“What if I don’t want you to?” Rebecca rose, drawing closer, her heart in her throat. “Tony, if you’re part of my memories…what if I need you to be close to me? What if I need you to kiss me, touch me?”
He froze, watching her like a cornered animal, eyes dark and desperate. “Please, Rebecca. It’s not that simple. After you remember—”
“Not after,” Rebecca said, and curled her hands in his shirt. “Now.”
And, pulling him down, she kissed him.
She knew she shouldn’t do this. Knew she was being rash, impulsive. But she was tired of not knowing what to think, what to feel. Tired of feeling so empty. Kissing Tony erased her questions until she knew exactly what to feel, exactly what she wanted.
She wanted him.
She fit her mouth to his with a needy sigh, and arched her body to press close. He was so tense, and for a brief second she feared he’d pull away. Instead he groaned, wrapped his arms around her, and dragged her body against his. His lips locked to hers and his tongue traced the line of her mouth, urging her to open to him. She surrendered willingly and he swept into her, delving deep and exploring her with a thoroughness that left her weak.
Yes, she thought, gasping and curling her hands against his shoulders. God, yes. This felt right. This felt true, and she silently begged that he wouldn’t let go or thrust her away again. His kiss tore through that lonely blackness inside her and filled her with him. Filled her with love.
She might not know who she was—but in this moment, Rebecca knew one thing without a doubt.
She loved Tony Weis, and wanted him to love her, too.
…
Tony suppressed a groan. He’d tried to resist her. Tried to resist his own urges, when his body demanded that he take everything she offered and more. This was wrong. When Rebecca regained her memory, she’d hate him. She’d feel betrayed, used, lied to.
And she’d leave him.
But her mouth was hot and damp on his right now, so willing, so delicious, and he couldn’t break away. Not when every taste of her ignited him. He wanted her. He needed her. Christ, if he made love to her tonight, would she hate him later? He’d hurt her if he pushed her away now, but she’d understand later. Understand that he loved her enough not to want to compromise her. Loved her enough that he didn’t want to be with her unless they did this right, and with her full knowledge and consent.
Wait. Love?
Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could he fall in love with Rebecca Chance? How could he fall in love with an angel?
How could he be enough of an idiot to fall in love with a woman he could never have?
That was it. He had to stop this now, before he lost all self-control and couldn’t stop. It was for her own good, he told himself, but still his hands shook as he grasped her wrists, parted their lips, and gently pried her away. She looked up at him, her eyes glazed, her lips swollen from their kiss.
Son of a bitch.
He looked away—anywhere but at her soft, inviting mouth. Focusing on the wall over her shoulder, he said, “I can’t do this. You wouldn’t be so eager if you were aware of your past. I know that much.”
“What’s in my past that would stop me from being with my boyfriend?” Her voice was bitter and confused. “Isn’t this what couples normally do? Or did I forget that, too?”
“Yes. No. I mean…not us.” Tony swallowed, released her, and stepped out of her reach. “We haven’t been together before now. Not like that. Which is why I can’t—won’t—touch you. If you still want me when your memory returns, I’ll be here. I promise.”
He held his breath and silently begged her not to push anymore. To leave him be. Good intentions or not, he only had so much willpower.
Rebecca turned her back on him with a hurt little sniff. “Fine. Can we just go to bed?”
“You can.” Tony couldn’t trust himself in bed with her. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Seriously?” She shot a look over her shoulder. He caught the tremor of her lips. “You won’t even sleep next to me?”
“I can’t. I can’t take that chance. You may hate me for it now, but you’ll understand later.”
“Fine,” she choked out, and flung herself away from him.
He hated watching her walk away. Hated the tension and hurt practically singing through every line of her with each step that took her down the hall and away from him. When the door to his bedroom slammed shut behind her, the sound ripped through him like a shot.
Damn it.
Tony sank down on the couch and rubbed his temples. He’d never felt like a bigger ass**le for doing the right thing. Somehow he doubted that, when Sally had sent Rebecca to him, she’d meant to test his morals in quite this way.
If resisting Rebecca was making him a better person, then being a better person sucked.
Just a short while ago, he’d have taken full advantage of her and felt not a moment’s guilt. Sex was just sex. A few moments of mutual satisfaction before they parted ways, and if she was willing, he couldn’t be blamed.
Only he knew he could. Even worse, she’d be devastated, and the look in her eyes when she realized he’d broken her trust…he’d never be able to live with himself if she looked at him that way. Far better was the way she’d looked at him after he kissed her, her eyes molten and dark with need. The memory alone was enough to make lust simmer and boil at his core, and he let out another frustrated groan.
God damn it, why did being good have to feel so bad?
Chapter Seven
Angel rule #7: Always act quickly; never falter in your convictions.
Rebecca curled up in one corner of the couch and watched the sun set through the window. She felt like she was looking through a picture window, out on a world that wasn’t quite real. Had she ever felt this lost before? Had she known what to do, then?
Like knowing that would help her now. Useless questions. She was full of useless questions, and not one of them made her any less alone, afraid, or uncertain.
What had she done with her life before her memory loss? Did she have a career she loved—or was that part of her life a wreck, too? She needed to figure out what it was she did, so she could get a job. Make some money. Not be an anchor weighing Tony and Miranda down.
But…what did she do?
Yawning, she rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t slept last night. She couldn’t. The bed was too big for her, and full of Tony’s scent. All she’d been able to think about was him, out there alone on the couch. Logically, she understood why he’d kept her at a distance—and why, this morning, he’d acted like nothing had happened. He’d smiled and kissed her cheek before leaving for work, and she’d tried so hard not to scream at him. Tried so hard not to break down, because she understood all too well.