“Maybe a game isn’t the best idea?” I blurted.
Nat quickly nodded.
“TV?”
“Sure!” She tucked her knees underneath her and waited for me to find something to watch.
The minute I flipped channels it landed on Entertainment News. And of course, Demetri’s perfect face was plastered all over the place as the host gushed about his current work with underprivileged kids. He waved at photographers as he wandered into his hotel. Demetri looked happy — he looked free.
“He looks happy,” Nat said basically reading my mind.
“Happiest I’ve seen him in a while,” I said quietly.
The TV flashed pictures of me and then of me and my brother on tour. I shifted uncomfortably because that was the last concert we’d done. The one where I’d given my brother an ultimatum. Then Nat’s picture was thrown onto the screen and of course they had to discuss the fact that Nat wasn’t just close to Demetri but me as well. Right, like we rocked that way and shared her every other night.
Guilt attacked every fiber of my being, because it was too close to the truth. We were sharing her — in a way she was both of ours. I had as much ownership over her as he did.
A commercial popped on the screen. I needed to go to bed. I was exhausted and the last thing I needed was yet another excuse to attack my brother’s girlfriend.
“It’s late.”
“I know.”
“We should go to bed,” I said softly.
Nat’s mouth dropped open.
Crap. “Separately.”
“Right.” She got to her feet and waited while I turned off the TV as well as the rest of the lights. Once the last light downstairs was extinguished, my heart took off like a jackhammer
“Alec?” Nat called to me in the dark. Damn it, I really should have thought that through. Darkness made me think things were okay that were so not okay in the daytime, in the light.
“I’m here,” I said from behind her, my hand moving to the small of her back as I led her up the stairs. She tripped on the last one. “You okay?”
She mumbled a ‘yes.’
We walked in silence down the hall, I pushed open the door to Demetri’s room and flicked on the light. “So…” Everything was in khaki and white. My brother may be addicted to illegal substances but he was seriously the cleanest guy I knew. He liked bland colors for his room; said excitement made it so he coudln’t calm down and sleep. Sometimes I wondered if he needed bland in his life because he was so ADD all the time.
“Wow.” Nat’s gaze roamed around the room.
“Creepy, I know,” I said behind her. “He’s weird about keeping his room clean and clutter free, says it messes with his music if he has clutter in his life.”
“Sounds like him.” She smiled happily. Was I imagining things or did she genuinely look like she missed him? My heart skipped a beat then took off again.
“So” — I clapped my hands together as if I was a freaking tour guide — “The bathroom’s right through there, and the sheets are clean. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“Okay.”
I nodded and started walking out of the room.
Nat called after me, “Alec, thanks for letting me stay and for…” She sighed. “For saying I’m important.”
“No problem.” I knew my smile was sad, but I couldn’t help it. I slowly closed the door and walked across the hall to my room.
It wasn’t the thunder that woke me up — nope instead it was Nat’s yelling across the hall. At first I thought I’d left the TV on or something but it was her voice. Cursing, I ran as fast as I could to Demetri’s room and threw open the door. Nat was thrashing in her bed.
“No! No!”
“Nat! Nat, wake up, Sweet. Wake up.” I tenderly took her into my arms and rocked her gently. “It was just a dream.”
Her entire body shook as I pulled her into my lap. She buried her head in my chest.
“Nat? Talk to me, Nat.” My voice was shaky to say the least.
She trembled. “It was so real.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I caressed her head, keeping it firmly tucked under my chin.
“No.” Her body convulsed.
“Come on.” I lifted her into my arms, laying her cheek against my bare chest. Using my foot, I closed the door to Demetri’s room and walked back into mine.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Relax.” I whispered, placing her on my bed. Carefully, I pulled back the covers and tucked her in. She looked exhausted. I kissed her forehead and got in next to her. “Sleep, Nat.”
She shivered like she was cold. Well hell. I could handle this. I could control myself. “Come here,” I draped an arm around her and tucked her into the curve of my body.
Nat tensed. Did she think I was that guy? That I would use her fear to put a move on her?
“Nat, I’m exhausted and most of all I’m a good guy. Close your eyes, and stop worrying. Demetri would understand.”
“Okay.” She sagged against me in relief, within minutes her breathing was slow and even.
I however — didn’t’ sleep a wink. And it had everything to do with the fact that her entire body fit perfectly against mine, and I had no clue, no idea, if I’d ever experience that type of perfection again.
Finally, around four am, I succumb to exhaustion. The morning sunlight woke me up first, and then it was Nat moving beneath me that got my attention. I kept my eyes closed, amused that she had somehow gotten herself so tangled in both my legs and the sheets.
She gave another grunt as she tried to pull her legs out from underneath mine. Finding it hilarious, I tightened my hold on her body. Nat sighed in frustration and tried again, then stilled.
Was she staring at me?
“Stop inspecting me, it’s creepy,” I said in a hoarse voice. “Did I mention I haven’t slept that good in years?” Granted, it took me a while to get there but once I was asleep. It was like I’d been given a sedative.
“I’m the best bed partner ever.” Nat joked trying to nudge me, instead, her nudge made it so she fell back against me — forcefully pushing our bodies together in a way that really, really, mimicked all things sexual.
I closed my eyes and cursed. When I opened them again, it was to tell her that this thing, whatever we had, couldn’t ever be real. It had to end. It was too hard being close to her. Holy shit I was going to officially de-friend a person.