“Are you sure you won’t regret breaking up with her? I mean...who wouldn’t want a girlfriend like Eve?” As far as Sophia was concerned, Eve had it all—looks, personality and character.
“What makes you think I broke it off?”
She was territorial enough to have kept a close watch. But she couldn’t admit that. “I saw the way she looked at you.”
He glanced over at her. “I feel bad enough, okay?”
She pulled her own gaze back to the road before he could realize that she looked at him the same way. “Just being honest.”
“It was a mistake to try to make more of our relationship. I shouldn’t have started it to begin with.”
If Eve couldn’t win Ted’s heart, who could? Certainly she had no chance, which was why she’d been careful to keep their conversations and interaction so impersonal the past few weeks. She couldn’t afford to get her hopes up just because Eve was out of the picture. Who’d want the town pariah?
Her alcoholism would scare Ted away before he even had a chance to worry about the rest of her problems. How could someone who made so few mistakes ever sympathize with someone who made so many?
He turned down the volume on the radio. “Kyle said he gave you a call this week.”
She pretended to be absorbed in the scenery flying past her window. “He did.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“He said he invited you to his company Christmas party last Thursday. He thought it might be nice for you to get out and enjoy yourself, enjoy the season.”
“I couldn’t go,” she said. “Alexa had a math test the next day. I was helping her study.”
“Is that the one she aced?”
The memory of that fat red A at the top of her daughter’s paper brought Sophia a great deal of relief and pleasure. Alexa’s schoolwork required a lot more effort than it used to, probably because neither one of them had any emotional reserves. But the effort was paying off. Her daughter was doing much better. If she kept it up, there’d be no danger of her flunking seventh grade. “That’s the one.”
Ted had been so pleased when she showed it to him that he’d insisted on taking them out for ice cream and posting her test on his fridge.
“Okay, that explains why you refused Kyle,” he said. “What about Riley?”
“He told you he called me, too?”
“He mentioned it in passing.” He turned to glance at her. “He also mentioned that you said you had to work. He thought I was being an ogre.”
“He wanted to go to the Victorian Christmas Celebration tonight.”
“And you didn’t?”
“It’s not that, it’s just...it makes no sense to ask me to something so...public. Why would anyone want to be seen with me?”
“I’m sure he knew your situation before he asked, Sophia.”
“He only understands part of my situation.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He doesn’t know about my drinking problem. And I don’t want to tell him. I’d rather your friends think highly of me—well, as highly as they can, considering that most of my shortcomings are common knowledge.”
“You’re saying you’re not going to date anybody?”
“Not in Whiskey Creek.”
“Other alcoholics date and marry.”
“I wouldn’t risk letting someone fall in love with me if they didn’t know, and what’s the point of telling if I’ll be leaving soon?” Even if she wasn’t planning to leave, she wouldn’t date the guys Ted hung out with. She found Riley more handsome than Kyle, but she knew there were women who’d claim the opposite. Handsome didn’t matter. And it didn’t matter that they were nice. A relationship with either one wouldn’t end well, because she was in love with someone else. That was the mistake she’d made when she’d gone out with Skip—she’d gotten involved with a man who, in her mind and in her heart, couldn’t compare to Ted.
She’d been trapped for nearly fourteen years thanks to that poor choice.
“All you do is hang around the house when you’re off,” he said. “You might want to get out and have some fun once in a while.”
“It wouldn’t be fair to waste their time or money.” She’d been so engrossed in the conversation that she hadn’t been paying attention to where they were going. When Ted had exited the freeway, she assumed he was heading to Fulton Avenue and all the car dealerships along that street. But this didn’t look like...
Wait a minute! They were right by the hospital where her mother was institutionalized....
“Where are we going?” she asked.
At the alarm in her voice, he said, “It’s okay. I thought we could stop by and check on your mother, maybe drop off a little gift. And if you’re feeling up to it, we can visit her for a few minutes. But only if you’re feeling up to it.”
Sophia’s heart began to pound. It was difficult to come here, to see her mother in this setting. Elaine was so far from the woman she’d once been. To make matters worse, Sophia feared the same type of mental illness could overtake her and she’d be facing a similar future. The memories of how disjointed and upsetting their conversation on Thanksgiving had been made her anxiety that much more intense.
But when she looked at Ted, he said, “I’ll be right there beside you,” and somehow that gave her the courage to buy a poinsettia and some chocolates and carry them through those doors.
* * *
The visit with Sophia’s mother proved every bit as painful as Ted had feared. While they were there, she had almost no lucid moments. She didn’t seem to care that she had visitors, probably because she didn’t recognize them. She rambled incessantly about all kinds of things, including her underwear, which embarrassed Sophia and filled Ted’s mind with images he didn’t want to see. She tried to eat the poinsettia and ignored the chocolates, despite the fact that she was obsessed with the vending machine, specifically the candy bars it held. Sophia kept giving her dollar bills so she could slide them into the “magic slot,” as she called it. She ate four of the same kind of candy bar inside twenty minutes.
Before long, Ted was kicking himself for bringing Sophia to the hospital. When the idea first occurred to him, he’d been hoping for one special moment, one glimmer of reassurance or love from mother to daughter. He knew what it would mean to a woman who’d lost as much as Sophia. But now he thought they’d to have to leave without that—especially as Elaine’s behavior became increasingly erratic and the nurses checked in every few minutes, as if they were concerned about where it might lead.