But he managed to release her bra at that moment and the thudding of her heart drowned out the voice of reason. “I can’t hold back no matter what I think,” she whispered.
“Thank God.” He pulled off her sweater and the already unfastened bra, and tossed them aside.
The intensity of his expression and the single-minded purpose of his movements put goose bumps on Sophia’s flesh. She couldn’t believe it, but after all this time, Ted wasn’t angry with her anymore. She’d never thought she’d see this day but here it was—the day he wanted her again.
Or maybe she was dreaming. She’d dreamed of this so often....
“I’ve missed you, Sophia,” he murmured as his mouth moved down her neck. “I’ve wanted you for years.”
“Because I’m beautiful?”
He’d said something about her beauty while they were at the dealership, but compliments didn’t flatter her like they used to. She preferred to hear him say something about her personality. He didn’t.
“You are beautiful,” he said.
Perhaps there still wasn’t much else to admire. She’d been trying for years to become a better person, but trying wasn’t enough....
She couldn’t think about her faults right now, however. She couldn’t think of anything except Ted’s hands curling around her bottom and drawing her up against his arousal.
When she moved those hands to her bare br**sts, his breathing grew ragged, his kisses more demanding. She didn’t expect him to pull back, but he did.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice as hoarse as it was imploring. “Is this okay?”
It wasn’t okay. It left her as naked emotionally as she would soon be physically, and that terrified her. She was in love with him, had never stopped loving him. That was the reason she should say no. No one had the power to hurt her like he did. But it was the strength of those emotions that made “no” so hard.
“It’s fine,” she murmured and managed a smile, afraid he’d let her go and walk away and she’d never even have the memory.
“Look what you do to me,” he said, holding out one hand.
He was shaking. That reassured her—to know she wasn’t the only one who felt as if she’d just stepped off a cliff. Maybe this would be okay; maybe they were in it together.
Or maybe she’d bitterly regret it. Regardless, seeing the effect she had on him made her want to press the throttle to the floor—to push him to the very edge of control.
“I want you even more now than I did when we were younger,” she told him, and it was true. Back then she’d taken it for granted that there’d always be another encounter, and another after that. But now...she’d had to go without his touch for so long that she knew what a gift these moments were.
“That never changed for me,” he admitted.
There was a fierceness, a possessiveness, in Ted’s lovemaking that created such excitement. The muscles of his back and shoulders bunched as he lifted her in his arms and placed her on the rug. She felt the heat of his gaze like a hot flame licking over her body as he stripped off the rest of her clothes.
“Should we go upstairs?” he asked, glancing at the tree as if he’d only now realized where they were.
Sophia couldn’t help it. She thought of Eve coming out of his room the morning after Halloween and shook her head. She couldn’t hold that relationship against him, not after what she’d done with Skip, but she wanted to be in a different place, her own place.
“No. Let’s do it here,” she said. “I like that the Christmas lights are on and our shopping bags and wrapping paper are scattered all around. This is the perfect ending to the best day I’ve had in years.”
He looked concerned. “I’m afraid you’ll be uncomfortable.”
“I’ll be far from uncomfortable,” she said with a laugh. She had so many hormones flowing through her they could probably make love on a bed of nails and she wouldn’t feel the pain. “But...do you have any birth control?” She’d stopped taking the pill when Skip died; there hadn’t been any point.
“In my wallet.”
“Good.” She unfastened his pants and pulled them down over his hips. “You might want to find it,” she said, her voice husky as her eyes lowered to what she’d revealed. It wasn’t December 25 yet, but this was her Christmas gift to herself—and she was going to let herself enjoy every minute. Even if it turned out to be a mistake.
30
Making love to Sophia was every bit as fulfilling as Ted had expected it to be. He knew in his heart that he should’ve waited, given her more time before getting physical. Their relationship had been progressing nicely, especially today. He would’ve been wise to nurture that a little longer. But it had been getting harder and harder to keep his hands to himself, especially because, as much as he hated to admit it, she’d been the one he really wanted when he’d slept with Eve.
“Everything okay?” he murmured when she stirred. They’d been dozing on the floor, lying naked in each other’s arms.
“Fine,” she mumbled and snuggled closer.
“You’re getting cold.” He rubbed a hand along the smooth skin of her side. “Let’s go up to bed.”
He wasn’t sure she’d agree to spend the rest of the night with him.
She never got the chance to say one way or the other, because the doorbell interrupted.
“Shit,” he groaned. “Do you think we can pretend we’re not home?”
She hid a yawn with one hand as she sat up. “I doubt it. You didn’t put the garage door down when we drove in, did you? And the lights are on.”
“Good point.”
He didn’t want to bother answering, wasn’t happy that Sophia had pulled away and was starting to put on her clothes. This was an intrusion he wouldn’t have welcomed no matter who was at the door. But then he heard his mother’s voice calling to him, and realized she’d let herself in through the garage.
“Holy hell!” he snapped and jumped up.
Sophia went white as a sheet and began to scramble, too.
As he yanked on his jeans, he wondered if he should yell out for his mother to stay put. But that would give them away for sure. He thought they still might have time to dress, but he was just reaching for Sophia’s sweater so he could help her get it on when his mother walked into the room. She was carrying a stack of presents—which she dropped when she saw him standing there bare-chested and barefoot. He hadn’t even taken the time to put on his boxers or fasten his pants.