“Excuse me?”
He waved a hand in the air. “Never mind. Tea with lemon, please. And a Clorox wipe.”
The waitress shot him a look. “You kidding?”
“No.” She rolled her eyes but returned with one, and he carefully wiped down the table. “The amount of germs at public eateries is staggering. Do you know many restaurants just use a wet cloth to wipe the tables clean after each patron? No soap or disinfectant.”
Kennedy practically spit in fury and launched into her tirade. “Must be nice to make judgments on people who are trying to figure out what they want to do in life.”
He blinked. “Huh?”
“Why do you think a nail technician is beneath you?”
He jerked from the direct hit. “I don’t. I may not understand it, but I’m sure there’s training involved. She said she needed schooling. It’s honest work. That wasn’t my problem.”
“What was?”
“Connor said women in the beauty industry are unfaithful. I can’t marry someone who won’t be loyal.”
She placed her palms flat on the table and leaned forward. “Wait. Your brother thinks all women who are cosmetologists or hairstylists will cheat?”
“Yes.”
“For God’s sake, why?”
The waitress plopped down their mugs. He took a moment to examine the rim of the cup for traces of lipstick before he seemed comfortable enough to take a sip. “He had a girlfriend once who worked at a beauty shop. She cheated on him and broke his heart. Later, he found out that all the women in the salon had encouraged her to do it. I’ve never seen him that upset over one woman before, and after that, he swore off any long-term relationships. Connor warned me never to get involved with anyone in the beauty industry.”
Frustration steamed out of her ears. She opened her mouth, shut it, shook her head, and tried again. “Your brother had a bad experience with a specific woman—not everyone in the cosmetology world. How would you feel if I told you a rocket scientist—”
“Aerospace engineer.”
“—aerospace engineer cheated on me and now I’d never even speak with anyone involved in the industry? Or anyone who taught physics? How would that make you feel to be judged right away without being assessed on your individual ethics?”
She pictured his mind completing a series of clicks as he processed the information. “I wouldn’t like it.”
“Exactly. A whole group shouldn’t be punished for one person’s wrong deeds.”
“Agreed. It’s just—” He broke off and sipped his tea. She waited, sensing something bigger beyond the unsaid words.
“What?”
“I don’t want to hurt my brother. If I came home with a cosmetologist, it may bring up bad memories.”
“Maybe he needs to work through it. You can’t let your brother’s issues keep you from opportunities that may work for you. That’s not fair to anyone.”
“I guess.”
He drank his tea and grew pensive. She studied the graceful planes of his face and serious eyes while he pondered the liquid in his mug. It was a good time to back off, partly to keep her resolution to put some distance between them. She’d discovered his true motives, and though it didn’t make what he had done right, she understood more now. The man needed major socialization, and she knew exactly what to do about it. But for now, the best thing was to leave. Pay for the coffee, wish him good night, and go home. They’d meet for the next round in the clear day with barriers resurrected.
Ah, hell. There was pain in his eyes, and her heart couldn’t take it. “How old were you when your mom left?” she asked.
Most people wouldn’t respond. Nate just told the truth. “Ten. I knew she was unhappy, because she cried a lot, and fought with my dad. My father worked construction like my brother, so we didn’t have much. Mom liked pretty things. Clothes, jewelry, parties. She tried to drag Dad out a lot, but he only wanted to stay home in front of the television.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter. Kennedy knew different. “I got up in the morning and she had her bags packed. Made me breakfast, and told me she was going on a trip for a while. Kissed my forehead. I was in a mood so I grumbled something at her and left for school. I never saw her again.”
Her stomach tightened. She never understood why there was so much cruelty in the world, and why so many bad things happened to good people. “You don’t blame yourself, do you?”
“Nah, she had one foot out the door a long time ago. I just regret not saying anything heartfelt or meaningful when I had the chance. My last memory of her is bacon and eggs frying, her black suitcase on the floor, and my own pissed-off resentment of having to go through another crappy school day while she goes off having fun.”
“Your father didn’t handle it well, I take it?”
“He had some sort of breakdown. Just withdrew into himself, became bitter, and forgot he had two sons left. We rarely saw him.”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “That pretty much sucks.”
His lips quirked upward. “Good thing Arilyn is the counselor.”
“Good thing. Did you ever think of trying to find your mom?”
“Don’t want to. Connor and I don’t need anyone else. That’s why he warns me not to fall long term for a beautiful woman. Get in and get out, he says. He’s afraid I’ll get played and end up with someone like Mom.”
The loose ends suddenly came together and created an intricate pattern that made sense. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and the sudden urge to share. His loneliness emanated from him in waves, but the strength of his core touched her deep. Almost as if her soul-mate sat right across from her, waiting for her to reach across, take his hands, and tell him it would all be okay.
Fear slammed into her gut like a sucker punch, stealing her breath. What was she thinking? What was she doing? He was right: this was Arilyn’s territory, and she had no right to strip him bare with no intention of helping or soothing his pain. Panic nipped at her like a puppy at her ankles. The air in the diner grew thick and stifling.
She had to go.
“Nate, I’m so sorry, I forgot I have to meet Kate tonight and I’m late.”
“That’s okay. Go ahead.” Nate stayed sitting at the table, staring down unseeingly at his hands gripping his steaming mug.
She stood up, grabbed her Dooney & Bourke purse, and hesitated. “You deserve someone beautiful inside and out. And I promise you, I’m going to find her.”