His determination made her uneasy.
On top of that, she kept thinking about seeing Noah up on that podium, his soul bared for all to see. Like Baxter, she’d hung on every word, feeling far more empathy than she wanted to feel as he’d finally managed to say how much he loved and missed his brother.
After walking offstage, he’d headed for an exit as though he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. His father had tried to stop him, but he’d pushed past both his parents and kept going, which was when she knew he was embarrassed and maybe even a little angry that he’d been asked to speak about a loss that affected him so deeply.
In the end, after the angst of watching him had dissipated, she just felt sorry. Seeing him that vulnerable had torn down her defenses, made her want to protect him, if she could. Oddly, perhaps, it also made her want to comfort him.
But that was her old crush talking. She needed to stay away from Noah. Given the complex nature of the situation, they were both better off with no contact.
And yet he’d be coming to dinner next weekend.
Unless he canceled.
Maybe he’d cancel....
Tired of tossing and turning, she got up and went over to the window. Gran had the house so hot she could hardly breathe. Again. But she wasn’t about to open the door. She’d decided to crack the window as an alternative, but she didn’t even dare do that. Instead, she simply stared out at the yard, feeling caged and claustrophobic and—
She saw movement on the flagstone steps leading up to her door, and a surge of adrenaline nearly dropped her to her knees. That murky shadow had to belong to a human.
Someone was in the yard. But who? The man who’d abducted her? Had he returned with more threats? Or was he hoping to finish her off?
She hadn’t been able to keep the abduction a secret. She’d done her best to downplay it, but the entire town had talked of little else despite the details she’d held back.
Surely, he couldn’t be pleased about that....
It was a man. She could tell that much by his size and the way he walked. But she couldn’t identify him in the darkness. She couldn’t even make out his features.
He stepped onto the porch, and she covered her mouth to stifle a scream when he tried to peer in her window. He seemed to be staring right at her—which chilled her to the bone—but he couldn’t see anything, could he? It was even darker in her room than it was in the yard.
She inched back, seeking her phone. She didn’t want to call the police, didn’t want the problems to continue. She only wanted to get Gran’s affairs in order so they could move to Davis. But she wouldn’t be victimized again. Not if she could help it.
Before she reached the nightstand where her phone was charging, she heard a soft knock.
She hesitated, wondering what to do. She doubted anyone bent on causing her harm would knock. But...how stupid would she feel if she opened the door only to find out she was wrong?
“Adelaide?”
The voice was barely loud enough to hear. Obviously, whoever it was didn’t want to wake Gran. But with Gran’s hearing loss, that was unlikely. Depending on how deeply she was asleep, even screaming might not disturb her.
Addy grabbed her phone and punched in 9-1-1 but didn’t hit the send button. She planned to be ready, just in case. Then she crept to the door. “Who is it?”
“If I tell you, I’m afraid you won’t open up, but...I don’t mean any harm. I swear it. I...I’ve wanted to talk to you for a long time. Can you—can you trust me enough to give me two minutes?”
“No. I’m not opening the door.”
“Please?”
“Tell me who you are and say what you’ve got to say. I can hear you fine.”
“It’s Tom, Addy. I...I saw you at the game earlier, but...didn’t dare approach you.”
“Good choice.”
“I know. But...I’ve spent a lot of time over the years, thinking about what happened at that graduation party. I can’t believe my own actions. I keep asking myself...what if something like that happened to one of my girls?”
He seemed genuinely distraught.
Addy stared at the floor. “What would you hope for her attackers?”
“I’d want the boys castrated. I’d want them in prison. I’d be so angry...I can’t even tell you how angry I’d be. That’s what we deserved. Instead, Cody was the only one who lost, and he lost big. I’ve always attributed his death to...to God’s justice. But we got away without punishment. Why didn’t you go to the police?”
How did she explain? Her feelings after that night were so complex she wasn’t sure she understood them. Part of her refusal to act resulted from shame, and part stemmed from feeling somewhat responsible for her own fate. Her grandmother had told her she couldn’t attend the party, yet she’d snuck out of the house. Had she listened, she wouldn’t have been there, wouldn’t have been susceptible to Cody’s advances. He’d seemed so infatuated with her. It wasn’t until he tried to stick his tongue in her mouth that she stopped him. She admired his appearance but was quickly learning that looking like Noah didn’t make him Noah.
If she’d kept her distance from Cody, if she’d left after realizing he was stoned, would the night have ended differently?
Probably. That was a difficult thing to come to terms with. She couldn’t begin to describe the self-blame and loathing it inspired. Maybe that wasn’t entirely rational. In no way had she given her consent for what he and his friends did. But that didn’t lift the burden of her guilt.
And her self-blame was only part of it. What if no one believed her? What if the parents of all those boys formed a unified front and the community turned on her instead of them? They could easily claim she had emotional problems or been rejected by one or more of the boys she was accusing. She hadn’t wanted to be dissected in public. Neither had she wanted Gran to be embarrassed or put in a situation where she had to defend her beloved granddaughter. Taking a stand against so many prominent families would have damaged her business, too.
Bottom line, Gran didn’t deserve the pain and trouble Addy’s tale would have caused. She’d been through enough with her own daughter. And there was always the possibility that if Addy had told, Kevin and the others would’ve hurt her even more in retaliation.
She’d just wanted it all to go away. She wanted the same thing now. She especially hated the thought that someone might find out she was the reason Cody couldn’t come home that night. What would Noah think of her then?