“Would you stay if you were my girlfriend?” I asked hopefully.
“No, Rhett.” She sighed. “That’s not a reason to ask me to be your girlfriend. You can’t offer to be my boyfriend, just so you can trap me.”
“What if I get you pregnant?” I half-joked. “We could go to my room right now. I’ll f**k you without protection and we’ll see what happens.”
“Rhett.” Her eyes glittered at me. “You do know how f**ked up that sounds right?”
“I know.” I sighed. “I don’t even know what to think anymore.”
“We’ll always be friends.” She sat down on the couch. “I promise.”
“I feel like I’m losing you.” I sat down next to her. “I can’t lose you.”
“You’ll never lose me.” She shook her head and turned towards me. “We’re friends forever.”
“I know.” I looked away. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I didn’t want to be friends forever. I wanted more than that. It hit me like a ton of bricks. For so many years, I’d been fooling myself. I was in love with Clementine O’Hara. I was in love with her and I wanted nothing more than to be with her. Forever. Just thinking the words scared me. Forever was a long time. Forever didn’t really exist. Forever was a word for saps, but all of a sudden it didn’t matter to me. I didn’t care about what was going to happen. I didn’t care that it could fail. I didn’t care that there was a possibility that I could lose her. I needed her like I needed the air to breathe. “Dumbass.” I mumbled to myself as I realized what a dumbass I’d been. I’d been so jealous of Elliott and every other guy that I couldn’t even think straight. I hadn’t know what to think or feel and I’d talked myself into believing it was just because I was being protective over her. I was being protective, but I also didn’t want another man to touch her or kiss her. It made me angry just thinking about her with another guy.
“Rhett.” She whispered and touched my arm softly. I closed my eyes and just sat there. All the happiest memories in my life were from times I’d had with Clementine. She’d been there through everything. She was my rock in ways I’d never even realized. She was the love of my life. She was my soulmate. She was everything to me. And she was moving away.
“So, I think I need to tell you something.” I opened my eyes slowly and looked into her eyes. She was gazing at me with such devotion that I was scared to even breathe. I knew in every fiber of my being that she loved me too. I knew then that sometimes, God did make miracles.
“Yes?” She asked softly and leaned towards me.
“So, I’ve been thinking…” I took a deep breath and was about to tell her I loved her when her phone rang.
“Hold on.” She groaned. “It might be Nanna, I told her I was going to check on you and call her to let her know you’re okay.”
“Okay.” I frowned, annoyed that my declaration was going to have to wait.
“Hello,” She answered with a smile on her face. Her eyes gazed into mine with a sweet expression. “Oh hi, Penelope.” She spoke and my heart stopped. “What’s up? Can I call you back? I’m here with Rhett.” She frowned then. “It can’t wait.”
Dear, God, no. was all I could think. I continued staring at her, and watched as her expression changed.
“Say that again?” Her voice rose and her expression changed. She looked at me for a second and I saw the shock and dismay in her expression. Shit! “What happened exactly?” Her voice was cold and she moved away from me. “I see. I’m sorry, I had no idea. Yes, he doesn’t care who he hurts.” She bit her lower lip and I knew then, that there was going to be no happy ending. “I don’t know why he does it, Penelope. I don’t know if he’s a sex addict. I’ve got to go.” She hung up the phone and put it into her purse slowly.
“So, you know?” I sighed after a few minutes of silence.
“I always wondered you know.” She turned towards me. “Not about you and Penelope of course, but if you could be faithful. I always wondered if we ever hooked up, if you could be faithful. I know we aren’t dating. I know that we’re not exclusive. I know that. But I thought I’d be enough.”
“We hooked up before you and I…” My voice faded as she held her hand up.
“The day before, Rhett. The day before.”
“It wasn’t like that.” I shook my head. “I don’t even like her. I’m not even attracted to her.”
“So that makes it better?” She laughed bitterly. “You don’t even have to be attracted to a girl to hook up?”
“We didn’t have sex.” I reached for her hands and she pulled away from me.
“I know.” She jumped up. “Does that make a difference?”
“I thought of you.”
“Oh that fixes everything then.” She glared at me. “You thought of me as she touched you. You thought of me when you attempted to…” Her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face. “How could you Rhett?”
“I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hurt you.” I jumped up and tried to touch her, but she flinched.
“I gave myself to you. I trusted you. I would have done anything for you, Rhett.” She sobbed. “I can’t deal with this.”
“Please, can we talk?” My heart broke as she sobbed.
“I’m done talking. I’m done trying to make everything work for you.” She shook her head. “I’m over it, Rhett. You’re a selfish son-of-a-bitch. All you care about is yourself. I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. But you just never saw me as more than your friend. I’m the person that’s there when your lady friends are busy or you have nothing else to do.”
“That’s not true.” I shook my head. “You’re my everything, Clementine.”
“Oh shut the front door.” She shouted. “We both know that’s not true.”
“Shut the front door?” I smiled and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Whatever. I’m leaving.”
“Clementine.” I grabbed a hold of her. “Please.”
“Whatever, Rhett. Save it.” She shook her head. “I’m over it.”
“What does that mean?”