzler falling out of her mouth and onto her lap. “So why the f**k are you here with a face like a smacked ass, and not cuddled up against his very, very lickable body?!”
My lips twitch. God, I’ve missed her. “Because I told him I couldn’t have him. And I’m stickin’ to it, Luce. I mean it.”