“I wasn’t going to—”
“I saved your daughter’s life, Tony. I was injured. Vulnerable. I’d forgotten everything, and you took advantage of that! You made me think I had some sort of meaningful relationship with you!” Her anger wouldn’t let her stop. It poured out of her in a violent torrent. “You led me on, stringing me along like some marionette this whole time. You’ve always wanted me to want you, and it burned you that you couldn’t have me. So I bet this made it perfect for you. I bet you loved watching me scramble after you. Your arrogance is unbelievable. You’re disgusting.”
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He looked away—at Sally, at the wall—as if searching for answers there. “I wanted to protect you,” he said slowly. “You wouldn’t have believed me if I’d told you what you are. Just like I didn’t believe you.”
“You could’ve tried!” Rebecca cried. She couldn’t see through the haze of tears, and she swiped at her eyes clumsily. “You could have had a little faith and told me the truth, instead of lying to me. You let me believe I loved you, and that maybe you’d grow to love me. How could you?”
His shoulders drooped. “Not maybe,” he whispered.
“What?”
His fists clenched until his knuckles strained against his tanned skin. “Not maybe. I love you. I didn’t plan to, but I do. That’s why I couldn’t let you go. Not after you saved Miranda, and I owed you so much. And that…that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to ruin you.”
Rebecca stared at him. He loved her? A cold shock went through her. He loved her. If she still had the ability to look into his mind, into his heart, would she see the truth there?
No. Of course she wouldn’t. And she wouldn’t make the mistake of believing him twice, no matter how her heart ached with longing.
How stupid could she get?
“Nice try,” she said. “But don’t embarrass yourself. The only person you love is yourself. Why don’t you just admit that that’s why Jane really left you?”
Sally inhaled sharply. “Rebecca, your temper. There’s no need to be unnecessarily—”
“No.” Rebecca watched Tony unblinkingly. His head hung low, his eyes on the floor, so empty. “I want to hear his excuse this time. I want to hear the lie I almost destroyed my life for.”
Tony shook his head. “There’s no lie. There’s nothing I can say.”
“At least you know to quit when you’re ahead.” The words tasted foul and ugly in Rebecca’s mouth. “I wish I’d never met you. I wish I’d never tried to save you. You were right. There’s nothing worth saving here.”
“You’re right,” Tony whispered. Was he faking the tears, too? Just to make her chest twist and tighten that way? “I’m not worth saving. I’m sorry, Rebecca. I’m sorry I was too selfish to let you go.”
Rebecca faltered and retreated a step. The pain in his voice was too real. The regret. She jerked her gaze away and turned her back on him. She couldn’t stand to look at him. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I’m leaving. Good-bye, Tony.”
“Rebecca!”
She ran down the hallway with the sound of her name chasing on her heels, nearly drowned by the noise of her own broken sobs.
…
She was gone.
Tony watched the door to the stairwell close, banging shut with cold finality. The door itself was a tear-blurred smudge of blue and white. He’d screwed things up royally, and he had no one to blame but himself. He’d done everything wrong. He’d thought he could protect her, keep her safe from the kind of pain she’d known before. Instead he’d made her hate him for his lies, for pretending to love her. He wished it had been an act. Then he wouldn’t feel her loss so deeply, as if he’d been gutted.
She was gone, and he would never get her back.
Because he’d only cared about himself. She’d been right. He’d decided the best course of action for her. He’d planned her life for her, because he’d thought she couldn’t do it for herself. He’d let himself believe, as long as he showed her the way he thought was right, that she’d come to love him and they’d live happily ever after.
What a joke.
“Happily ever after” was a fairy tale. He’d been stupid to think otherwise, even if only for a few days.
And stupid to think he could create this false life with Rebecca.
Sally cleared her throat. He roused from his miserable daze and looked at her. Her sympathetic gaze and the pity in her eyes only made things worse. He didn’t know what to say to her. What he possibly could say to her. So he just gave up, opened his apartment door, and went inside.
Sally had won.
He shut the door behind him, walked to the sofa on numb legs, and dropped onto the cushions. He buried his face in his hands. He’d ruined everything. Lost the only woman who could ever make him care about life again. She’d managed to make him believe again. In faith. In people. In himself.
He’d blown it.
He’d just wanted to show her that he loved her as she was. She’d told him about her life before Sally, and how many people had let her down. She’d had this idea that if she was an angel, if she was pure and good and perfect, someone would finally need her. But she wasn’t pure. She wasn’t good. She wasn’t perfect. She had a wildfire temper, cursed like a sailor, and could do things with her tongue that would get Tony sent straight to hell. She was flawed and human and out of her damned mind—and he loved her that way.
Loved her too much to just give up on her.
The apartment door opened. He stood quickly, heart leaping in his chest with the desperate hope that it was Rebecca. Sally leaned in the doorway, tilting her head to the side and studying him with a one-sided smile.
“It took you long enough,” she said, and cocked her chin toward the hall. “I swear, you humans are remarkably thick. Go on. She can’t have gotten far. I’ll watch Miranda.”
His smile felt like it would crack his face open. Sally’s was more reserved, but she patted his arm when he edged past her and pelted down the hall.
No sign of Rebecca. He took the stairs two at a time and spilled out onto the sidewalk, only to catch a glimpse of red hair disappearing around the corner.
“Rebecca, wait!” he called out, and bolted after her.
She didn’t wait. He hadn’t expected her to. Stubborn, stubborn woman, but that was what he loved about her.