Preface
I needed to let go, to release her hand, but first I had to release my gaze from those beautiful blue eyes. I willed her to understand, to see in my eyes the words I could not say. She needed to realize that, no matter what happened, she would never have to release my heart. I squeezed her hand one more time before letting go.
Chapter One
Charlotte
I still wasn’t used to the darkness. Back home, a hint of light always streamed through my blinds, either from another house, a street light, or the moon. No light seeped into the inside of Cason Caves.
I pulled my blanket tighter around me, trying to ward off the cold caused by the unsettling remnants of a dream. I seemed to always wake up in the middle of the night. I finally gave up on the tossing and turning and went to find some water.
“You couldn’t sleep either?”
I followed the voice and found Liam sitting at the mouth of the cave. He was using the little bit of moonlight to read a book. He looked so much older than he had the year before, when we first returned to Charleston. Maybe it was the stubble on his face, or how his hair had grown out. I wondered if I looked older, too. “Don’t you know reading in low light can hurt your eyes?”
“Don’t you know that reading is better than going crazy, rolling around in bed?”
I laughed, wondering if he had any idea of how poorly I’d been sleeping. “You may have a point there.”
He patted the space next to him. “How are you doing?”
I took a seat. “I’m all right. I’m nervous. I’m worried about James—nothing new.” What I didn’t tell him was that I’d just had a nightmare about him and Calvin. Some people had nightmares of being completely naked in front of a crowd. I dreamed about being in love with two boys. I knew how pathetic that sounded, and considering everything else going on in my life, it was, but having both Calvin and Liam with me sent my emotions out of control.
Only a few weeks had passed since the battle at Cason’s Cave, but it could have been a year for all of the plans that were already in place. We’d managed to hold off Blake, but the fight was far from over. Since we had discovered his army of the undead and his ability to use powers equal to my own, the stakes had risen even higher.
Once again, Kevin and I were going our separate ways. Liam insisted on staying with me. It was appropriate for him to insist—he was one of my Guardians after all—but the trip would be unbelievably awkward since Calvin would also be with us. I needed to stop worrying about it. I was with my Gerard, and I had far more important things to focus on.
“James is going to be okay. We’ll find a way to save him.” There was more conviction in Liam’s voice than I would have expected.
“I’m glad you’re going with me.”
“Me too.” He ran a finger over my left hand.
I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong by letting him touch me. I knew the gentle caress was more than a friendly gesture, but it wasn’t like we were kissing. Sometimes I was so confused I could scream.
“Do you really think Ruth left the scroll for you?” Liam asked.
I’d been mulling that question over in my head for days. After scouring every book and talking to the oldest members of the Resistance, we kept coming up with the same evidence. We needed to find a scroll written by the original Essence. Supposedly, the document contained information directly from the Source. No one knew what the scroll contained, but it was said to be intended for only the direst of circumstances. Everyone agreed that our situation qualified.
“It seems crazy that she would have left a scroll for me hundreds of years before I was born, but everything about being an Essence is crazy. All I know is that, if there’s actually something that could tell us how to defeat Blake, we need to find it.”
“And we will.”
“I just wish we could all travel together. Wouldn’t it be so much easier?” I hated that Kevin was going to Alaska instead of with us.
Liam’s arm brushed against mine. “Yeah, easier but way too time consuming. Kevin has his own job to do.”
Closing my eyes, I cleared my head. “I just hope we’re both successful, and that this actually works.”
“We don’t have any other choice right now. I guess we might as well think positive thoughts.”
“Thanks for the pep talk.”
“Well, you don’t have James to do it… since he was all about the pep talks.”
He turned his face away from me slightly, but I had a feeling Liam was smiling. He knew that talking about James usually motivated me to action. I played with the fabric of my dress. Pajamas weren’t something I had at the moment. “I miss him.”
“Do you want to go see him?”
I stretched out my legs. “How’d you know?”
“From the look in your eyes.”
I rested my back against the cool rock. “Am I that obvious?”
“When you feel strongly enough about something, your eyes always give it away.” He dropped my hand.
“True.” I tried not to think about what other thoughts might be clear on my face. “You think it’s okay if we go?”
He leaned back. “Why not? It’s not like he’ll mind the late visit.”
I stood up. “So not funny.”
“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” He pushed my leg playfully. “Aren’t you going to help me up?”
“Sure.” I held out a hand, but when he took it, he pulled, and I ended up half in his lap. “So not funny again.”
“Where’s your sense of humor?”
“I think it’s sleeping.”
He laughed. “Maybe it can share its secret with us.”
For a moment, our lips were so close they could have been touching. The near electricity shooting between us made everything even worse. I quickly got to my feet. He joined me a moment later.
We moved through the darkness. It hadn’t taken long to memorize the passages of the cave, even though they all seemed exactly alike when we first arrived. We quickly found the small enclave where James was sleeping.
He lay on a cot—the same kind we all slept on. It was wood, and made for portability. Comfort wasn’t one of its features, and the thin mattress didn’t help. A lantern lit the entrance of his room.
Liam leaned against the wall. “I’ll wait for you out here.”
“Thanks.” I was glad he was giving me space. I wanted to see James alone.