My mind was busy with unanswerable questions, keeping me from acknowledging the most awesome and awful one—had I really changed fate?
* * *
We got there around twelve. Lunchtime. Perfect.
“Drive toward the buildings,” I told him.
Lucas found parking on the street, squeezing his car into a just-big-enough spot. “We’ve got to feed the meter,” he said. “How long do you want to stay?”
I had already started scanning the people on the street, feeling jittery and distracted. “Whatever you think.”
“I have no idea, Cassandra,” he said shortly. “You tell me. How long will we be here?”
“I don’t know, Lucas. How about two hours? Three?” I figured if I was going to see one, it would happen now, while all the businesspeople were out, getting their lunch and running errands.
He dropped the coins in and waited for me to lead the way. We walked down the wide sidewalks, trying to stay in the shade, little protection from the blazing July heat that seemed worse here, contained by concrete. People walked slower in the Midwest than they had in Pennsylvania, groups of suited men and women meandering to cafés, delis, and restaurants.
Lucas and I followed, crisscrossing streets aimlessly until I found a small park that seemed near the center of things.
“Let’s just sit for a little,” I told him. “This’ll be a good spot to watch.”
We sat. And sat. And sat.
“Mind if I read?” Lucas asked after we’d been there nearly an hour.
I shrugged. What did it matter? He didn’t need to see anything. I had tried a little conversation, but Lucas was not a willing participant and I was too anxious to work at it. People were everywhere, even more than I’d have expected on such a hot day. Men and women shed suit jackets to linger by the benches, talking on cell phones or in groups of twos and threes. There were older people too, with crossword puzzles and crumbs for the city birds. Mothers strolled by, kids played ball. I must have seen hundreds of people in the two and a half hours we were there, all of them perfectly dull. Not a sign of the mark.
Lucas laid aside his papers with a sigh. “Nothing, huh?” His tone told me it was exactly as he’d suspected.
“No. Sometimes it’s like this, Lucas. It can be weeks, months, between times that I see it …”
“Uh-huh.”
“Maybe we should go to a hospital. I mean, there’s sure to be someone there …”
“And do what, Cassandra? Wander the halls, poking into all the rooms? What are you going to say you’re doing there, assuming you can even get past security and onto a floor?”
He was right, of course. I remembered the layers of checkpoints from my visits to Nan.
He sighed again and glanced at his watch. “Listen, why don’t we hit the road? It’s a long—”
“Cassie?” another voice interrupted. I looked up, startled. It took me a minute to adjust to the glare of the sun over his right shoulder. I hadn’t seen him approaching, only looking for light, not faces. How he picked me out, I can’t imagine. The unlikeliest of people in the unlikeliest place.
“Oh my God,” I gasped. “Jack Petroski.”
I stood and he bent to give me a hug, our heads bumping awkwardly.
“Ouch!” I rubbed my forehead.
He smiled. “What on earth are you doing here?” He looked great, his tanned face scruffy where I was used to seeing him clean-shaven. It made him seem a little rougher, older.
“I … uh … I’m staying here. Well, not here, but in Kansas. Bering. It’s a town two hours or so north of here. And we …” I had forgotten about Lucas, who was watching us, a little amused, mostly annoyed. “This is Lucas,” I said belatedly. “My boyfriend.”
“Nice to meet you.” Jack offered his hand.
Lucas shook it, but didn’t stand.
“What are you doing here?” I asked quickly. Lucas looked back down at his papers, but I could tell he wasn’t reading.
“Visiting Wichita State. My parents are back on campus with the financial people and I’m meeting up with some of the guys from the baseball program who’re still around. Kind of a tour of the town thing.”
“They have a good team?”
“One of the best. And they really seem to want me.”
“That’s awesome, Jack. I’m so happy for you.” We stood there, smiling at each other stupidly. If Lucas hadn’t been listening to every word, there were a million things I’d have asked Jack. It was so good to see someone from home. To see him.
“So.” Jack looked a little more serious, oblivious to the awkwardness of Lucas being so close. “Is this where you came when you disappeared?”
I nodded, surprised he would put it like that. Surprised he’d noticed, really. I mean, school had been almost over. I was sure Jack would have been wrapped up in exams, State finals, that kind of stuff.
“I wondered about you. I was kind of worried, to tell you the truth.”
I smiled, but felt a pinprick of tears. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I just remember the last time we talked. After Nan. I could tell how hard it was for you …”
I remembered too. The warmth of Jack’s sweatshirt. The clean, earthy smell. “Yeah, well, it’s better now.”
He smiled. “I guess. You look great.”
Lucas stood then. “We should get going, Cassandra. It’s a long drive back.”
“Right.” I glanced at him, could tell he was pissed. I didn’t know whether it was about Jack or the day or what. I turned back to Jack, wanting to stay, wondering about seeing him here, about fate dealing me this rather than what I’d come looking for. “It was great to see you,” I told him.
“You too, Cassie. When’re you coming back? I mean …” He glanced at Lucas. “You are coming back, right?”
“Sure,” I said, not at all feeling so.
“Good.” Jack smiled, pulling out a scrap of paper, a receipt from a sports shop, I saw later, and jotting some notes on it. “Here.” He passed it to me. “That’s my cell and e-mail. Call me or something.” He glanced at Lucas, looking away, arms folded. “When you’ve got more time.”
I tucked it away. “I will.” And then, because I had to know, I asked, “So, how’s everyone at home?”
“Great,” he said. “Been hanging out a lot with the guys from the team. We won States, you know.”