His longer strides overtook her a few blocks from the apartment building, where the winding suburban lane blended into a busy cross-street. He caught her elbow. She ripped her arm from his grip and spun to face him, panting. Pedestrians bumped and jostled past them, shooting annoyed glances at the two living, breathing roadblocks barring the way to the crosswalk.
“What do you want now?” Rebecca snarled.
“To talk. To set things straight. That’s all.” He held both hands up. “Please. I’m just asking you to listen, that’s all.”
She worked her jaw with a suspicious look, then sniffed and looked away. Her arms folded over her chest. She said nothing.
It wasn’t a no.
That was something, at least.
Tony gathered himself, tried to speak, and ended up just blowing out his breath in a frustrated laugh. “Crap. Now that I’ve got you here, I suck at these speeches.”
“My heart is melting already. Really.”
“Rebecca.”
God, he had it bad. Even when she was spitting acid, he loved it. Or he was insane. Either could explain the fact that he couldn’t stop smiling.
“I love you,” he blurted. “I know you don’t love me, or even believe me. But I need you to know. You think no one can love you unless you’re perfect. No one would ever need you. You’re wrong. You’re a shitty angel.” He thought he saw a little twitch at the corner of her mouth, and his smile widened. “You curse. You’ve got a temper like a wildcat. You’re a klutz who couldn’t walk in a straight line to save her life. But you’re a perfect Rebecca…and I love you. Just that way. I love you, and I need you. And so does Miranda.”
She took a step back and averted her eyes. “That was pretty. Really, it was. And maybe you’re right. I’m a shitty angel. But you’re wrong, too. You don’t love me.”
“I do. You can see if I’m lying, Rebecca. You can know me in ways a human can’t. I’m telling the truth.” He closed the distance between them, and smoothed his hands over her shoulders. “Look into my heart. Just…take a chance on me. Please.”
Her eyes glimmered with tears. “No. I can’t. I can’t take a chance on anyone. Not again. And I can’t see your heart. You aren’t…you aren’t my assignment anymore. You aren’t my problem.”
Pain darted through him in bright needles. He was offering everything he could to prove to her that he loved her. He couldn’t force her to believe him. He’d already made that mistake once. Never again.
She’d made her choice, and he’d have to live with it.
“Maybe I was wrong.” His smile now felt like it was branded into his face, a painful sickle. “Maybe you’ll make a great angel. You’ve got the determination.” He reached up to cup her cheek, one last time. “Good luck. I mean that. If you’re happy, then…I’ll be happy for you.”
“Tony…” She faltered, and took a step closer. Her lower lip crept between her teeth. “Hold on.”
“Don’t. Don’t second-guess now, Rebecca. I won’t be the reason you made the wrong choice.” He forced himself turn away from her. It wasn’t her fault he’d fallen for her. Wasn’t her fault he loved her so much it killed him to let her go. “Sally’s watching Miranda. I’ll…I’ll let her know you’re ready to go, and send her down.”
“Tony, please wait!”
Tony was never quite sure what happened next. He knew he turned. He knew there was a woman on her cell phone, shoving one of those multi-munchkin strollers that needed its own four-lane highway, hardly paying attention. He would always recall, with exact clarity, when one of the oversized, colorful wheels clipped Rebecca’s calf. And the razor flash of the street lamps off the grille of the speeding Dodge Caravan? Burned into his memory.
But he’d never quite know how he made it to Rebecca in less time than it took to breathe. He wouldn’t remember wrapping his arms around her, shoving her out of the way. He had only the thinnest recollection of losing his balance, overwhelmed by his relief that she was safe, sprawled on the sidewalk. Then he was going down, and steel-threaded tires were racing towards his head. He heard a scream of his name, and the screech of rubber on pavement.
Then everything was darkness and agonizing fire, and the noise of sirens. He felt a warm hand slip into his own, and forced his eyes to open. Everything was so dim, but Rebecca wore a halo of flame, her hair glowing in the street lights as she leaned over him. Her tears were so bright. Like liquid silver, falling down onto his cheeks.
“You idiot,” she sobbed. “What were you thinking?”
“Don’t worry.” His voice felt like molasses, sticking to the insides of his throat and refusing to come out. His lips were so numb he wasn’t sure if he was speaking the words or imagining them. “I—I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” she whispered. “You saved my life.”
“Does that make me an angel, too?”
He tried to smile, but her face crumpled. She said nothing, and he knew he was already losing her. Then the paramedics were there, nudging Rebecca out of the way, their hands on Tony. He kept his eyes on Rebecca as he was lifted into the ambulance. Then he closed his eyes and laid his head back against the pallet. She was gone. Out of his life. At least he’d been able to do one more thing for her. The pain in his body throbbed in tandem with the beat of his aching heart. Before long, he couldn’t tell where one pain started and the other began.
Nor did he give a damn.
Chapter Eleven
Angel Rule #11: Know your course in life.
Rebecca sat on the moist grass and stared sightlessly at her mother’s tombstone. If things had turned out differently, she could be staring at Tony’s. She’d be blaming herself for his death. Blaming herself for not saving him.
Instead of wondering if she could ever trust him again.
When she’d heard Sally’s voice, she’d thought the beautiful woman could only be Tony’s lover. Then, when she saw Sally’s face, something snapped in her brain, connecting all the missing pieces, and the memories had crashed down on her—a lifetime compressed into seconds and forced into her brain. Including the last week, and everything Tony had done to keep her ignorant of her true purpose in life.
She’d felt like a prize in the grudge match between angels and humans, and the humans had almost won. Rebecca had come so close to falling. She might not have slept with Tony, but she’d wanted to. Burned to. And she’d loved every second of it—until she’d found out what a lying, manipulative ass**le he was.