My grandmother’s words came back to me then. The words she’d spoken when she found out I was immune to the apple stake she’d slammed into my chest. The words that encapsulated everything she’d felt and thought of me all these years but had never spoken until that moment.
You’re an abomination!
The dam broke. A tidal wave of pent-up anger overcame me, and suddenly I was drowning in it. I needed to punch something. My veins filled with lava. My fists clenched into rocks. My chest filled to bursting with a scream I’d been holding back for five decades. I choked on it, refusing to let Rhea watch me implode.
Rhea saw the change, of course. But she didn’t back away or cower. Surprising, since I was so angry my eyes were practically glowing. “How you feeling?” she asked.
It was hard to speak. My jaw ached from clamping my teeth together. “Like I want to kill someone.” Not just anyone. Lavinia Kane. I wanted to wound her. I wanted to maim her. I wanted to watch her bleed. But most of all, I wanted her to know some of the pain she’d imposed on me my whole life.
Rhea nodded. “Okay, good. Now I want you to embrace that anger.”
The muscles shook. My fingers itched to strangle something—or someone. “I need to punch something. Hard.”
“Close your eyes.”
My head jerked side to side. Surrendering to these emotions would make me insane. I knew it.
“Sabina, listen to me. Close your eyes. Good. Now take a deep breath.”
Air rasped into my lungs, scraping my windpipe raw.
“Now I want you to visualize collecting your anger into a glowing ball in the center of yourself.”
I did as instructed, desperate for something to help alleviate the intensity. Imagining the anger as red neon filling my body, I concentrated on pulling it up through my legs and arms and spine. I collected it into a swirling mass in my diaphragm. I placed a hand over the spot and felt intense heat boiling under the skin.
“Now, when you feel something coming at you, I want you to imagine shooting it down with that mass of energy you’ve gathered. But whatever you do, do not open your eyes.”
A metal ball hit me in the arm before I could formulate a reply.
My eyes flew open. “Godsdammit!”
“I warned you,” she said. A band of cloth suddenly stretched across my eyes. I tried to rip it off, but it wouldn’t budge. Fucking mages.
Slam. This one hit my chest.
“Fuck!”
“Focus!” Rhea shouted.
Bam! My shoulder.
I took a step, intent on finding Rhea and throttling her, blindfold or no. But something weird happened. My ears picked out something whistling through the air. Without thinking, I stepped to the right, and the ball whizzed past me. A split second later, glass shattered somewhere behind me.
“You’ll be paying for that window and anything else that breaks from now on.”
“You’re a real bitch, you know that?”
“Believe it or not, you’re not the first”—Whack! Pain radiated through my ribs—“person to tell me that.”
I sucked in a deep breath and cringed. She must have cracked a rib with that last one. I needed to do something before she did any more damage. The orb of anger pulsated in my center. I stoked the flame now, remembering Rhea’s advice. Another ball whirled through the air. I focused on the sound, picturing the ball coming at me. Then I imagined sending a bolt of rage at it. The hair on my arms prickled, and electricity shot down my spine.
“Oh, shit!” Rhea shouted. A crash sounded, followed by a loud thump.
I cocked my head. “What happened?”
Rhea groaned. “You missed.”
“Are you okay?” Another groan. I clawed at the blindfold. A tingle passed across my face and the cloth disappeared. I blinked a couple of times before I could focus. I looked around and found Rhea lying on the floor next to a hunk of twisted metal and broken glass. I rushed over.
“You’re bleeding.” I touched the smear of red at her temple. She winced.
“No shit, Sherlock. You shot down the light fixture.”
“Rhea, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.”
She stopped dabbing at her temple to look me in the eyes. “I’ll tell you what happened. You used magic. Granted, we need to work on your aim, but this is a major breakthrough. You should be proud of yourself.”
I shook my head. Guilt outweighed any sense of triumph. “I think we need to get you some medical attention.”
She waved me away when I tried to help her up. I hovered nearby as she pulled herself to her feet. “Don’t be silly. We need to keep work—oh.” She wobbled and reached out. I grabbed her arm to steady her. “Okay, maybe I could use an aspirin or something.”
I wrapped an arm around her, ignoring the bruises she’d put there. “Let’s get you to your rooms and I’ll have Maisie come take a look just to be safe.”
Rhea swallowed. “Okay, but don’t think this gets you off the hook. We’re going to keep trying until your aim improves.”
“Um, Rhea?”
She leaned against me as we walked. When she looked at me, her eyes were slightly unfocused.
“My aim wasn’t off. I tried to focus on hitting the ball, but I was so frustrated with you I pictured your face instead.”
Her steps faltered. She looked at me for a moment, her gaze unreadable. Then, finally, she nodded as if a decision had been made. “In that case, next time I’ll wear a helmet.”
19
Two nights later, we were back at Vein. As Rhea predicted, Giguhl’s injury healed quickly, and he claimed his boys were good as new. I had my doubts about his readiness to fight but kept my mouth shut. Giguhl was a grown demon, and it wasn’t my place to hover like an overprotective stage mother.
The fight pit was even more crowded tonight. I guess word of Giguhl’s victory over the Defiler had spread. Dozens of dark-races spectators turned out to see Vein’s newest champion fight. When Slade saw us walk in, he shot me an I-told-you-so smile but otherwise refrained from gloating.
This time it was a Gluttony demon. The thing was so massive it took up most of the ring. He looked kind of like Jabba the Hutt, only less attractive.
“What do you think?” Giguhl jogged in place with his gaze on the Glutton. I suppose he was trying to be intimidating, but his opponent was oblivious. He was too busy polishing off a bucket of fried chicken.
“I’d go for the tongue, personally,” Slade said. He’d already done his song and dance for the crowd before joining us on the sideline.