“That was uncalled for.” Hands shaking, she opened the door to the car, climbed out, and began walking up the street in the opposite direction.
“Nat, stop!” I ran after her and pulled her into my arms. “I’m sorry, I just get so damned jealous. I see the way he looks at you. The way you look at him.” I was fishing for information — for anything that would tell me which direction her thoughts were heading. I was already sunk — in way too deep. If she pushed me away now — well, how could I survive it? When my heart had just started to heal? When my soul still felt so fragile I wanted to sob like a little kid? Hell, maybe I still was that lost little kid, needing acceptance, needing someone to tell me that it was okay to cry, that it was okay to be sad, that it was okay to feel.
“It’s not like that.” Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. “It won’t ever be like that. Believe me, he’s made it very clear where his loyalty lies.” Well shit. He rejected her. My brother went and fell on his own sword.
I sighed, looking away from her so I could process the information. “But have you made your intentions known? Have you made your choice, Nat?” When she didn’t answer I tilted her chin towards me and whispered against her cheek. “Because up until now, I’ve had my doubts.”
Her eyes flickered for a minute before shutting me out completely. “I want you.”
Wow. That hurt. More than I thought it would. Our first lie. Our first fight. The first time I finally realized that our relationship would never be equal. She’d always want him. And me? I’d always want her.
How messed up was that?
Furthermore how messed up was it that I was so desperate for anything from that girl that I was willing to take whatever she wanted to offer me. Damn it, if she would have trampled on her own heart and then handed it to me, I would have received it with all the humility and gratefulness I possessed. Nat was a treasure. One I vowed that one day, I’d win. I’d deserve.
Starting now.
I forced a wide grin. “You mean it?” I kissed her lips. “Tell me you mean it.” My hands went to her hair, threading it through my fingers.
“I mean it.” She returned my kiss, pressing her lips against mine then retreating as I spoke against them.
“I really care about you, Nat. I’ve never felt this way before.” My tongue caressed her lower lip, then slid into her mouth.
“Me either,” she said, her little body was shaking so bad I wanted to sob.
I kissed her again. Our mouths met and it was like a decision was made in her mind. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and held on for dear life.
My body trembled beneath her touch. Had she any idea what she did to me? What just her touch did to calm my aching soul? I kissed her again but was interrupted by someone honking their horn. We pulled apart and laughed.
“Food?” I asked.
“Food.” She nodded and held my hand.
I never wanted her to let go.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Alec
FUNNY HOW DAYS turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months. The outside world changes, yet my heart? The way I felt about her? Stayed exactly the same. I tried everything. I stayed away — watched from afar like a total creeper, and let Demetri be Demetri.
I laughed when he told me stories of Nat. I even went with them to the movies a few times.
On the outside — everything was fine.
On the inside? I was shredded.
It didn’t help matters that Demetri had asked me to take Nat to Homecoming because he couldn’t go. He’d changed. That was all there was to it. I was a man divided. One side of me was thrilled that Nat had helped Demetri turn into the brother I’d always hoped he could be. While the other half wanted to strangle him with my bare hands for stealing her kisses — when I wanted to save them for myself.
Demetri wanted to go back to LA to help with a volunteer theatre program; it was only going to be for a week or so.
I couldn’t say ‘no’ to him I wanted to say ‘no.’ I wanted to run screaming in the other direction.
Instead. I grinned — and said ‘sure why not?’
It was the weekend. I’d just finished my last final and was making my way down the hall when I saw Nat emerge from homeroom and do a little dance in the hallway. Crossing my arms, I leaned against the lockers and watched in amusement as the girl went into full out choreography. Damn, I wish I were that happy to finish a final.
“Is that from High School Musical?” I joked.
Nat froze, her hand mid-air as if she was doing Saturday Night Fever or a clock move, and turned. My grin was so wide it actually hurt my face. I lifted my phone into the air, snapped a few pictures and quickly sent them to Demetri.
Nat groane., “Please tell me you didn’t take a picture.”
“I didn’t take a picture,” I confirmed.
She exhaled.
“I recorded it and just uploaded to Youtube,” I lied.
“No!” she gasped barreling towards me.
“Nah.” I shrugged, loving the blush that crept up her cheeks. “But I did send it to Demetri.”
Holy shit she was scowling at me! It was the most we’d talked in three weeks. Most words we exchanged were yes or no answers to questions.
She exhaled and put her hands on her hips. “What do you want?”
“Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to,” I said darkly. Ah, and there it was, the pent up frustration and emotion just begging to be released. Damn what I wouldn’t do to get the chance to slam that pretty body against the lockers and kiss her senseless. I pushed the memories of her lips down into the darkness of my brain — into the black hole of my heart and offered her a casual smile.
“Sorry.”
I shrugged. “Demetri wants me to take you to Homecoming.”
Nat was quiet for a minute then said, “Demetri is very trusting.”
“Demetri knows where my loyalty lies.” Wow, that totally sounded like some cheesy movie line.
“So do I,” she said quickly.
We stood there glaring at one another for what seemed like hours.
“Look…” I cursed and walked towards her, she had to know that it would be okay. I mean I could control myself; I wasn’t that immature. “We’re friends. Let me take you. It would suck to go by yourself.”
“True.” She folded her arms across her chest, drawing my attention to the low V of her t-shirt. My eyes flickered down and then away from her body. “I just don’t know if it’s the best idea.”