The last of the minivan parade sped past my dad’s house as I reached the edge of the driveway, and the glowing heat of the sun warmed my skin while the sight of David warmed my whole day. Completely distracted, as usual, he didn’t even see me walk out.
As I cleared the windbreak of the house, the morning breeze blew in from the east, sweeping the dewy scent of roses in on its back. Strands of my hair caught the gust and wisped pleasantly along my shoulders like tickly feathers. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the sensation.
“Ara! Look out!”
My eyes shot open. The windshear of a speeding car nearly sucked me onto the road, but a hand gripped my arm and yanked me from the edge. “Jeeze, Ara!” Sam dropped my arm. “What the hell were you thinking?”
I swallowed hard and blinked. One more step and I would’ve been under that car. “Sorry, Sam. It wasn’t there when I started crossing.”
“I know.” He watched the beaten-up old bomb scream around the corner—smoke billowing out from its exhaust. “He came out of nowhere.”
“Sam.” A smile spread over my shock. “You just saved my life.”
“David. How come you didn’t see that?” He looked over my shoulder just as warm hands clasped my waist; David spun me into him, ignoring Sam. “Man, you were looking right at her.”
“Are you okay?” David asked in a soft whisper, cupping my cheek.
“Mm-hm.” I nodded.
“I—” He shook his head and looked at Sam. “I was looking this way, but I was…I just didn’t see it.”
I touched my collarbone; it felt like my heart was trying to break through the skin. David placed his hand over mine.
“Well, I gotta get to school,” Sam said, nodding toward the building as the last bell rang. “You need me to hold your hand across the road, sis?”
“Funny.” I rolled my eyes.
“Take care, Ara. Okay?” Sam started walking backward. “Dad only just got you back. It’ll kill him if you…do something stupid.”
My mouth fell open. “It was an accident,” I called out, standing on my toes to make my voice seem bigger.
He shrugged and kept walking.
“I’m sorry, Ara.” David’s eyes, still lost along the outline of my face, narrowed when I looked back at him. “I really—” his brow tightened, “—should have seen that.”
“It’s not your fault, David. I was totally in my own world.” I laughed, but David just shook his head.
“Your heart. It’s beating so fast.” He wrapped one arm, then the other around my shoulders and squeezed me tight enough to trap my hands against my chest.
“It’s because you’re doing that.”
He said something to me then, in a tone I interpreted as anger or maybe fear, but the words were in French.
“Huh?”
“Come on, let’s just get to class.” He started walking.
“David?” I said. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
“I—” His chest heaved, almost unnoticeably, as if he were regurgitating or maybe choking on words.
“Oh God, there is something wrong.” My heart picked up again and everything around me disappeared to insignificance. He didn’t move, didn’t speak, just stood—motionless, wordless and unresponsive. Tiny bubbles of despair flitted around my stomach. I felt like everyone on the school grounds was watching us. But the field was empty; we were late, and I didn’t care. “Does this have something to do with the reason you don’t wanna kiss me?”
“What? Is that what you think? That I don’t want to kiss you?” He shook his head and started walking away. “Honestly, Ara, I don’t know where you come up with these things.”
“Well, then, tell me what’s wrong. What am I supposed to think when you act like this?” I stepped out onto the road, pointing back to the spot where we’d just been standing.
He stopped, but didn’t turn around.
“David, what is it, what’s wrong?”
His head rolled downward. “I spoke to my uncle last night.”
“Okay, and?”
“And—” He turned to face me again. “When he comes to visit today, he has requested I return with him.”
“Return? Return where?”
“New York.”
“Why? For how long?”
David’s eyes closed for a second. “For good.”
“What? You’re leaving?”
He looked up then, and I don’t think he expected to see the hurt I could feel coming from my eyes. Without a word, he closed the gap between us and wrapped his body around me, pinning my face to his cool silk shirt. And though the warmth of his hands invited my soul to feel love, his heart betrayed the anguish in his eyes—seeming completely still, as if it weren’t even beating—certainly not feeling the pain I was. “Ara, leaving was never optional for me.”
My stomach sunk. “But…you said. You told me you weren’t going anywhere.”
His shoulders dropped. “I know. I—it was silly of me to say that. I got caught up in you, in this, and I made promises I knew, even then, that I probably couldn’t keep.”
“C—” My mouth hung open, stuck on a word. “Caught up? You don’t just get caught up, then make fake promises.”
“It wasn’t fake. When I made that promise, my every intention was to try to keep it.”
“Well, what’s changed? Why can’t you keep it now?”
“You might say reality came back to pay me a visit.”
I stared at him. “What kind of answer is that? That tells me nothing, David.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve done everything the wrong way here. I just wasn’t prepared to come here and fall in love, and now that I have, I need to rethink everything my life means.”
“But…can’t you rethink your life…with me in it?”
“It’s not viable.”
“Viable? Viable?” Incredulity rose up in me like heat. “So, that’s it? No negotiations. You’re just leaving me?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be for another few months.”
“Months? You said never. When were you going to tell me this—that you were leaving?”
He swallowed.
“You weren’t, were you? You were just going to leave?” I edged forward, my hands on my hips.