“Hi, Garrett,” I said, trying to smile but knowing it most likely looked like a spasm of the lips.
Garrett met me halfway and we stood there like the Two Maxs in that Dr. Seuss story. Neither of us moving, both stuck in our tracks.
“I’m here to see Gracie,” I announced stupidly.
Garrett’s eyebrows rose. “Yeah, I figured that, with you being at her parents’ house and all.”
“I know I haven’t been to see her yet, I just wasn’t sure…”
“Whether you could see another person you loved sick and suffering?” Garrett asked and I felt the giant knot in my stomach loosen with the realization that he got it. Just like he always did.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called. Especially after the way we left things,” Garrett said, surprising the hell out of me.
“You’ve been a little busy. Frankly, I didn’t expect to hear from you,” I said honestly. No sense in denying the big hole of suck I had been wallowing in for the past few days.
Garrett frowned and then shocked me even further by reaching out and wrapping his hand around my wrist, tugging me forward. I stumbled toward him until the tips of our shoes were touching and were breathing in each other’s air. I looked up into his eyes and almost recoiled at the depth of emotion I saw there.
I didn’t spend a lot of time embracing the touchy feely. I tended to feel awkward and weird when forced to deal with it. Even when Damien had said I love you, I never felt entirely comfortable with it, so it was my natural reaction to pull away.
But there was something about the way Garrett Bellows looked at me that made running the last thing I wanted to do.
“I should have called you, Ri. Because after what we said to each other, you deserved to hear every second of every day that I feel the same way. That you’re my girl. That we’ll be together until you decide you can do better and kick me to the curb.” He tugged on my arm again before moving his arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered before kissing the side of my mouth softly. He let his lips linger there, not deepening the kiss but with an aching tenderness that made my knees buckle.
“Stop saying you’re sorry. It’s annoying,” I said huskily after he moved away.
“It annoys you, huh? What else is new?” he teased before his face darkened. “I am sorry. But Gracie,”
“Gracie needed you. I get it,” I finished for him.
“We weren’t hooking up, Riley. We were never together like that. I just saw in her something that reminded me way too much of myself. I just wanted to help I guess,” he said, sounding like the boy who had lost his world and didn’t know what to do about it. It made me sad and angry and scared. All for him.
“I get that now. You’re a good guy, Garrett,” I said with a small smile.
Garrett gave me a crooked grin. “Just don’t tell anyone,” he quipped.
I stood there in the circle of his arms, knowing this is where I wanted to be. That even in the worst of circumstances he was always there. He was steadfast and loyal and never, ever wavered.
How many people could say they’d do the same?
Because this man had proved time and time again that he could handle the ugly that life threw at him and that was the kind of person I wanted in my life.
“I’d better get in there,” I told him, not wanting to move away from him, but knowing that I should. That there was someone else I needed to make things right with.
“Yeah, you should.” He didn’t move in to kiss me. In fact, he backed up and dropped his arms from around me. But I didn’t feel like I was being rejected. In fact, it felt almost like a promise of something more. Of something that we would build on…soon.
“Can I see you later?” he asked me, sounding hesitant, as though bracing himself for my rebuff.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I said.
“Okay then. I’ll call you tonight. You’ll answer, right?” he asked is light tone but he meant what he asked. He needed the validation that I wouldn’t turn him down again.
“Damn straight,” I said fiercely, earning me a laugh.
“Cool,” Garrett nodded, flipping his keys around on his finger. “Talk to you then.” He gave me a salute and I headed to the front door finding Gracie standing there, her hands shoved into the pockets of an oversized sweater.
Her long, blonde hair was lank and lifeless and her face was pale but her eyes were anything but remote.
“Hey, G,” I said not turning to watch Garrett drive away even as she lifted her hand to wave him off.
Once the sound of Garrett’s van disappeared, Gracie held open the door and let me inside. The house was just as I pictured the place where Gracie grew up. It was prim and proper. Everything tidy and in its place. There were framed family portraits on the shelves, Christmas cards made into a wreathe on the wall.
Gracie led me into the living room where a fire burned in a huge fireplace and a magnificent Christmas tree stood in the corner. It’s a very WASPy Christmas! I thought and then mentally scolded myself for being unkind. I didn’t know her parents; maybe they were very nice people despite the Keeping Up with the Joneses air that their home gave off.
“My parents are out to dinner. Thank freaking god! They’re driving me nuts!” Gracie said on a sigh, indicating for me to take a seat. Her easy naturalness threw me after months of fake civility.
“Stop looking at me like I’m an alien, Ri. I swear, I am Gracie Cook and not a pod person,” she giggled as I sat down on the couch.
“Well I’m glad there are no pod people present. That would make for some awkward conversation,” I remarked dryly. Gracie held out a bowl of walnuts, offering them to me. I shook my head and she started digging in with zeal.
“So how’ve you been?” she asked me after a few minutes of me listening to her crunching.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Gracie looked at me questioningly.
“It’s just funny that here we are, all super normal like and you’re asking me how I’m doing. Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” I asked her.
Gracie made a face. “I spend all day telling people how I’m doing. It would be nice to talk about someone else. Just to shake things up a bit,” she joked and I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to address the reasons for my neglectful friendship. I wanted to figure out how to fix all the ways our relationship had soured. I wanted to take the bull by the horns after months of skirting issues instead of facing them head on.