She put a hand on my arm. “I know you can. But I’m your Mom. That means it’s my job to worry.”
Liam came over and threw an arm over my shoulder. “She’ll be safe with us, Mrs. C.”
The fact that he was doing that meant one thing—Calvin wasn’t around. I couldn’t help but notice the way his black cotton shirt clung to his chest. I shook myself, but not before Mom gave me a small smile. She’d caught me. She didn’t seem to think my attraction to Liam was a big deal, but I did.
Mom turned to him. “I know that, Liam. But we’ve only just been reunited. I don’t want to say goodbye again.”
“This is going to be the last time. We’re going to end this.” I didn’t know where the conviction came from, but I felt deep inside that my words were true.
“I know we are.” Mom beamed.
“Besides, we’re only going to be gone a few days. We just have to find the scroll at Ruth’s old house, right?”
Mom nodded, but the worried expression remained on her face. “You still need to be careful. Remember that you have to use your abilities sparingly. Every time you use your powers, you risk the possibility of exposing your location to Blake. If he happens to be close…”
“I know he’s a Cipher, Mom.”
We’d also come to accept that Blake was something that was thought to exist only in legend. He was the antithesis to an Essence—to me. She was right, but I hated the thought of not being able to use my abilities. It was the only way I ever felt useful. Otherwise I was more of a burden than an asset.
I pushed those thoughts away. “We’ll be careful,” I said. “Do you even need to say that? It’s me we’re talking about.”
“Yeah, and you did wander through the gate you were explicitly told to stay away from.”
“True, but that’s different.” I ran my hand through my knotted hair. I was in desperate need of a brush or something to tie up my hair. Mom read my mind and handed me a piece of leather. I used it to pull my unruly locks into a messy bun. It would have to do.
I also needed a bath, but I wasn’t interested in another icy plunge in the river. I’d already had my one bath of the week in the caves. I could have used the Essence card to get someone to heat water for me, but it was such an ordeal that I didn’t want to deal with it.
“How is it different?” she asked.
I shrugged. “It just is.” It seemed a lifetime ago that I had stepped through the old garden gate. I’d had no idea at the time how huge a step it really was, how much would change. I glanced around the small clearing where we stood, mere steps from a thick fern grotto. Sometimes something as simple as the foliage reminded me of how far we were from home.
“How’s the coffee?” Liam took the mug from my hand and sipped it. “Nice.”
“Get your own.”
He grinned. “Why? Never learned to share?”
I pulled my mug back from him, nearly burning us both in the process.
“Okay, I forgot. I shouldn’t try to come between you and coffee.”
I laughed. “You of all people should know that.”
Mom just smiled again. Maybe watching us let her imagine what I was like when the weight of all the worlds wasn’t on my back.
Henry reappeared with a heavy pack slung across his back. “I think we’ve got everything.”
I was glad he’d be around to help keep things light. Without James, I needed that. Henry and I had become good friends in the year he’d spent in Charleston. I’d missed his humor on my last journey.
I glanced around for my Gerard. “Where’s Calvin?” I could feel his presence, so I knew he couldn’t be far.
Henry dropped his pack on the ground. “He’s getting the horses ready.”
My chest clenched at the word horses. It brought back memories of my first time on a horse—with James. Even though I’d learned to keep the truth to myself, James’s comatose state was one of the biggest motivations to find the scroll. All I knew was that I was the only one who’d be able to understand the writing, and that without it, we had no clue how to vanquish Blake. I tried to stay positive, but part of me was terrified I wouldn’t be able to read it. I wanted to defeat Blake, but I also needed to save James. As unbelievably annoying as he could be, he was one of my best friends, and he was only unconscious because he had protected me.
“You okay?” Liam asked gently. He was always able to figure out what I was feeling, no matter how hard I tried to hide my emotions. I wished he couldn’t. Sharing my feelings wasn’t high on my to-do list.
I forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. If we’re that close to leaving, I need to find Kevin and Monty.”
“I’ll come with you. I think they’re getting ready to leave soon, too.” Mom gestured for me to head inside ahead of her. She didn’t actually say it aloud, but I knew she was nervous about Kevin seeing Dad. She wanted to go with him, just as she wanted to go with me, but she needed to stay with the Resistance. Someone from our family needed to be there. It wasn’t an edict or anything, but the presence of a Winthrop gave some more authority to the group—helped the morale a little. Monty had offered to stay, but Mom figured he’d have a better shot at helping Kevin. I wondered if she was afraid to face Dad. Her getting kidnapped obviously wasn’t her fault, but she had left him with a heavy burden to bear.
“There you are.” Kevin’s tall form nearly took up the entire mouth of the cave.
I crossed my arms. “You make it sound like you’ve been looking for me.”
He stretched his arms above his head. “I have. I feel like I’ve barely seen you, and now we’re leaving again.”
I shrugged, trying to play off just how much I agreed with him. “You know what they say, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’”
“I think I’d prefer to hate you than to have to leave you here.” He led the way back inside. Liam and Henry stayed outside. They probably assumed we needed some family time.
“Aww, how sweet.” I still had to give my brother a hard time sometimes. Old habits die hard.
“So, Mom. How do you feel about Charlotte going off with three guys?”
Mom shook her head. “Considering one’s her Gerard, I’m not too worried. I should probably be more worried about you.”
“Afraid Samantha’s going to take advantage of me?” He laughed.