“You look pensive,” my dad said.
“Just thinking about college options.” Probably I shouldn’t have used that excuse, but it was the first thing I thought of after he startled me.
“There a lot of great possibilities here in Boston,” my mom put in. “And you could live at home until you graduate, save up for your own place.”
“We can get you free tuition if you go to—”
“I know, Dad. You’ve made it clear that you’d love for me to go to BU.”
“It’s an option. Think about it.”
I finished my artichoke and escaped before he told me how lucky I was to have such a bright future ahead. That night I finished all of my homework and got ready for bed, but I never heard from Kian. With a faint sigh, I carried my phone to the window and looked out over the dark street. Lights streaked the pavement, leaving patches of darkness that seemed almost sentient. The longer I stared, the more they swelled and seethed with movement until I slammed the curtains shut with trembling hands. Fear had a hold on me when I fell asleep and the next morning, its icy fingers were still wrapped around my throat.
On the way to the station, I walked into a flutter of pigeons, and it seemed their tiny, beady eyes and flapping wings reflected purposeful intent. I must have looked like a crazy person as I ran from a flock of dirty winged rats, but I didn’t stop until I was inside the train car. As it left the station, in the space between one blink and another, I saw the thin man from last night standing on the platform, but when I stared harder, he melted before my eyes, leaving only a dark stain on the cement.
Okay, so I’m going crazy. There are probably pills for it.
At school, I was distracted enough that Colin made me stay after first period. The rest of the girls seemed disappointed that he singled me out of instead of them and I imagined they’d daydream in class tomorrow.
I tried not to show my impatience as he asked, “Is something wrong, Edie? I know I’ve only had you in class for a few days now, but you’re usually quite lively and engaged. Today, it was as if you just weren’t here.”
“I have some things on my mind,” I said.
Like where the hell is Kian? And what am I seeing? Not seeing. Whatever.
“Anything you want to talk about?” He fixed a soulful look on me, and I wondered whether he wanted girls to fall head over heels for him. Or maybe he just didn’t realize how a desperate teenager might read his interest.
“Not really. I have to get to my next class.” I hurried off without waiting for him to respond. Maybe I was looking for weirdness, but the new teacher seemed way too interested in me after just a few days in class. It was possible he was a run-of-the-mill creeper or that I was reading too much into genuine professorial concern.
“You’re so lucky,” Nicole said as we left AP Lit. “I’m planning to fail the first exam so he’ll tutor me.”
“Sounds like an excellent plan,” I answered with only a hint of irony.
I tried to pay more attention in the rest of my morning classes, if only to escape scrutiny. Jen was waiting for me at my locker before lunch, so I went with her to the cafeteria, but my plans to cause trouble were on hold in response to more pressing problems: Kian incommunicado, Wedderburn, Mawer & Graf doing God knew what, and mysterious opposition that might try to hurt me to prevent me from doing something years later. If I told anyone, I’d wind up in a mental hospital for sure.
A small voice whispered, If you don’t teach these jackasses a lesson, they’ll think they can do whatever they want to people. Put that way, it seemed more critical to move forward, not because of what they’d done to me, but due to harm they might inflict on someone who wasn’t as lucky as I’d been. So when Allison cut in ahead of Jen and me in the line, I took it as a sign. Gift horse, mouth. I’m on it.
“Russ said the funniest thing yesterday,” I said.
Jen raised a brow at me. “I highly doubt that.” Apparently she shared my private estimation of his brainpower.
“He said the only reason you guys hang around with Cam is because he’s got a big house and his parents are gone a lot. Is that true?”
The other girl shrugged, her eyes going to Allison, as if to tell me I couldn’t trust her. Well, duh. I’m counting on that. Regardless of where it came from, this home truth should start a rift between Russ and Cameron. If my observations on social interaction held true, eventually the guys would take sides. And this was only the beginning.
Allison didn’t repeat what she’d overheard until just before the warning bell. Wisely, she waited until Russ went to the bathroom and then she leaned over and whispered to Cameron while staring at me. He fixed me with a look that was part confusion, part dread; I met his gaze squarely and smiled. In some deep, dark part of his lizard brain, he recognized me as a threat, but he couldn’t reconcile it rationally.
“Talk to you guys later,” I said.
After school, as I headed out, I glimpsed Russ and Cam arguing near the guys’ bathroom. Russ shoved him, hard, against the lockers, and I smiled. Tomorrow there would be some blowback on me, but not as much as Allison expected. I pressed through the crowd and strode toward the front gate, where I was astonished and relieved to find Kian waiting for me. Pointedly I stopped, checked my phone, then shook it at him; I was tempted to throw it.
He crossed the road toward me. Every time I saw him, it was a shock all over again. On closer inspection, though, he’d definitely looked better. Dark shadows cradled his eyes, and his clothes looked like he might’ve slept in his car. Before today, I’d never seen him unshaven; scruff prickled along his jaw, giving him a surprisingly rugged look. My fingers itched to touch the copper streaks in his hair, and despite my misgivings about his trustworthiness and his story, I wanted to hug him and then kiss the crap out of him.
“Before you yell at me, exhibit A.” His phone was a hunk of melted metal. “I ran into trouble after I texted you.”
“I can see that. Why didn’t you pop in to see me?” But as soon as the question emerged, I recalled how awkward it had been, the last time I saw him. In his shoes, I probably wouldn’t have risked a surprise visit either.
“You said you prefer if I don’t do that. I think the word ‘creepy’ might’ve been thrown around.”
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
To my aggravation, I didn’t know what to say. Our non-relationship was confusing, especially when he gave me a light kiss for the benefit of anyone who might be watching.