He was high on infatuation and hormones. He wanted to kiss her and keep kissing her, whether he was capable of making love again yet or not. But he didn’t find that realization upsetting. He was glad to know his heart wasn’t defective, as he’d feared. He didn’t care if she kept reminding him, in subtle ways, that she’d be leaving town. He’d deal with that when the time came. Right now, it seemed like such a far-off possibility. She’d only been home two weeks; it certainly wasn’t time to start packing her bags. And he’d found a way to reach her ex-husband. He’d get to the bottom of that mine incident eventually, figure out if Clyde Kingsdale was driving over and harassing her. And when he caught whoever had hurt her, he’d make sure the bastard never touched her again.
“There’s a Redbox at the Gas-N-Go,” he said. “Let’s get a movie and take it to my place.”
She was straightening her dress. “Okay, but...let’s walk.”
“It’s not too cold for you?”
“It’s better than going back home while my mother might still be up,” she said with a rueful laugh.
He ran around to his house for a coat, slipped it over her shoulders and took her hand, but she pulled away once they were out on the street. He halfway expected her to give his coat back.
“Why are you so afraid of people finding out that we’re seeing each other?” he asked.
“You mean that we’re sleeping together?”
He stopped walking. “Aren’t we doing both?”
She didn’t comment one way or the other. She just tugged on his arm to get him moving again. “I told you. It’s none of their business.”
Was it really that—or something else? Something that had to do with that note he’d found on her 4-Runner? “They’ll adjust once they get used to the idea.”
“I...prefer to stay out of the limelight.”
“Was your ex a jealous person?”
“I don’t really know,” she said, as if the answer surprised her as much as him.
He looked over at her. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I think he was more intent on getting me to feel some jealousy.”
“Why would he want that?”
“To prove I cared about him, I guess.”
“That’s why he cheated on you?”
“In his mind, it started there. At least, that was how he tried to explain it. He said if I could just love him more, he’d be satisfied. But...who knows? I don’t think I ever really knew him.”
“Then why did you marry him?”
“I thought I loved him, and he was so convinced we’d be happy together. I hoped that would be enough to build on. But...I doubt he really knew me, either.”
Noah was just admitting to himself that she was hard to know when she changed the subject.
“Have you ever been in love?”
He’d asked himself that many times before and, sadly, always came to the same conclusion. “There’ve been certain women I’ve liked more than others, but...head over heels? No.”
She offered him an encouraging smile. “You’ll find the right person eventually.”
How did she know she wasn’t the right person? Didn’t she want to be?
Sometimes she acted like it. Back at the store, she’d acted as if he was the only man on earth. But she’d already retreated. “Why do you keep pushing me away?” he asked.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she replied.
Noah had expected her to point to his less-than-stellar track record with women, to the gossip floating around town about his “commitment issues,” to say she didn’t trust him after the way he’d ignored her in high school. He hadn’t expected this. He’d heard similar things before. But Addy wasn’t playing hard to get, wasn’t using that statement to gain the upper hand. She was sincere in her concern, which gave him the odd feeling he’d had from the beginning—that he might’ve met the one woman who could break his heart.
“You don’t think you could ever love me?” he asked.
She seemed to struggle for the right answer, but before she could speak, a car swerved and nearly struck them both. Noah shoved Adelaide behind him, assuming it was some kind of attack like when she’d been abducted. But then he recognized the car. It was Eve’s.
“Noah!” The way Eve staggered when she got out made him wonder if she was drunk, but the alarm in her voice told him it was emotion and not alcohol that had her acting so unsteady.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I—I’ve been looking all over for you. Baxter, he—” She broke down, couldn’t even speak she was sobbing so hard.
The cold hand of terror ran down Noah’s spine. “What is it?” he asked again.
“He’s in the hospital.”
Noah stepped forward impatiently. “What’s wrong? What happened to him?”
She glanced at Addy, but Noah got the impression she didn’t really see her. “He overdosed.”
The strength left his legs. He was glad Eve rushed into his arms, because that gave him something to hang on to.
“On what?” he choked out. “Baxter doesn’t do drugs....”
“Sleeping pills. I don’t have all the details, but the doctors think he took over two thousand milligrams of Ambien, and he’d been drinking, which of course makes it even worse. The doctors are doing what they can. Meanwhile, we’ve been trying to find you.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“We tried! Again and again!”
He patted his pockets before remembering that he’d left his cell phone in his truck when he went in for dinner. At that point, nothing had mattered more than spending an enjoyable evening with Adelaide.
“He’s not going to die....” He didn’t want to ask for fear of the answer. His voice didn’t even sound like his own. Suddenly, that kiss at the cabin, Baxter’s sexual orientation, the changes his being g*y would require of their relationship—it all seemed so small, so manageable, in comparison to a final goodbye. Surely Baxter wouldn’t have taken his own life over what happened last weekend. And surely Noah’s reaction hadn’t added to his despair....
To his relief, Eve shook her head, but he could feel the wetness of her tears through his shirt. “I don’t think so. We...we’re lucky his neighbor went over to his house. He needed a—a bottle opener. Can you believe it?” She laughed but then her chest jerked against his as she tried to stifle a sob. “If his neighbor hadn’t needed that damn bottle opener...it would’ve been too late. As it was, he barely had a heartbeat when the paramedics got to him. They’re doing what they can to revive him, but it’s not yet clear whether or not he’ll pull through.”